My Daughter Changed Her Last Name

My daughter changed he last name more than once.

She's been married more than once.

She's not married and never has been! Her eye brows look fine to me.

Parents of young children are usually discouraged to hear that it doesn't necessarily get easier when your kids get older.  Maybe less physical work, but other things can be harder sometimes.  Sorry to hear that, Bill.  Hang in there!

bayoubill


My daughter changed her last name to Gallops which is my X wife's maiden name. That hurt's my feelings. She claims that it was because of a stalker but that was a year ago. She never contacts me unless she needs money. Now she's complaining about genetics and her eye brows on facebook. It's tough being a dad!

I've been/am there Bill and yes it does kind of hurt sometimes.  In the end though it's what they want and the choices that they make that counts.  I'm just glad having had more time to deal with it though that they are capable of making their way without being dependant on me and that they always know they have an open door here if they do find themselves in any trouble.

My eldest daughter still retains my name (although that may change soon too...) and all of them are most definitely Daddy's girls whether they like it or not....  They've all worked out by now it's pretty pointless looking to me for money as well.

But it is kinda tough being a distant Father as the system as it stands, rightly or wrongly, is stacked in favour of the Mother. 

Who knows what the future will bring though it's all still just a work in progress.

Well said JB.

Bayoubill  I am in the process with a similar thing. My son hasn't changed his name but just as well have.....all started because of a stupid car. After giving him two cars which he trashed and ran into the ground,we decided to try and teach him responsibility.

  When he needed another car we sold it to him at way below its value. It had mechanical problems after 6 months of beating it into the ground and now I am the dad from hell.  He lives about 40 miles from me but won't give me his address. He recently had a son and I am not allowed to see him.

  I get along with my daughter great,can't understand the boy though. I keep scratching my head wondering what I ever did to him. All I ever did was help him any way I could.

My daughters have no idea how much they are loved by their father. On the comment on facebook about her eye brows and 'Thanks genetics" I answered her by saying "Your Welcome"
I spent all day yesterday with my X wife doing the paper work on closing our house in Missouri. It's now sold!  I took her out to lunch(can you believe that?) Some of you know the circumstances of our breakup and my bout with cancer. Now after all this time she says she made a horrible mistake. I remember when my kids were in High School I was constantly working and gone on the road most of the time. The guilt of that brothers me tremendously. I will just love her  and be happy she has a good life.
Boney's been giving me a hard time about spending time with my X and especially taking her to lunch (humorously)She said "I hope she choked and you choked for taking her" Maybe my X thought it will help ease her conscience by apologizing.She got what she wanted so now she has to live with it.

I kind of went through something like this. I don't have a lot of contact with my daughter but when I do, it's usually because she or her mother wants something.

The last two times I heard from them my X said she didn't want child support anymore and my daughter wanted her step father to legally adopt her and change her name to his. I reminded her that I've been paying for her health insurance for 12 years and she never used it and said she didn't need it. Over a period of 2 years she kept contacting me through my sister, I would call her, she would say she wanted to go forward, I'd have my lawyer call her and her number would be disconnected. The last time she got in touch with me my lawyer actually got through to her. After a couple of months of back and forth, and twisting my lawyers arm to represent both of us, I paid him $5,000. All my X wife had to do was sign the paperwork, have it go before the judge as a non contest, and it would have been over.

My lawyer never got the signed paperwork back. He tried to call her, phone number was disconnected again. Gone without a trace.

$5000 down the tubes. My daughter stopped by to see my sister about 6 months ago and she said her step father decided to wait until she was 18 to adopt her. I laughed till I had tears in my eyes when I heard that. What a crock of $hit.

Even though I had given her my blessing to have her name changed, she never did it.

How do we get ourselves in to these situations?

craigb

Bub

How do we get ourselves in to these situations?

By having kids?

True. I went in to it never dreaming this would happen though. Nobody does. Does this fall under the saying, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions?"

I took the other route and, since I'm approaching 50 now, am pretty sure that it will have to stay that way.  I'm thinking now it was the wrong choice - but who really knows...

My wife and I have talked about starting a family. She's quite a bit younger than me. I just turned 40 last month and feel I'm too old. If I was in better shape I might feel differently. My mom had me when she was 47 and died when I was 21. There's always that risk when you have kids later in life.

My daughters have no idea how much they are loved by their father.

Reminds me of the circumstances surrounding Jack Nicolson in the Bucket List when he never wanted to go see ( or was actually afraid to see) his daughter again, even knowing that his time was limited. 

It hurts so much to be rejected by your own family ... but how does that stack up to the hurt by not trying??? I've been in the unfortunate situation where, for job reasons, I don't get to see my family very often. My kids are getting to the transitioning out of the house phase now and things haven't been all that good between my wife and myself.

If I had to make up a bucket list, though... Spending time with all of them would be at the top of the list. I guess I've been quite used to swallowing my pride ( I'm not proud or ashamed of it ) but the repeated attempts seem worth it, just knowing you tried. It's never that easy, though and it's filled with pain.

 I don't have a daughter but 2 sons. If they wanted to change their last name I would remind them that I need to take them off my will and insurance payouts because the inheritence needs to go to someone with my family name.