Helpful ReplyNew Contemporary Christian Song, "Every Stone". Let me know what you think.

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jvgiannini
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2011/05/17 07:52:58 (permalink)

New Contemporary Christian Song, "Every Stone". Let me know what you think.

Hi,

Just posted a new song produced using Sonar X1. The song is written by Lisa Whitaker and TouchPoint.

http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_8603702


Thanks,
Jim Giannini




Jim Giannini
http://www.touchpointband.com

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    Guitarhacker
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    Re:New Contemporary Christian Song, "Every Stone". Let me know what you think. 2011/05/17 08:05:55 (permalink) ☄ Helpful
    I like the song.

    My first crit is that you should tune the instruments better. Something in there wasn't precisely in tune like it needed to be.

    The vox sound kinda dry..... although I am listening at low levels (sick child in the next room) so I can't hear the details really well, like I should.

    On the writing, pretty good job. I have heard (in songwriting sessions) that all the lyrics in a song should be sung like it was being spoken, naturally. And there was one place.. "when Jesus told the woman...by sin no more be bound" that should be rewritten (perhaps: be bound by sin no more)  to make it sound like we actually speak as opposed to "Yoda speak", so that is would sound natural. Sometimes we are tempted to use "Yoda Speak" to have a rhyme that works. ( You needed something to rhyme with Ground in the preceding line)  It is better to change the preceding rhyme if needed or leave the rhyme out all together. My co-writer obsesses over completing rhymes..... BUT, in church last Sunday, I was paying attention to the rhyming structure of the songs, and one of them had NO rhymes at all ..... well almost no rhymes. Rhymes are not as important as they once were. The message is important, so don't distract from it with un-natural English.  (my 2 centavos)  

    Nice song over all.

     edit: listened on cans.... nice, but I still agree with my comments above.  Singer has a nice voice, it needs a verb on it to give it some space.  Also ...I heard more of the Yoda speak in it.  I'd replace the guitar break at 3:16 with something else. It is out of tune a bit.
    post edited by Guitarhacker - 2011/05/17 09:04:20

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    jvgiannini
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    Re:New Contemporary Christian Song, "Every Stone". Let me know what you think. 2011/05/18 08:34:38 (permalink)
    Thanks really appreciate the comments. I have some very slight reverb on her vocal. I will add some more. I agree with what you are saying.

    Good catch on the intonation at 3:16. Needed to listen to that a few times but I think the issue is the there is a flat note right at the beginning of that riff. Definitely need to fix that.

    As for the lyrics... that will take a bit of work. This may be one of those good critiques to take home for the next song writing project.

    Again, great comments.

    Thanks!


    Jim Giannini
    http://www.touchpointband.com

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    Guitarhacker
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    Re:New Contemporary Christian Song, "Every Stone". Let me know what you think. 2011/05/18 08:46:38 (permalink)
    You should never look at any song as "finished" and carved in stone.

    I write with a co-writer on many of the lyric based songs I write. We bounce those lyrics back and forth 6 or more times. It has been said that hit songs are not written, they are re-written.

    So don't hesitate to go in and fix the lyrical things that are keeping Every Stone from moving to the next level.

    I find that by re-writing lines, and that means at times I have to re-write an entire verse or chorus, sometimes we scrap it and start again on the verse, we are forced to come at it from a different angle and the end result is better than the first attempt.

    Example: we have a song that has been "finished" now for some time but I recently changed 4 different words or phrases in it because as I listened, what sounded good and complete to start, now, later, didn't.

    Don't be afraid to re-write a song.

    My website & music: www.herbhartley.com

    MC4/5/6/X1e.c, on a Custom DAW   
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    BMI/NSAI

    "Just as the blade chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer " 
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    jsaras
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    Re:New Contemporary Christian Song, "Every Stone". Let me know what you think. 2011/05/18 19:04:52 (permalink)
    The bass is really booming.  I'd dial it down at least 6dB. 

    I'd also consider just using the piano in certain spots to create contrast.  As it is now, it mirrors the bass and guitar parts so closely that it really doesn't have a reason to be in the arrangement.  A more "floating" piano part would be cool though.

    http://www.audiorecordingandservices.com ("one minute free" mastering)

    http://tinyurl.com/3n6kj (free Sonar mixing template and Ozone mastering preset)
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    radio
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    Re:New Contemporary Christian Song, "Every Stone". Let me know what you think. 2011/05/19 00:18:36 (permalink)
    I agree if you haven't rewritten your lyrics twenty times over your not writing a great song !
    Great song writers write and rewrite over and over again unless your a Beatle or Paul but I guess in his or their early days he and John has rewrtten their lyrics many times over  .

    I have one of the best song writing boosk you can buy , Nashville Songwriting by Jerry Cupit .
    A rare old book packed with great songwriting tips , I like the song by the way !

    I need to open that book back up and start reading it again and maybe write another song , I spend too much time trying to hone in my skills with the music I have posted recently .
    Maybe soon I will take another stab at it again , might be fun !
     
    Good luck with your song , I liked it .

    Radio
    post edited by radio - 2011/05/19 00:20:19

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    mgh
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    Re:New Contemporary Christian Song, "Every Stone". Let me know what you think. 2011/05/19 03:59:48 (permalink)
    good song. nice suggestion about the piano i think. the singer has a decent voice. bass part could be a little more involved too - as it is it seems to pretty much pedal on the same note for much of the song. didn't hear any tuning issues, so maybe you've fixed that already.

    Memorare debut album 'Philistine' available now http://blackwoodproductio...philistine-digipack-cd
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