ed97643
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New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
Please evaluate the songwriting, mix, and performance of my latest creation in progress, titled "The Past is Gone". Some notes: - I "sing", but I haven't written words yet, so pardon my just "humming" and strange "speaking in tongues"; it's how I shape out a melody line pre-lyrics. - Recorded in Sonar 8 (slight Boost11 on the master bus) - Instruments: Piano is TruePianos Amber (included in Sonar 8 PE) All other keyboards are a Yamaha S90 Guitar is a Gibson Les Paul thru the Guitar Rig 3LE (included in Sonar 8 PE) Drums are me on a Gretsch Catalina Birch set Bass is me on a 1980s Fender Precision Singing is through a Rode NT1-A I tried to write a simple, catchy, groovy, effective pop-rock tune. I'm kind of pleased with how it evolved. It's got a pretty catchy chorus, if I do say so myself. So again, please feel free to comment on the songwriting, mix, and performance. Thanks! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=862560 [edited: spelling]
post edited by ed97643 - 2008/10/19 20:29:21
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robby 
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 00:11:08
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Ed, my cousin has a song he's written called "yesterday's gone" :-) I like the song and the toungs aren't bad. The harmonies/backing vocals are spectacular. Todd Rungren? The makings for a really really good song here. Very nice. It's funny, I do the same thing :-) Sometimes for months.
post edited by robby - 2008/10/20 00:13:55
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Nikolas
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 00:14:19
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Great playing. I loved the piano part which is nice and forward. I know the vocals aren't established yet, but they should be even more in front of the piano. Great start to a very cool tune.
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Jonbouy
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 08:29:54
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Ed, I agree with Robbie here this has all the makings, and the vocal scratch sounds amazing. I think this style of singing is called 'Ummanahhsing' as opposed to 'Harmonising'....  I remember seeing Marvin Hamlisch on a TV show over here writing a song 'on the fly' around a theme chosen from random words supplied by the audience, he managed to cook up a convincing tune from the contributed title "Life is cheese made visible" if I recall correctly... a bit of a vulgar display I'll admit but it did show his genius... Anyway I'm sorta digressing but I'm sure the words will follow, looking forward to hearing it develop. edit: btw what is that Guitar on your Soundclick page I'm guessing its Japanese but it looks really cool and I can't identify it?
post edited by Jonbouy - 2008/10/20 08:33:52
"We can't do anything to change the world until capitalism crumbles. In the meantime we should all go shopping to console ourselves" - Banksy
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Guitarhacker
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 10:54:32
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Sounds like a good start.... I'll be interesting to hear this finished.... with lyrics...
Nice recording on the instruments....
My website & music: www.herbhartley.com MC4/5/6/X1e.c, on a Custom DAW Focusrite Firewire Saffire Interface BMI/NSAI "Just as the blade chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer "
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Philip
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 10:55:58
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0.00000002 cents worth: You make me want to upgrade to S8 (no problems with NI Guitar Rig?  ). 0:20 vocals, while soft and sweet may need more consonant-clarity and/or volume... as this is your intro! (and at 2:43) Backing vocals (0:55) may need more width. Backing vocals could be louder at 2:45. Bridge-Transition (2nd chorus) at 3:19 is extremely powerful and hooks me sweetly; guitar at 3:50 might get more chorus-fattening as it climaxes toward the final hook. These are 1st thoughts and may be way off.
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lhansen
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 11:32:49
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Ed - I love the song structure introduced here. I would suggest no letting the ball drop on this one. Get crackin' on the lyrics and singing and I think you'll have an excellent song to present. This is a very strong composition and well played. Nice guitar playing and your voice sounds good.
Slow Marching Band Win 7 x64, Sonar X1E x64, Studio One v2, Focusrite Saffire 24 DSP Pro, Genelec 8030a, True Systems P-Solo, Focusrite ISA One, FMR RNP, GAP-73. "Someone to watch over me".
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Taylor_514C
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 12:17:49
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Very nice, cool tune, I liked the tone of the bass especially. The chorus sounds like a great hook to me - excellent harmonies. I definitely look forward to hearing the finished version. Cool vox as well.
There's lots to like about this song, the piano, the guitar solo, and the arrangement overall.
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Heckxx
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 12:34:22
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Definitely a good tune here. I noticed that some of the rhythms seemed a bit shaky around 0:26, it think the drums are to blame here. There are several places that could be tighter, rhythmically.
Chorus definitely has some nice melodies and harmonies, vocals could definitely be a little louder there. But you definitely need real lyrics, its definitely becomes a bit of a distraction hearing all these pseudo-lyrics, lol.
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ed97643
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 17:21:24
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Excellent feedback, everyone! Thanks to all.
I agree that I need to even out the vocal volume more; I didn't want to get too crazy with clip envelopes on a scratch track, so the final version will be more evened out.
Good call (above) on the unevenness of my drum playing. Believe it or not, I did go pretty crazy already sliding clips around, trying to make me sound like a better drummer than I am. Been at the guitar and keys forever, but only ~5 years on the drums, so that's my weak point for sure.
Finally, the guitar photo on my soundclick page: it's a used yamaha RGZ621 (pretty sure that's the model) that I bought used for like $300 at Music Go Round. Solid alder body; nice little shredder with a long (Ibanez-like) neck. I seldom play it, but I thought the photo made for a decent (generic) soundclick profile photo pic.
Thanks all; will post more when I can make some notable improvements!
Registered Cakewalk user since 1995
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jamesyoyo
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 19:39:42
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If I can make a suggestion?
This song has a much more pop structure then a rock song. If that is the direction you want to go, pump everything up and go balls out.
If you wanna go in the Rundgren direction (huge fan here), do something different or odd with your vocals...go as low as you can go (think like a Tom Waits sound) and bring it up to your normal register in the chorus, and re-work the instrumentation to include more of the swirly organ sounds you get to prior to the guitar lead.
You also might want to slow it down 10bpm or so...might come across as more plaintive.
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Mamabear
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 20:01:04
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Sounds like a great start here and I agree--the chorus is great! Can't wait to hear this finished!
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drumstixkev
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/20 20:13:12
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A really nice structured song. A very clean sound and everything sits nice in the mix. Love the verb your using on the vocals. The lead vox does need to be a bit louder. Alll in all a GREAT tune.
post edited by drumstixkev - 2008/10/21 18:55:29
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No How
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/21 09:34:14
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sounds good. Call it "you make me trip over my tongue" and seal it up.
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SoulPuppy
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/21 10:20:29
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I agree, although I'd call it "Da Lee Da"
Cool start
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spacey
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/22 21:40:56
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Ed sure enjoyed it. Look forward to hearing it finished. I think it's going to be a very good tune.
I like the energy it has now and it's just starting..that's cool.
Michael
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dcumpian
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RE: New Song in progress "The Past is Gone"
2008/10/23 20:40:40
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Ed,
Sorry I overlooked this earlier (I just can't keep up with this forum as much as I'd like). I love the piano part during the intro and verses. The chorus is good, but I hear some timing issues with the beat, so you may need to redo the drums there, more pronounced in the second chorus. It's a good scratch mix of what, I think, will be a really cool song.
Excellent start.
Regards,
Dan
Mixing is all about control. My music: http://dancumpian.bandcamp.com/ or https://soundcloud.com/dcumpian Studiocat Advanced Studio DAW (Intel i5 3550 @ 3.7GHz, Z77 motherboard, 16GB Ram, lots of HDDs), Sonar Plat, Mackie 1604, PreSonus Audiobox 44VSL, ESI 4x4 Midi Interface, Ibanez Bass, Custom Fender Mexi-Strat, NI S88, Roland JV-2080 & MDB-1, Komplete, Omnisphere, Lots o' plugins.
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