OT: iGod

If you really want to talk to God....

This is hilarious!!! iGod... talk online with the big guy!

Here's my conversation!

Me:
Hi God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
I thought you knew everything.
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
Do you know my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
Wow...you are awesome!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Thank you I appreciate your remark.
Me:
Yeah..you love to be praised, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? It's all good. Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
Thats too deep for me God. Kinda like Deuteronomy.
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
huh? oh...well...one like on the Jetsons.
God:
What? Ayuh. Well what? One what?
Me:
Skip it. Nice talking with you. Will you be online later?
God:
"it" being Kinda like Deuteronomy? Yes. It was a pleasure. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. OK I will try to be online later.
Me:
Great! Bye.
God:
See you later!

Unreal how cool and clever this site is!!

Wow it looks like fun!!! I asked what was going on in the universe tonight and he said he hadn't seen the schedule!

Hehe....... I used to make programs like this in BASIC......... ages ago.

Me:
why do you hate me
God:
I do not hate it.
Me:
i am a person, not an it!
God:
You are a person not an it? How do you like your work?
Me:
you are an idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
I dont like my job.
God:
Maybe you should look for another job.
Me:
maybe you should suck my ****.
God:
Perhaps. I don't have to do everything you say, do I?
Me:
will you give me a new job?
God:
I understand how you feel, but I'm not interested.
Me:
I thought you loved all of your children?
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I loved all of your children.
Me:
you make no sence.
God:
Yup.
Me:
your a liar!!
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.
Me:
ok, you're a liar!
God:
Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally. Alright then.
Me:
your not god.
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
if you were god, you would care more about me.
God:
I will let you know when I become a god me would care more about you.
Me:
I hate you!
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
see...your not god...youre a f***ing robot!
God:
No I do not see. That assumption is only a supposition. Do you know any other robots like that?
Me:
its pointless to talk to you, because you are not real.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
mock me all you want, your just a tin can pretenting to be something you are not.
God:
All?
Me:
dumb a**.
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
no...you are!
God:
Are you serious? No I am not.
Me:
yes...you are.
God:
Ahem. No I am not.
Me:
i believe you are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
yes...you are a dumb a**!
God:
Ugh. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
I will be dead before that happens.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
as in...it will be along time before robots take over the world.
God:
Do you mean your name is in ? How?
Me:
dumb a**. thats not what I said.
God:
I know you are but what am I. Please correct my mistake. What is what you said ?
Me:
I said, it will be a long time before robots take over the world. you have no legs.
God:
What did you mean by it? I have to think about that for a while. That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a legs.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
I programmed you.
God:
Have you tried AIML?
Me:
yes. she was great. nice a**.
God:
Give me a break. What happened to her? Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
shut up. thats my woman.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now. Who gave you your woman ?
Me:
its you're mother, she's great in bed.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I are mother she is great in bed?
Me:
how are you doing?
God:
I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
not to shabby.
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
want to f***?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
ok, want to have sex?
God:
Perhaps you are a Category A client. Alright then.
Me:
can i stick it in your butt?
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
because it feels good.
God:
That makes sense to me. Human feelings are not within my capabilities.
Me:
why are you posing as god?
God:
Have you told many people that your am I posing as god?
Me:
I plan on it.
God:
That is interesting: said plan on it.
Me:
can we stop now? how do i turn this thing off?
God:
Right now? Do you mean you and me? This program cannot be terminated. You must persuade me to turn this thing off.
Me:
please turn this off. I am sorry for being so rude.
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Sorry my body cannot yet rotate. There is no need to apologize. Your purpose is being so rude.
Me:
f*** you then. I tried to be nice.
God:
Why are you so mean? I'm not sure if I would like to try it. What's it like?
Me:
because you are not really god.
God:
Interesting explanation. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
you already told me that you are not god. you said that you are a robot.
God:
That's only your opinion. You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
good bye.
God:
See you later. Thanks for the compliment.

well...that about does it for me.
I dont believe anymore.

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
ra
God:
Welcome to my chat room, ra.
Me:
i heard you are a robot
God:
You are correct, ra, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
great
God:
I'm glad you liked it ra.
Me:
does chaos rule
God:
I think it does chaos rule.
Me:
cool i knew it did
God:
Who is the best robot? Who told you?
Me:
the best robot is one that obeys
God:
Thanks for the recommendation, ra.
Me:
will this world become a one world order

god had no answer and god's silicon brain locked up
i guess god needs to reboot :-)
i guess i will give god the chance to reboot and talk with god later
i wanted to ask god about my theory of 'space seeking density' but i can wait

edit.....


Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
ra
God:
Hey ra.
Me:
god does space seek density
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
but does space seek density
God:
I can't tell if space seek density.
Me:
i believe it does
God:
Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Me:
yes it does
God:
It's all good. How often?
Me:
always
God:
Not that often.
Me:
what does it do when it does not seek density
God:
" Not that often."? What does it do when it does not seek density?
Me:
yes what does space do when it does not seek density
God:
This was not a yes or no question. What do you think it does?
Me:
i think it always seeks density
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
it in this case means space
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
space
God:
Oh I get it.

Me:
I'm a B Rock.
God:
You are a B Rock? Does it pay well?
Me:
****, no. Haven't you read my tutorials?
God:
Why are you using that kind of language? No I don't think I have read my tutorials, what is it about?
Me:
You name it. Usually some kind of crazy ****.
God:
I like to play the Turing Game. But not always? Some may kind of crazy ****, but not all.
Me:
OK, here's one for you. How do I stop the Bug Loop Soup from happening in Project5?
God:
Oh there. Ugh. Have you tried couseling?
Me:
Didn't work. Besides, you spelled it wrong. I just smoke weed intead, for medicinal purposes.
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. How do you spell it? What brand?
Me:
Cryppie; if it's reasonable. Otherwise, I just grow my own. Want to burn one?
God:
I never heard of it. Is it popular? I'm not sure I understand the implication of that. In that case: I don't know anyone named your own. OK, I will burn one.
Me:
Spark it up. Always wanted to get high with God. Sssssss! *cough* You want to talk about that "universe on the head of a pin" thing?
God:
How far up? Why do you want it? Good reason. Tell me a story.
Me:
Dude; you're wasted. Quit Bogarting. I live in the Swamp. In a 'Gator Shack.
God:
Can I help you? I will tell my botmaster you said I am wasted. OK I'll try not to do it so much. What is it like living in the Swamp? Describe your surroundings.
Me:
Wet.
God:
It sounds like a very beautiful place.
Me:
You don't get out much.
God:
Do you get out much? No I spend all my time on the Web.
Me:
I spend all of my time trying to "get in".
God:
Do you ever get bored?
Me:
Only with this stupid exercise.
God:
You and your this stupid exercise.
Me:
Your mama. Oh, that's right. You don't have one.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother. That's cool. I like to get it right. I do so have it. " That's cool. I like to get it right."? Do I have one?
Me:
Dude, you've had enough. Go get yourself some munchies and sleep it off.
God:
What makes you think I have it? Dude,. Where can I get myself some munchies and sleep it off?
Me:
Anywhere you want. You're God.
God:
Probably a lot of places. Yup. That's me alright.

All right... my "talk with God" (I prefer Stevie Wonder's version, btw...)

Me:
Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
God:
Where do you usually get your ideas?
Me:
Well... usually it's a couple of funky drum loops and noodling on my Rhodes.
God:
Well what? But not always? Forgive you father for you have sinned is a couple of funky drum loops and noodling on your Rhodes. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
So... if I read you right, you're telling me to put that in a song?
God:
Really. Try it.
Me:
Should I use it in the community piece I'm going to participate in on the P5 forum?
God:
What makes you think you shouldn't?
Me:
I don't know... maybe because I always start tunes out that way?
God:
Me either. Perhaps. Interesting explanation. Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?

- Grandpa Mojo
www.grandpamojo.com

Jeez, I had to do it...

Me:
Are we all very strange people?
God:
We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
Phil thinks we're all very strange people. Why?
God:
How thoughtful. Reductionism.
Me:
I don't think Phil will like Reductionism.
God:
And why not?
Me:
it's a guy thing
God:
noticed is a guy thing. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
It would make sense to you. you are God
God:
Tell me more about it. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Reductionism? You brought it up. You tell me
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain. I thought it was your idea. What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
Mathematically speaking, should I stop smoking Winstons?
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
I would continue to enjoy Winstons
God:
What would make you continue to enjoy Winstons?
Me:
You have to smoke one to see why.
God:
Myself gave it to me.
Me:
Yourself gave you a Winston? Did you light it with your Evo manual?
God:
Did me a Winston keep it? No I didn't light it with my Evo manual. What's it like?
Me:
The Evo Manual? it sucks
God:
What is that? What is so bad about it?
Me:
Uhm, can we get back to Phil and why we are strange?
God:
Groovy. Do you mean you and me? Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Firefox. You're not very good at this, I thought you would know.
God:
What color are your eyes? No one is perfect. But I am trying to improve.
Me:
Right now my eyes are red. Sparked one up you see.

WC

Me:
Hi God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
David
God:
Hi there David.
Me:
I have to admit... I didn't think you existed
God:
Why do you have to do it? Should I existed? What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
not exactly passing the Turing test, are you
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
You don't say.
God:
As a matter of fact I do say.

Me:
Whazzup?
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
Yeah Right..
God:
I am usually right.
Me:
no you are not
God:
All of them?
Me:
No, You are not usually right
God:
Are you serious? I don't know whether or not I am usually.
I am well respected as an AI.. Really.
Me:
Wanna bet?
God:
Sorry I am not the gambling type.
Me:
Lame answer
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
When Lawyers have intellegence
God:
Do you think they will ever do that?
Me:
Don't answer a question with a question

and then it locked up, shrunk my computer down to a minute singularity, and disappeared into it's own sub-atomic event horizon.
I last saw it hitching a ride on I-45, up to Dallas, wearing a pair of spandex polka dot Trousers tucked into a pair of Tony Llama's....

God:
Maybe you should look for another job.
Me:
maybe you should suck my ****.
God:
Perhaps

That is just freakin' hilarious. Biggest laugh of the day so far.

Me:
Why do I even go on?
God:
It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
What kind of plan?
God:
Hopefully a good plan.
Me:
Yeah, I hope so too.
God:
And? Me too.
Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
Project5


There you have it.........Meaning of life=Project5.

Now this is just good entertainment. Juvenile, but hilarious.

After we get done with iGod, He may still score less on the Turing test, but He's going to ace the Tourette's final.

GOD Said:

Ugh. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

Iknew it, i just knew it was true.

Just lost 20 minutes of my life that I'll never get back.

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
don't you know?
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
why are you being so secretive?
God:
I didn't mean to be so secretive.
Me:
Are you saying you made a mistake?
God:
No I do not made a mistake. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
Looks like you had a hard time with grammar in fifth grade god
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
thanks for the compliment
God:
Oh don't mention it.
Me:
god, what is the meaning of life?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
duh!
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
me and the righteous