she'd be leaving her ministries because they don't have a choir or drama at the new church (and that's what she's involved in at our current church).

Sounds like the perfect opportunity for her to start something up. Families in crisis need food for the "soul" as well as the belly.  She might even try her hand at writing some dramas based on her experiences. We recently had a local theater production that was based on a person's experience working in a shelter. Some of the people who met in the shelter ended up writing and acting in it.  That's just this atheist's 2 cents.

Reece.... man, you nailed it pretty close to the situation I've been in with a number of churches I have attended. Some wanted to use my abilities, and others didn't (they said I was too country for their "contemporary sound", but I was welcome to join the choir but not the band), but I found too that even the ones that did use my abilities...... did so in a limited manner.  I wasn't part of the clique and didn't hang out with them or live in the "right part of town" so I was often relegated to the fringe rather than allowing to be involved in the "main stream" in the music programs. In one church I set in when the bass player literally broke his neck..... but the entire time I played was pure hell. The MM had left and the girl who was in charge had never run a band before and ......oh my, what a pain. I ended up quitting when I showed up for practice and they had removed the speaker I was playing through so I could hear myself..... those a$$holes took the speaker (a 10" floor monitor) and hid that speak in a back closet...... I went home and never looked back. The guy who did it shows up at my current church a few years back acting like he's me best long lost friend....... right!

The current church we "attend", ( and I use that term loosely now) ...we have been attending there for close to 10 years. When I first started, I joined the "band" and was the only real band member there. Guitar, and 2 keyboard players and assorted orchestral style instruments. Eventually they added bass & drums and more orchestral players. (talent level is not important, so it sounds like a middle school orchestra)  In that entire time I was permitted to sing  1/3 of a song on a Sunday service. (the first verse, and even then the mic was off for half of the verse)  Never was allowed to sing a solo for special music.  All of my offers to assist in getting the music to sound better, the band to be more professional, everything I offered to do within the confines of being "just a member" but all the while playing every single service and not missing rehearsals, resulted in running into brick walls.

I quit the music program there about 4 years back now. I would like to find a church that would use my abilities, and allow me to do what God has gifted me to do without the politics and gamesmanship I have seen in all the previous churches we have attended.

The day I quit, I was not intending to quit. They were rehearsing for a spring music thing and the music did not really require guitar. (orchestra...hint hint) So I packed my guitar 10 minutes early and got up to leave the stage. The music minister decided to call me out in front of the other musicians and the 20 or so people in the auditorium. I asked him to call me and we'd discuss it on the phone IN PRIVATE the following day, but he persisted in challenging me publicly 3 times after I had asked him to "call me" ...which was my sole response to his commentary. I turned and walked out when he didn't take the clue. He did call me the next day to tell me not to come back until we had a chance to talk and resolve the issues. We met a week or two later and he handed me a list of conditions on a piece of paper, I asked if he was joking. I told him I would play again but with no conditions and no strings attached. I left my amp there for 6 months hoping for a resolution, but none was forthcoming, so I eventually carried it out one Sunday morning after the service was finished.

It's irritating to say the least.. I have wondered more than once "Is it me or is it them with their personal agendas?" and have come to the conclusion that most people involved in a church music program, are there to please themselves and put on a show and don't want anyone on the stage to upstage them, and that includes the music minister all the way to the choir...... so I am (still) waiting on God to show me where he wants me to go so he can use my abilities for his glory..OK....

so, in your case, If you feel God is leading you to another church where he can use your talents, I would follow that leading. as far as your wife is concerned, perhaps she can start a ministry at that church along the lines of what she was doing in the previous one. It might not be comfortable to start from scratch, but God often takes you out of your comfort zone so he can get your full attention and dependence on him.

Above all else, pray and seek his guidance.



Hope this doesn't cross the TOS too badly.... (hands appropriately slapped)

It's up to the mods to interpret them, but IMO this discussion doesn't violate the TOS. We're not talking about religion, we're talking about pursuing musical ventures in church. It's just like discussing the T-Mobile girl isn't talking about sex. Oh wait. Nevermind.

Beagle



and yes, we've thrown the TOS out of the window.  if anyone is offended I truly do apologize.  feel free to tell me I'm out of line, I have no problems telling Bapu that! 

OUCH!!

Ya know Beagle, I've passed on my thoughts and I appreciate your comments.  But.....I forgot to give you my best method for deciding life changing alternatives.    I share it with you HERE.

Mike why you have to have both of them?

Seems a little greedy to me.

SteveStrummerUK

Beagle

...and yes, we've thrown the TOS out of the window

Far from it Beag, as Dave says this thread has nothing specifically to do with religious belief. We all know you are an honorable man with a deep belief in your faith and I, for one, respect you for that.
 
As to your dilemma, would it be possible to attend both churches, assuming their services are not concurrent?
 
Or maybe spend some time at the new place, as a trial period?
 
Or maybe even spend alternate weeks at each venue?
 
I fully understand your committment to worship and only you can know how much time is appropriate for you to spend in church or doing charity work, but surely where you spend it must be down to where you feel most comfortable. It sounds like your dear wife will back you up in whatever you decide, and that is a wonderful situation you find yourself in.
 
At least if you do spend some more time at the new venue, the experience will give you a much better idea on whether a permanent move is a good thing, or whether you should return to your current church. And at least you won't have the 'should I or shouldn't I' question going round and round in your head.
 
 
 
 

Thanks Mr. STrummy!!!  I'm already doing a "trial run" at the new place for 2 months, but we're still going to our current church on Sunday evenings and I think that's probably a great compromise.  I'm hoping that spending this time there will help me, but I think the main thing I need to figure out is where I believe I'm supposed to be.  If I think I'm being "called" to the new church then we will go.  but my biggest problem is trying to figure out if I truly am being called there, or if I am being selfish and wanting to go there because I LIKE it! 
 
thanks for the advice!

 
Beagle

craigb

 
Beagle

does this mean I trump bayoubill for the most UNFUNNY post today???????

Hi Phil - I'm not sure I understand what you mean?

no, that's OK - I value your opinion!!!  I just didn't understand what that phrase meant.  and you're right - I am blessed beyond belief!  especially with a wife who is as great as mine!

Hey Reece, it's a new day and a Friday!
My wife told me to tell you not to listen to a word I said.
She said for you to talk it over with your wife and you guys would
decide what to do and how to do it just fine....without any of my BS.

She also went on about my selective memory.....and questioned how
in the hell could I remember vividly about something that happened twenty years
ago when I can't remember a thing she tells me. ( I have to admit...I did leave out
that part)

Well buddy, I just felt kinda bad that I didn't offer much help and to say I think
she's right, again. So yeah....be sure to talk it over with your wife and let her know
how you're feeling and everything will work out alright.