Polka Novel?

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bapu
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2011/09/03 13:21:14 (permalink)

Polka Novel?

I wonder if Bubba can come up with the thousands of ways to do shrimp the Polka.
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    Old55
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    Re:Polka Novel? 2011/09/03 15:54:30 (permalink)
    I wonder if Bapu can write an unfunny novel about the Polka. LOL

    Should auld acquaintance be forgot--hey, who the hell are you guys?  
     
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    SteveStrummerUK
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    Re:Polka Novel? 2011/09/03 16:25:49 (permalink)
    Old55


    I wonder if Bapu can write an unfunny novel about the Polka. LOL

     
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    Old55
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    Re:Polka Novel? 2011/09/03 16:38:57 (permalink)
    LOL

    Should auld acquaintance be forgot--hey, who the hell are you guys?  
     
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    UbiquitousBubba
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    Re:Polka Novel? 2011/09/06 11:40:57 (permalink)
    I was working on the first chapter, when I heard a knock on the patio door.  I opened the vertical blinds and saw three guys in dark suits wearing sunglasses.  One of the men also carried a badger.  He looked angry.  The badger, that is.

    I opened the door and asked what they wanted.  “We’re from the Polka Anti-Defamation League (PADL)”, one man said.  “We have to talk.”  I started to shut the door, but a badger landed on my face.  Before I knew what was happening, I found myself bent over the kitchen counter with my hands duct taped behind my head. 

    One of the men lowered his face to mine.  “Do we have your attention, now?” he asked with a sneer.  The badger bit me on the leg.  “We heard about the new novel”, the man continued.  “Word spread throughout the Polka community.  We would have responded sooner, but we were completely incapacitated by the visual image of Bubba in lederhosen.”

    I heard all three men and one woodland creature shiver in revulsion.  “I understand that”, I said.  “But I still have some questions for you.  Are you serious about that acronym?  Shirley, there are enough other threats to Polka’s reputation that you don’t need to send three guys…”  The badger bit my leg again.  “…and a rodent, so why all the fuss?  Finally, why don’t the other two of you have badgers?”

    Two men glared at me.  “We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers”, they said.  The third man slapped a piece of paper down onto the counter next to me.  “This is a cease and desist order.  Consider this a warning.  You’re correct that there are many other cases currently pending regarding insults to the good name of Polka, but yours is one of the more egregious.  You’re on our Most Wanted list.”  He paused and the other men grinned.  Somehow, that wasn’t comforting.  “Now then”, he resumed with a certain glee.  “Let’s show you why we chose that acronym.”

    The first several whacks were startling, but I tried not to cry out too loudly.  My hindquarters felt like they were on fire after the first dozen blows.  The first guy handed a large board to one of his counterparts, who took his turn with great enthusiasm.  Each man did his best to make a lasting impression on me.  I did think it was going a little too far when the badger got to take a turn.  I’ve got to say, that critter had a really good arm. 

    When it was all over, the badger whipped out an accordion and started to play.  The four of them half stepped and hopped out of my kitchen and through the patio door from whence they’d come.  After a few minutes of whimpering in a manly fashion, I was able to free myself, and go sit in a tub of ice.  “Well”, I said to no one in particular.  “That certainly was better than the visit from the Society of Creatively Altered Livid Piranhas, (SCALP).”
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    craigb
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    Re:Polka Novel? 2011/09/06 14:17:35 (permalink)
    UbiquitousBubba


    Two men glared at me.  “We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers”, they said.  
    Just out of curiousity, did you happen to create the rest of that story just to be able to say the line above?
     
    (If so, I think it was worth it.)


     
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    bapu
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    Re:Polka Novel? 2011/09/06 14:18:18 (permalink)
    craigb


    UbiquitousBubba


    Two men glared at me.  “We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers”, they said.  
    Just out of curiousity, did you happen to create the rest of that story just to be able to say the line above?
     
    (If so, I think it was worth it.)

    I vote yes.
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    UbiquitousBubba
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    SteveStrummerUK
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    Re:Polka Novel? 2011/09/06 14:27:34 (permalink)
    UbiquitousBubba


    “We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers”

    Priceless
     
     

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    RobertB
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    Re:Polka Novel? 2011/09/06 17:44:38 (permalink)
    I want to know where the badger kept his accordion.

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    bapu
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    Re:Polka Novel? 2011/09/06 17:58:48 (permalink)
    RobertB


    I want to know where the badger kept his accordion.

    I think it's a metaphor.


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    Beagle
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    Re:Polka Novel? 2011/09/06 18:16:41 (permalink)
    bapu


    RobertB


    I want to know where the badger kept his accordion.

    I think it's a metaphor.

    okaaaayyy...
     
    then where did the badger keep his metaphor???? 

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    craigb
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    Re:Polka Novel? 2011/09/07 04:54:26 (permalink)
    Beagle


    bapu


    RobertB


    I want to know where the badger kept his accordion.

    I think it's a metaphor.

    okaaaayyy...
     
    then where did the badger keep his metaphor???? 


    In the garage next to his jetski, where else?

     
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    #13
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