Pouring coffee on myself

It's hot in Kansas right now.  Not the hottest temperature ever experienced by humanity, but hot.  It's been hot for awhile.  It's going to be hot for the foreseeable future. 
 
Here's the problem.  To combat the heat, the building management has turned the air conditioning down to about 2 kelvin.  It's beyond freezing in here.
 
To delay the onset of hypothermia, I've taken to pouring hot coffee on myself.  I had a fire going in the cubicle next to me, but it froze.  My coworkers are all getting freezer burn. 
 
Fortunately, I'm naturally more insulated than most.  I'm counting on that to get me through the next 6 -7 hours before I can get out of here.
 
I'm now contemplating survival scenarios...

Old55


Try an IV of habanero sauce. 

It may take a day to feel the heat, but you're going to pay for it one way or the other.

UbiquitousBubba


At this point, I'd go for mainlining napalm.

Napalm.  It's not just for mornings anymore...

Like that famous commercial: "You're in good hands with ArseState....the goodarse people"

Being that hot outside and making it extremely cold inside is just a recipe to get sick.
We had the same issue when I was in Vegas and the temp was 115-120F outside.

Start a riot and yell FIRE!!

  Some of the systems out here in the east were not really designed for more than 95F. Getting up above that they start to loose capacity and effectiveness...so if the system in your building can do that at over 100F the engineering is pretty good.

 Time does tend to slow down at 2 kelvin though. If it gets much colder than that you might be reading this again tomorrow in a time warp. I doubt you will remember reading it though.I have had a good coffee shower and they are not too bad if you use caffinated.The de caff. tended to dry my extemities out.
 
I would hunt down the thermostat gestapo and maybe try to convince them that you are not like hung meat.

[Note to self: Marketing has a slightly "gamey" flavour.  Accountants taste like chicken.]

I only use caffinated coffee in my coffee-showers.  No cream, no sugar, served black and steaming.

The rubber ducky who tells me what to do likes his that way, too.

Donner, party of 50?

I tried.  They said it was an obvious improvement and billed me instead.

Oh, and it's just as cold today.  Good thing my stash of HR Steaks is still here...

I'm too cold to imply anything.

I've never been appetizing, even at normal temperatures.

No Bubba's the crazy one.


Wait, you let your wife read this tripe??????


There may be a studio/room for rent in the Jonsey residence come tomorrow.

bapu


No Bubba's the crazy one.


Wait, you let your wife read this tripe??????


There may be a studio/room for rent in the Jonsey residence come tomorrow.

Well, I started reading it and burst out laughing - she asked me what was so funny so I said "read it"


The rest is history


I still have a room......

Mesh

Old55


Try an IV of habanero sauce. 

It may take a day to feel the heat, but you're going to pay for it one way or the other.

I suggest raw caps then mixed with naga jolokia.....

UbiquitousBubba


I'm too cold to imply anything.

I've never been appetizing, even at normal temperatures.

Is that the metronome running?  No, it my teeth chattering.  

trimph1

Mesh

Old55


Try an IV of habanero sauce. 

It may take a day to feel the heat, but you're going to pay for it one way or the other.

I suggest raw caps then mixed with naga jolokia.....

Now that sounds dangerous.  I tried some of that Capsaicin ointment on my elbow to relieve pain.  It didn't do a thing for the pain, but it distracted me by adding a burning sensation on my arm!  

 Gosh Mesh I'm not so sure I want to try any of that Florida food.