Rough Draft - "Alexandria"

Hi...a friend wrote a pretty cool poem and asked me if I could put it to music....it's still in a pretty embryonic state but I was kinda looking for some feedback...I'm really not much of a singer but tried to do some backing vocals on this and wonder how they sound to fresh ears....I will be trimming it down a bit I think as well...pretty long now....annyyywayys here it is..all thoughts/critiques welcome!:

Alexandria - Streaming


Alexandria - Download

Hey Variaxman,
I think for an embrionic stage this is excellent.
It reminds me (particularly the backing vocals,which are perfect) of Bowie, especially the chorus.
The vocal melody is the weak link here and needs building into something much stronger.
Not sure if this is sung by you but the lead vocalist really needs to polish up to do this justice.
I think there is the potential for a great track here.

Hi Variaxman,

OK - the good points; drums are great, guitars are really good. Lead guitar especially good, lovely tone and natural vibrato. Bass is spot-on, dead right for the track. Arrangement and structure is great, all points towards a good song.

Now the bad - I can either be honest or I can say the vocals are 'coming along' or 'need some work'; my honest opinion is if your voice this bad, you really shouldn't sing. Sorry, I know that sounds terrible, but a good song needs a good singer, and this really could be a good song.

James

Hi again Variaxman,

I always feel bad about giving negative feedback so thanks for taking it well!

I have a terrible voice and just can't hold a tune, so I either travel 300 miles to record Tim's vocals or I do instrumentals

Here's a thought - what about a collaboration? There's plenty of good singers floating about this forum, I'm sure somebody could help. Getting a good vocal from scratch is a heck of a task to set yourself.

James

Variaxman - I didnt think the vocals were that bad. My only thought was I couldnt understand the words, although I just played two gigs in a row and my ears are probably toast. But anyway I think it sounds like older David Bowie stuff, and i think you would find an audience for your music, I remember listening to "Paris is Burning", and it was a really good track... I think you should keep singing. It's your sound. I am a vocalist and you can hear my stuff in this forum, and I'd be glad to sing it for you, but it wouldnt be your sound, so my opinion is sing your own stuff, Heck think of Lou Reed, i think his voice is not all that great, but when you hear him you know it's Lou Reed.
What about for this song if you did a verse with the lower range and then for the second or third verse you sing up a whole octave and really give it some nads ! just an idea. Or if that wont work maybe think about singing it in a slightly higher key to give your voice little more power.
I dont know what type of effects your putting on your lead vocals, but you have a unique voice, and that's what sells, somethng fresh and different. If you really want to hear what it would sound like with another vocalist, i'd be happy to cut a quick track for you, but my guess would be you'd want to sing it yourself.... Just some thoughts. If you want me to cut it, email me email here