Save My Soul

Hey All,
 
I don't think I've ever posted this - it's an instrumental I came up with...just a dark thing that came together so quickly that I surprised myself. I'm much better at instrumentals (I feel) than vocal music. I really struggle with vocal music. I was reviewing some old stuff and thought I'd share this.
 
https://soundcloud.com/joshua-barnes/save-my-soul-joshua-barnes-updated
 
I had a writing partner at the time who liked this so much he wanted to write a song to it.
 
Here's a version of that too.
https://soundcloud.com/joshua-barnes/save-my-soul-complete-with-vocal
 

You've got *it*, that grandiose, eagle-eye view of music. Good job!

I think it is just a matter of capturing the right emotion of the particular piece you are attempting to vocalize. I find this is the case for me, even if it is spoken word and not singing.

I like how it skips a beat (or something) that's a cool arrangement. I listened to the non-vocal version. It's a good listen, and a nice instrumental. I do like that riff. Probably I'm waiting for the soaring Gilmour guitar lead. Is it coming?
 
Meanwhile, most of this tune seems weighted in the lower register. I seem to be picking out that snare. My first thought is it has a different reverb on it than the rest. Or maybe, take a look at your snare's reverb being returned, you could maybe roll off some of the lower reverb return from that snare, so the snare would sound more bright? Just a thought, might be worth a try. Low reverb returns can lead to mud, but your song isn't particularly muddy. 
 
cool stuff.
 
-Tom

Nice tune, laid back and kinda dark, like you said.  To me it does need some vocals, or more instrumentation.  I could easily hear some bluesy gravely dark vocal on it, oh yeah.  I would turn this up in the car if it came on the radio, for sure. 
 
Edit:  Ok...so now I listened to the other version with the female vocal, and that's pretty damn good too.  She's got a nice voice for this.  And she got a little gravel in it now and then too.  Sweet.  

I like the instrumental a lot, very atmospheric. That simple but huge kick/snare pattern is just the ticket, really quite menacing. Liking the breakdown with the delayed guitars too, right up my street.

now listening to the vocal version.  indistinguishable from the first.  Yes, that vocalist is good, you need to keep her on retainer.
 
awesome tune, I like it better than the first instrumental.
 
I am very thankful that you went this way.  I think this is a hit right here.  Reminds me of Haim a bit, just a little.  Radio ready, love it,
 
Awesome
 
Where did you find her, and how rural are you.
 
Great tune!!!!!
 
did you record this yourself?
 
Jesse Q. Screed