So, I paid a visit to the pet shop...

Isn't that something? That's exactly what I wood have said!

Prolly Google.

Or...
 
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, “Come on, a dog?” The owner says, “How about a cat?” The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can’t do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!” The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, “I’ve got it! A centipede!” The man says, “A centipede? I can’t imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay… I’ll try a centipede.” He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, “Clean the kitchen.” Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and… it’s immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away the counter-tops cleaned the appliances sparkling the floor waxed. He’s absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.” Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed the furniture cleaned and dusted the pillows on the sofa plumped, plants watered. The man thinks to himself, “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!” Next he says to the centipede, “Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper.” The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later…no centipede. 20 minutes later… no centipede. 30 minutes later… no centipede. By this point the man is wondering what’s going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later… still no centipede! He can’t imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede? So he goes to the front door, opens it…and there’s the centipede sitting right outside. The man says, “Hey! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What’s the matter?!” The centipede says, “I’m goin’! I’m goin’! I’m just puttin’ on my shoes!”
 

Hi,
 
Wow ... this thread went down just like a dead parrot!

Wife, "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective, we should split up."
Me, "Good idea, we can cover more ground that way!"

craigb
I don't know about you guys, but I would bet it's about as rare to find a centipede at a pet store as it was to find TWO talking centipede jokes with pretty much the same punch line.

 
HA HA EXACTLY!!!!!! :)

what's a budgie?

eph221
what's a budgie?

The guitarist for Siouxsie and the Banshees?

craigb

eph221
what's a budgie?

The drummer for Siouxsie and the Banshees?

Pficksd

eph221
what's a budgie?

Oh god, this is going back a bit, but here goes....