Song- Mold Me

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Starise
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2011/09/20 00:19:00 (permalink)

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    Guitarhacker
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/20 08:40:44 (permalink)
    Got words? 


    I like the tune/ chord progression.   

    Some parts are a bit rough. (starting around 1:24 or so) It's not flowing. 


    It needs some work to refine the idea and concept a bit. But it's a good start IMHO. 

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    #2
    Starise
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/21 10:35:59 (permalink)
     I had words for it but I wasn't happy with them and the vocal track was deleted. Guitarhacker I believe you were really trying to be helpful but what you are saying is too abstract for me to know what you mean. I plan to do something with the guitar track in one place where it stops suddenly before another part comes in. Also I have the violin part too high in volume which I will also fix............not sure what you mean by "not flowing".

     FWIW this will probably be my last post on the song forum. I had thought that it was intended more for listening and not as a critique. Half the people doing the critiqueing need to work on their own stuff more. I'll send my stuff to select individuals or studios whose opinions I trust from now on.

      I feel like the song forum is a competition of some kind instead of a relaxed place to listen to music. Importance is based more on who posts the most or who posts for who the most. I'm sure I'm not alone here in feeling this way.

     I keep changing what I do and I want to improve but I need to go somewhere that I can trust input....I seldom get the chance to listen to others music because I am at a place where I can't listen most of the time, so I don't fault others for being in that same situation.

     After reading comments on several others music they usually go like this; !st self proclaimed expert- I think your bass is a little too much,you need to lower that some. 2nd responder- Clueless but jumping on the bandwagon, yes he is right maybe just a little too much bass there. 3rd person- I thought the bass was ok in my cans. 4th responder- I liked the bass but I thought the highs on the cymbals needed some HF rolloff,too much shimmer.5th responder and close friend of the first responder- The bass is WAY to much.

     So whats this guy to do? His report card from the songs forum goes both ways, but the 1st responder has 2500 posts and is better known in the circles here so the majority rules in this case wrong or not. This isn't how a person can improve.Maybe the comment is correct or maybe the percentage of subjective listeners that particular day have a certain preference that either may or may not be correct.

     I have commented on a few songs here but honestly I felt a little guilty in doing so and I usually stated that I'm no expert and all is subjective. Yes in posting here you open yourself up to whatever anyone wants to say and frankly I have needed some of the things said. On the other hand a lot of what is said is subjective in many cases.

     So I see the song forum as biased based on popularity of said posters and unproductive as a learning tool using the comments made. It is better to take your music to a knowledgeable mixing engineer and read all you can on mixing techniques. If you are happy with your music,post it somewhere that people listen to it.

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    #3
    Guitarhacker
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/21 11:19:38 (permalink)
    perhaps my comments were taken the wrong way. If so... I apologize. It is my intent when I comment on a song to offer advice from my perspective with my limited experience and writing skills, to possibly help people improve their recording as well as their writing. 

    I can see your point, and it's well taken, and I've seen and probably been guilty of contributing to more than one post like that in my 4 years here. ( "ditto what they said" ) Music is always a "from MY POV" sort of thing. I might love a song and the next person hears all sorts of technical issues in it.... that's life and yeah some people can hear things that others overlook. 

    All I can say is I've heard some good things from you in the past. Don't quit the songs forum. That has been, of all the things that has helped me the most here, the one thing that really got me focused and learning this music thing. When people comment and say the bass is too loud, to weak, or the cymbals or vocals are causing sibilance.... it is a learning opportunity. Ask questions and find out what exactly they hear and find out how to fix it after you determine they might be right. 

    There are a few people here who I trust when they tell me I should look at this or that particular issue in my project. You should have a feel for who they are as well now as long as you have been here. I generally listen to what they say, then listen more closely to the song to see if what they say is valid. Try not to fall in love with your song to the point that you are offended when someone says something that you take as "bad" about it. Music is the wrong business to be in if one is easily offended by criticism.

    If a song is really bad I usually just refrain from commenting on it in a detailed manner. Or tend to make general comments on how to improve one aspect of it.... like "sing closer to the mic" or something like that. 

    Your tune: 

    The piano and guitar in the intro sounded really nice... and held promise of a cool tune to follow. At 51 it changed gears so to speak and the guitar was not playing the same chords as the others in a few places. 

    At 1:24 it changed again and the various instruments seemed to loose direction and were not playing the same chords in a few places. 

    Around 1:56 the instruments sounded again like they were playing the same song again, all playing the same chords and supporting melody. 
    The Piano outtro sounded good.

    You asked about flow. Flow is more of the feel of the song going naturally where it wants to go. As a writer, I want to lead the listener to where they really want the song to take them. It's not a fixed in concrete kind of concept. Flow is interrupted when a part changes drastically in one of several ways, and it's also interrupted when instruments like bass, or guitar are playing different chords than the other instruments like a piano & strings. They all need to flow together like a river. All headed in the same direction and all remaining similar in nature.

    Pink Floyd is a good example of flowing but changing at the same time. Another one that comes to mind is the musicians from Cirque du Solei.... have a listen to them (find it on Youtube) and you will hear changes and flow all in one. CdS has performers moving and doing things while the music plays, so it has to flow smoothly.

    I tend to be long winded at times, but I hope you understand that the crits I give, and many others here are not intended to hurt your feelings, or to tear you down, but are offered as well intentioned advice to help build you up, improve your skills, and keep you moving and growing as a recording enthusiast and a musician. 

    edit to add: On a given song posted... I might get 25 people who comment on it over the life of the song on the forum (several days at best)

    of those 20 are likely general comments... cool tune, like the song, yadda yadda.... the others might be.. the bass is a few db to loud, the cymbals could use some EQ in the 2.5k range.... the vocal is not as clear as it needs to be, try some low roll off below 100hz, stuff that is actually useful for improving.... and at times you have to pick through the comments to find that one thing that is the gem of advice that helps you. Sometimes I get nothing that helps, and sometimes I get a lot that helps. 
    post edited by Guitarhacker - 2011/09/21 11:26:52

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    #4
    Starise
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/21 12:26:17 (permalink)
    Guitarhacker


    perhaps my comments were taken the wrong way. If so... I apologize. It is my intent when I comment on a song to offer advice from my perspective with my limited experience and writing skills, to possibly help people improve their recording as well as their writing. 

    I can see your point, and it's well taken, and I've seen and probably been guilty of contributing to more than one post like that in my 4 years here. ( "ditto what they said" ) Music is always a "from MY POV" sort of thing. I might love a song and the next person hears all sorts of technical issues in it.... that's life and yeah some people can hear things that others overlook. 

    All I can say is I've heard some good things from you in the past. Don't quit the songs forum. That has been, of all the things that has helped me the most here, the one thing that really got me focused and learning this music thing. When people comment and say the bass is too loud, to weak, or the cymbals or vocals are causing sibilance.... it is a learning opportunity. Ask questions and find out what exactly they hear and find out how to fix it after you determine they might be right. 

    There are a few people here who I trust when they tell me I should look at this or that particular issue in my project. You should have a feel for who they are as well now as long as you have been here. I generally listen to what they say, then listen more closely to the song to see if what they say is valid. Try not to fall in love with your song to the point that you are offended when someone says something that you take as "bad" about it. Music is the wrong business to be in if one is easily offended by criticism.

    If a song is really bad I usually just refrain from commenting on it in a detailed manner. Or tend to make general comments on how to improve one aspect of it.... like "sing closer to the mic" or something like that. 

    Your tune: 

    The piano and guitar in the intro sounded really nice... and held promise of a cool tune to follow. At 51 it changed gears so to speak and the guitar was not playing the same chords as the others in a few places. 

    At 1:24 it changed again and the various instruments seemed to loose direction and were not playing the same chords in a few places. 

    Around 1:56 the instruments sounded again like they were playing the same song again, all playing the same chords and supporting melody. 
    The Piano outtro sounded good.

    You asked about flow. Flow is more of the feel of the song going naturally where it wants to go. As a writer, I want to lead the listener to where they really want the song to take them. It's not a fixed in concrete kind of concept. Flow is interrupted when a part changes drastically in one of several ways, and it's also interrupted when instruments like bass, or guitar are playing different chords than the other instruments like a piano & strings. They all need to flow together like a river. All headed in the same direction and all remaining similar in nature.

    Pink Floyd is a good example of flowing but changing at the same time. Another one that comes to mind is the musicians from Cirque du Solei.... have a listen to them (find it on Youtube) and you will hear changes and flow all in one. CdS has performers moving and doing things while the music plays, so it has to flow smoothly.

    I tend to be long winded at times, but I hope you understand that the crits I give, and many others here are not intended to hurt your feelings, or to tear you down, but are offered as well intentioned advice to help build you up, improve your skills, and keep you moving and growing as a recording enthusiast and a musician. 

    edit to add: On a given song posted... I might get 25 people who comment on it over the life of the song on the forum (several days at best)

    of those 20 are likely general comments... cool tune, like the song, yadda yadda.... the others might be.. the bass is a few db to loud, the cymbals could use some EQ in the 2.5k range.... the vocal is not as clear as it needs to be, try some low roll off below 100hz, stuff that is actually useful for improving.... and at times you have to pick through the comments to find that one thing that is the gem of advice that helps you. Sometimes I get nothing that helps, and sometimes I get a lot that helps. 


    Have some comments to make but I'll save these for a PM to you Guitarhacker.

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    jamesyoyo
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/21 13:07:46 (permalink)
    Starise


    FWIW this will probably be my last post on the song forum. I had thought that it was intended more for listening and not as a critique. Half the people doing the critiqueing need to work on their own stuff more. I'll send my stuff to select individuals or studios whose opinions I trust from now on.

    I feel like the song forum is a competition of some kind instead of a relaxed place to listen to music. Importance is based more on who posts the most or who posts for who the most. I'm sure I'm not alone here in feeling this way.
    Don't let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya!


    Seriously, if you want to leave, why not just leave with class, without the pompous editorial? And honestly: who cares what you mistakenly thought the forum was for?


    There are some posters whose songs I do not particularly care for but their critiques are right on the money. And a lot of this commentary is subjective, due to listening environments as well as musical tastes. You take it for what it is worth.


    I listened to a bunch of your stuff, and it has potential, but you could use a lot of the learning available in this forum. And you are right: it is biased, but usually in favor of good material.
    #6
    Starise
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/21 13:27:06 (permalink)
     I don't consider what I said pompous,its just how I feel and..... anyways, who cares what you think about what I think lol.
     
       I think its healthy to voice reasons why sometimes because improvements might be made. We have pro mixing engineers who argue that the material selling a million albums is absolute junk.I'm nowhere near that and I know it, but to me your opinion is subjective and taken with a grain of salt. Don't get me wrong, I can always work to improve and the best improvement is to be had in the presence of the experienced and overall thats not on the songs forum.

     My first mistake was to post anything here at all,because I should have known what the outcome would be.

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    jamesyoyo
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/21 13:57:50 (permalink)
    Well, with that attitude, good luck.  It was pompous. You said you needed to hear some of the things said, and then go on, saying everything is subjective. So which is it? You liked/needed some of the subjective advice, but not some of the other subjective advice? How are we to know which comments will be hurtful or confusing to you, and which will be helpful? And then you have the balls to suggest that other people, who have tried to help you when you asked, need to work on their stuff? Mind boggling.

    And for the record, what I said about yer stuff is really quite objective: I have a pretty good handle on what is good, and I know what needs work, and I usually know how to fix it. And there are very few hit songs I would say are absolute junk, because I am not a music snob, unlike many mixers!
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    Starise
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/21 14:41:38 (permalink)
    jamesyoyo


    Well, with that attitude, good luck.  It was pompous. You said you needed to hear some of the things said, and then go on, saying everything is subjective. So which is it? You liked/needed some of the subjective advice, but not some of the other subjective advice? How are we to know which comments will be hurtful or confusing to you, and which will be helpful? And then you have the balls to suggest that other people, who have tried to help you when you asked, need to work on their stuff? Mind boggling.

    And for the record, what I said about yer stuff is really quite objective: I have a pretty good handle on what is good, and I know what needs work, and I usually know how to fix it. And there are very few hit songs I would say are absolute junk, because I am not a music snob, unlike many mixers!
     
     
     I'm really not sure why I am being labeled as pompous. In a nutshell what I'm saying is that the way in which the song forum works could be improved on. I am also saying that it is difficult to know if the comments you are getting are really helpful since anyone can comment.
     
    Guitar hacker said the same thing in the last paragraph of his last post. You need to pick and choose what might be helpful to you. Not what you choose to hear or what you don't want to hear but what can help. Yes I have the balls to say that some of the commenters on this forum need to work on their stuff and I stand by that comment.
     
     I have in no way contradicted myself although you have attempted to make it look like I did.FTR I am not calling all mixers snobs. I am saying that what one mixer thinks is unusable another mixer makes money with.
     
     You might have thought I was being pompous when I said I intended to use a better avenue for critique of my material. I'm not intentionally slamming anyone here, but it saves time to go to a trusted expert. I never mean't that to be a pompous statement.

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    #9
    jamesyoyo
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/21 16:18:39 (permalink)
    Well, with your stufff being as excelent as it is, I am sure you will have experts lining up to assist.


    Good luck
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    CLEAN
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/21 20:38:07 (permalink)
    This song wasn't really very good - needs quite a bit of work.

    There is some great advice to be give here - you should work harder at listening.

    Good luck to you.

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    Janet
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/21 21:16:29 (permalink)
    Tim, I hope you don't give up so soon.  As you spend more time around here, you'll notice that about 98% of the posts are very helpful and friendly.  Unfortunately it's not 100%, so you do need thick skin.  

    Anyway, good playing here.  I hope you keep at it. 

    OTOH, if you want to post something just for enjoyment and NOT for critique, I suppose you could state that at the beginning.  Not many (if any?) of us do that, but I don't see why it couldn't happen.  
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    Guitarhacker
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/22 08:30:23 (permalink)
    Here's my take: 

    Tim,  

    Writing a good song takes work, study, learning skills, and many hours of writing and writing more and writing more.  The song you wrote had good things and things that really need some work. 

    As I write music today I re-write MORE then I write. (and I think I'm finally STARTING to get a handle on song writing after all these years) Nothing that you hear from me is a first draft. Usually by the time it is posted here, it's closer to what might be called finished. It has been through, on an average, SIX or more re-writes at that point.  
     
    The point it not many good songs, and NOTHING you hear on the radio is a "first draft" song. The more you write, the better you get as you learn the process and acquire the skills. 

    The advice I offered (read my first post again) was subtly telling you it needed to be re-written to fix the issues.  Since I don't know many of the song posters personally, I try to error on the side of civility not knowing how people will take the advice offered. 

    We all have days when we give short answers and people can get under our hides pretty easy.... Lord knows I have mine. And there are days when I feel like the whole world is using me for it's crapper. On these days, depending on which side of the fence you're on, you just gotta let it slide and move on. 

    I can't speak for James, but this one thing I do know about James.... If he hears something wrong in a mix, you can damn sure take it to the bank because he can pinpoint it and articulate to you exactly what is wrong. I value the feedback I get from James and several others who also have extraordinary ears and the ability to  put a second set of critical ears on my mixes. 

    Whether I take the advice or not, is up to me. But usually the feedback I get confirms what I knew already, or something that I missed in my laziness.  If what they say hurts my feelings, so what? they've been hurt before, they'll be hurt again, but life goes on and so do I. 

    I can truthfully say that I don't think I've ever had a personal attack against me. Telling me that a song I wrote is crap is not a personal attack. Telling me that the EQ is wrong, or the song needs a re-write to make if flow and sound better, or there are wrong notes or chords in it....... is not a personal attack.  I would venture that it is probably a valid observation.

    My suggestion: Let this pass.  We're like dogs here (in more ways than one) ... in that, we live in the present. I've seen plenty of second chances happen here. 

    Take the song, have a good look at it. See what we saw in it. then do one of two things...... either re-write it and have another shot at it in light of the feedback or forget it and start on a new project. 

    The goal is to continue to learn. 

    If you blow off this forum you are loosing a valuable asset in your educational experience.  This forum is one of the more active and civil sites on the net. I also post in a songwriting specific forum, and the crits there can be pretty harsh at times...... this place is a cakewalk (pun in 10 did) compared to the other places. 

    hope to see you around here again. 

    post edited by Guitarhacker - 2011/09/22 08:35:30

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    #13
    Starise
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/22 11:15:11 (permalink)
     
       I don't back pedal....period. If I'm wrong I admit it.......... I was wrong for attacking the songs thread and some people on it.

     I apologize to those who felt personally attacked. YoYo I think that is you,if so I apologize,and thanks for listening to my stuff.

      I appreciate the sincere help you offered Guitarhacker. I will consider this on my mix. I also appreciate your going the extra mile to try and help to clear this up,even though it was me who did it.

       Janet- I understand what you are saying. I also know now that mostly what happens on the song forum is critism...so I'll expect that.

     Thanks again for the comments and listening. I still see where improvements could be made,but I'll hold that for another time.

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    Guitarhacker
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/22 12:23:36 (permalink)

    My website & music: www.herbhartley.com

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    Janet
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/22 12:44:32 (permalink)
    I wouldn't say mostly criticism.  Lots of it is just 'good job', so I find it's usually a good balance.  It's also sorta like reading faces in poker (not like I'm am expert, but I'm guessing...) :)  After you're here long enough and read lots of reviews, you'll get to know how each person generally answers, and how to weigh their crits or praise.  Besides finding tons of help if we're willing to work with others.  :)  
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/23 07:19:54 (permalink)
    woah, this has gotten a little fraught. FWIW, i think your piano playing is better than your guitar playing, which is a shame on this track as the piano is a bit lost behind the guitars at times. you have a lot of very mid-heavy instruments (guitar, piano, violin) all competing for the same sonic space, and it is really hard to make that work - believe me, i have tried and it's almost always a compromise, and almost always you have to automate eq like mad, because an instrument that works solo will not work when set against something else. i like the concept here, especially when you have a few guitar leads and violin and the piece goes quite epic. i would lose the distorted rhythm guitar from around '54 as it doesn't hugely go with the vibe of the rest. there's a lot of potential here but a lot of work needed in both performance and mix. this is just my two cents of course, whether you want to read/believe is up to you!

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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/23 09:48:00 (permalink)
    Starise


     
      I don't back pedal....period. If I'm wrong I admit it.......... I was wrong for attacking the songs thread and some people on it.

    I apologize to those who felt personally attacked. YoYo I think that is you,if so I apologize,and thanks for listening to my stuff.


    Nah, I didn't take it as a personal attack. You don't know me, so how could I?

    #18
    Starise
    Max Output Level: -0.3 dBFS
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    Re:Song- Mold Me 2011/09/23 14:31:14 (permalink)
     Thanks MGH for your input on the track. You are right about my guitar abilities as they are a little behind my keyboard chops.

    YoYo- I'm glad we're cool man.

     I have heard other people comment on less than stellar behavior by making up excuses like, " I didn't get enough sleep" or " I just lost my job" or" my dad died" or whatever and maybe they are telling the truth in some respects as outside pressure can contribute towards our responses to others. I am not going to try and make up an excuse here.
     I was in fact,out of line and I was, for reasons unknown, moody yesterday and I apologize. Thats no excuse though. We can still maintain control even so. I usually do maintain control, but yesterday that last 30 seconds I usually take to re read a post before I post it went away and I hit the send button.

     The track I posted wasn't really even the main thing on my mind. I knew the track needed some work. The comments weren't necessarily the prime consideration either as only guitarhacker had commented and his comments should not have caused the response I gave.

      I wouldn't shoot the clerk at Mcdonalds just because they were out of  catsup or try and race the guy who cut me off in the car, but I was definately touchy and I apologize for that. I know my stuff overall needs some work and frankly I sometimes grow frustrated at the lack of time I have to really work with it, still I'm not defending my behavior.

     So please carry on and bury this post under a few hundred others so that  some other people can post music and things can get back to normal here.

     I'm going to go home and try to chill a little bit. I might even drink a cold one(my apologies to the Baptists who might be listening). If any of you see me getting like this again, don't hesitate to correct me. Have a good weekend!
    post edited by Starise - 2011/09/23 14:32:15

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