THIS TIME

It's a good song Steve, nice vocal. Messy mix though. There's a lot fighting for space in the low-mids, guitars are burying the drums, can't hear any bass...?
 
Might be good to make at least the first verse a bit sparser, try and add things in gradually to build up the songs arrangement. I hear two electric guitars and an acoustic. The electrics are quite heavily effected, could be that at least one of those would cut through better with a cleaner sound, and that might help to bring the synth pad through.
 
I like that Pink Floyd-ish bridge - not sure about the effect on the snare though.

To me, this sounds like you started pushing the mix in places without taking a break or resetting your ears by listening to something else. We've all done it, at least once.
 
Once you clean it up, I'd like to hear it again...
 
Regards,
Dan

As others have noted you have too many elements competing for space and burying the vocals in the process.
Try to arrange the song so that elements are introduced gradually working up to that big chorus.
Look forward to hearing version 2.
Cheers
W

I can't thank you guys enough for listening and constructive comments. I am reworking the whole song, problem is it has become a monster mix with 30 tracks and although all frozen I'm getting constant drop outs and I have to keep hot booting … A new computer me thinks LOL (I will repost when I think I've covered the bases)

Man, a lot of potential with this song.  Could not hear the bass and could barely make out some percussion activity somewhere underneath it all.  Seems to be all about the mix at this point, but I really dig the guitar sound and FX. Your vocals have that Floyd quality where the drama is contained in restraint, always a cool style in my book. 
 
Your song could have a great impact on emotion, I felt it happening as I was listening.  Just need to tighten up that mix and close the deal.  
 
Edit:  Just noticed you posted about reworking the song.  Can't wait to hear the update.  Good luck!
 

Keep on saying thanks for listening and the comments ... Cause I'm knocked out that you lot would spend so much time with it ... I have gone back to basics to try an sort this song out I will post when I think I've got it right.

THIS TIME No 2
Well I've tried to address what you guys have written and here is my 2nd attemt ... comments please http://spak1.bandcamp.com/track/this-time

Much better mix. Everything is now audible. The reverb on the lead vocal is a little harsh sounding, but if you turn it down a notch it might be okay. I hear that you are using L/R to separate what is many mixes would be F/R. It's an interesting effect...
 
Regards,
Dan
 

Last attempt This Time
 

You stole my title. I wannit back. My lawyer will be in touch.
 
How else can I make money in the music biz?!