whack
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"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
One of my mates approached me with a set of lyrics and asked me to put music to it. In fact it was my first real contracted bit of work! (albeit not for profit but finally I might actually be able to cover the expense of the many hours it goes into this stuff as you all know!) Anyway, it's an acoustic track centered around the fear associated with going on stage and thus, is called "The Play". The Play This is basically the final version ( a bit of tightening here and there). Let me know your thoughts on the mix and of course, by all means comment on the song itself. Cian
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bapu
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/13 18:33:35
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Very nice Cian.
Is that your melody?
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whack
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 07:46:41
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Hello Bapu,
Yea it is, he provided lyrics and I put a melody over it. Im guessing you feelin it being very similar to something, those verse chords do stand out (E - Am) and are on many pop songs.
Cian
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malcolmb
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 08:20:11
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A great piece of music that I could easily see being used in a stage musical. My only comment is trivial - on the words "fear away", I suggest you (and the backing) might go up instead of down until the very last chorus. Giving the backing a 'sweet' harmony on "way" would also help. This would give a nice lead-in to the next verse and keep the momentum going. A lovely piece of music.
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dkbender
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 09:07:09
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reallly nice!
agree with Malcomb on the 'fear away' up harmony.
The other thing I hear in my head whilst listening, is I can hear some very tasteful hammer dulcimer accents all along the way. Would love to hear that in this little gem.
Nice job!
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Rimshot
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 09:23:39
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Hi Cian,
Great job on the song, melody, and arrangement! You two work very well together. Here's some minor comments:
Split guitar somewhat right and piano left for a wider separation of instruments. The strings in stereo could then fill in the stereo image. On the 3rd verse, maybe drop out strings and drums to get very intimate for those lyrics and then build to the chorus.
None of this really matters because I think you already nailed it.
Rimshot
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notnat
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 10:22:46
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Very nice... sounds great to me...
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jamesyoyo
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 10:46:11
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Really good stuff, Cian. You have such a gift for melodies.
A couple of bum notes here and there, but I am sure you know them already.
I would think about re-doing the vocals, and really concentrate on adding some dynamics to them. While sung well and competently, they lack in drama, and based on my experience with you, I know you can do it proud.
The mix is kinda blah, to be honest. Once you are done, send it to me for a quick remix and it will shine.
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Lynn
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 11:16:12
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Cian, you did yourself proud with this. With just a minimum of rework per the suggestions above and this song is a hit. The two of you make a good combination. Encore!
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Thatsastrat
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 11:35:23
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Cian,
I really like the melody you have put together for this.
It has elements in it that remind me of Dr Hooks "A Little Bit More"
Nicely done.
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Guitarhacker
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 11:35:27
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My website & music: www.herbhartley.com MC4/5/6/X1e.c, on a Custom DAW Focusrite Firewire Saffire Interface BMI/NSAI "Just as the blade chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer "
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whack
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 15:19:07
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Thanks for all the replies.
malcomb: clarify that for me, you want all the "fear away's" to go up in melody but not the very last chorus? there are two "fear aways" in each chorus are you referring to the first,second or both?!
dkbender: im digging that instrument man, good idea.
Rimshot:thanks for your ideas, I actually have the piano and guitar slightly panned either way and the string should be in somewhat stereo. The third verse thing is certainly an idea, will have to consult my friend on it.
Jim:Yes there is a few bum notes that I do recognise. Thank you so much for your offer, once I pass it with the mate and we finalise it, I will without hesitation send it to you.
Lynn, Thatsastrat and Herb thanks for you time and comments.
Cian
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markno999
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 15:52:58
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Cian,
Nicely done, all the elements of great pop song. Like it a lot. I could envisiage a big David Foster'sih production behind this one. Well done.
Regards
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bandontherun19
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 17:36:25
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All you need is love, just ask the Beatles? ----------
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evadianepug
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 17:45:12
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Nice, easy tune to listen to. I think the vocalist is really good. Melody sounds great, you did a fine job, Cian.
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drumstixkev
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 20:23:17
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Hey Cian
Song really has a great flow. BRAVO!
Kev
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Scottytunes
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/14 21:33:04
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Great job on this song! I would suggest adding bass to it and some drum lead-ins to the choruses.
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ChuckC
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/15 07:42:19
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Nice job, I like all the vocal harmony. This has got a very theatrical stage kinda vibe to it.
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malcolmb
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/15 09:05:41
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Hi Cian - Sorry not to explain clearly (I claim no ability at writing lyric melodies (in fact I am dreadful at it!) - so pleased take my suggestion as that of a total amateur). Listening again, the way you treat the part of the song with backing at 0:50, 1:57 and 3:01 is the style of movement I was suggesting for "far away". Specifically at 1:08 and 2:09. And then leave the "far aways" as they are at 3:14 and 3:33.
I've played the piece a number of times now and keep changing my mind! My feeling suggests that you leave "No it doesn't take my fear away / Oh Oh / No it doesn't take my fear away" as it is and just change the backing melody "No it doesn't take my fear away" to give you the lead in to the next verse.
It sounds to me as if when you sing the word "way" before the backing does the repeat, that you are singing the root note of the key signature with the root chord (sorry, that is a bit difficult to explain - say the piece is in the key of C - you sing the note C on "way" while playing the chord of C on the guitar). Perhaps you could change the chord to F to avoid that feeling of 'finished' which would allow the backing to move upwards toward the start of the next verse.
Isn't it difficult to put a simple thought into words?!
I do hope this helps and frankly your piece is a thousand times better than anything I could ever write. If you want to talk more, please do not hesitate to PM me here.
Best Regards
Malcolm
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dkbender
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/15 09:32:03
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Re: the "fear away" vocal line descend Vs. Ascend.... I originally thought Malcomb was saying to ascend the vocal line. So, I just played along with your song and what I hear is instead of the vocal line descending... G#, F#, E.... Maybe the vocal line with "fear away" in it should ascend.... like, G#, A, B as the rest of it is doing G#, F#, E. Just a thought...
If this is too intruding, I apologize in advance!
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whack
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/16 17:43:14
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Thanks all for listening and commenting, mark,bandontherun,kev,warren, Scotty and chuck. Overall positive feedback.
malcomb, i understand melodically what your trying to say and It is a good idea actually. I feel it more on the backing line just before the start of each verse.
dkbender, not intruding at all, I get what you mean. Im gonna play with this a small bit to see if it sits nicely for me.
Thanks guys.
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dkbender
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/17 12:56:35
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Hi Cian, Well.... you have a wonderful song here and I'm glad you are willing to explore a bit more with it! Also, if you're able to find one, or someone to play for you, play around with the idea of some hammer dulcimer accents in the background. More ear candy. 
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Bob Oister
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/21 04:10:55
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Hi, Cian, This is absolutely fantastic! Excellent songwriting, great musical performances and amazing vocals and harmonies, as always. I also think the mix sounds right on the money for the genre. Top notch, my friend!  Bob
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whack
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Re:"The Play" - stage fright acoustic (My first contract!)
2012/02/21 07:53:01
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Ear candy is right, although finding something realistic maybe out of the question.
Thanks for dropping by Bob, looking forward to the next rock anthem!
Cian
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