The Way I Feel (Updated Mix - 2/11/2017)

Hi Goup..... Robin here.  Describing "W" brings forth feelings of anxiety because she was so unique
I feel I can never quite do her justice in the eyes of people who have never met her.  Anyone who knew her story was 
impressed by this woman's amazing ability to overcome adversity without collateral damage to her soul.  In short her mother was a heroin addict 
that pimped her out to men in exchange for drugs from the time she was 6 years old to 13. She was raped and beaten by her step brothers as well. 
Her father, the only one who would have protected her, died. Her mother overdosed when she was 13. And she was finally remanded to her paternal grandmother.
She had a genius IQ, she was talented and artistic. She was an old soul. She attempted suicide twice before her mother died. Both times I found her at school and called for help. 
 
The second time she finally told me what was going on and i took her to the school guidance counselor and the state was in the process of getting her case built to 
remove her. It was at that time her mother o.d.'d so there was nothing to fight anymore. Prior to that both of her older step brothers were also removed from her life. 
One by overdose and the other by prison where he was beaten to death.  "W" had a strong constitution within her to survive. Both psychologically and physically.  
She was not only strong emotionally but also very compassionate, wise and unbelievably positive. She feared nothing. 
 
Her husband and her started dating in high school and remarried each other three times throughout the years. They were inseparable and functioned like one person.  Early in their marriage when she found 
out the step brother who raped her, fathered a child that was in the court system, she and her husband took out loans to hire lawyers to adopt the little girl who they raised 
as their own. In "W's" mind this was a way to reverse the curse set upon her family.  She wanted to take this child out of a certain horrific future. Her and her daughter 
remained the closest a mother and daughter can be and because even after a year, her dad ("W's" Husband) is still falling apart without her and she has to run the business 
they built, had to handle all the memorial arrangements... everything. At 29 years old she's taken on her mother's incredible strength to survive and push through. 
But her husband is still crushed over the loss.
 
The space around "W" was a truthful, real and amazing place to be. Not only did she overcome the struggles of tragedy beating upon her, but she and her husband had become millionaires with property investing, she was an executive at Sirius Radio and a program director for one of the most celebrated networks on the west coast of Florida. She could do everything at once it seemed. She worked hard but always seemed to be on an adventure. Everyone who met her immediate knew she was something special even though they knew nothing about the horrors she overcame. she was not able to have children herself due to the physical scarring of what happened to her. But she advocated and helped people find children to adopt. She was also a brilliant writer... and at 40 she took up things like motor cross, skydiving, cross country skiing, kick boxing and painting to name a few... She was hilarious and the most entertaining person to be around. If angry she could reduce the smartest person to a pile of speechless mush in moments. But somehow managed to maintain their affection and gain even more respect.  She began fighting Lymphoma in 2010, and went all over the world getting treatments. She overcame the cancer, but her heart became so weak she finally passed away during a nap last year while they were fixing up a new property they obtained.  Since then there has been a wake of unshakable sadness her husband cannot escape.  She had a big all encompassing presence which is why her death was hard to accept for those who loved her.  She was the most unique person anyone who met her... ever met.   And I'm not even scratching the surface of this paragon.  Thanks for asking. [image]data:image/png;base64,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[/image]
 
Her are a few of her quotes:  "You have to harness life and make it your slave, because it isn't waiting for you in the car while you put your lipstick on"  she also said the reason nothing got to her was because "Reaction is the sincerest form of control, and winning means no one is going to have control".   There are so many.  She wasn't afraid to say ANYTHING. And she could... and always got away with it. Because she was always fair and always right.
 
The reason this song, which could never capture the magnitude of "W" is so important to Craig as the writer is because "W" absolutely LOVED his music and had him on her headphones playing in her ears all the time on her playlist. Including when they found her. Our compassion to honor the incredible void felt by her husband, and those who also have experienced significant loss is what drives the motivation for this little song embracing a giant part of life we all share at some point or another.   

Hi Dan,
 
You have done a great job with this piece, for sure.
 
By the sounds of it, you also had a great starting point.
 
A great song
 
cheers
 
andy

Good stuff Dan and nice song Craig.

synkrotron
Hi Dan,
 
You have done a great job with this piece, for sure.
 
By the sounds of it, you also had a great starting point.
 
A great song
 
cheers
 
andy

Thanks Andy! I thought so too...it was a fun project!
 
Regards,
Dan

daryl1968
Good stuff Dan and nice song Craig.

Thanks Daryl! I appreciate the comments!
 
Regards,
Dan

Thanks everyone for the nice comments on the song.  
 
Dan's arrangements really lifted the song to a place that  would not have been possible with guitar, bass and drums alone.  Thanks Dan for taking the time from your busy life and working with me.
 
Regards
Craig

Lynn
Spot on!  What a punch this makes.  Performances and production are top notch, and the songwriting is classic.  Congratulations all the way around, guys.

Thanks Lynn! I appreciate the kind words!
 
Regards,
Dan

This is such a heartfelt song, and so professionally produced, that I had to check that I was actually a member of the same forum as a major player in its formulation.
 
I can identify with the subject matter, as I think most people (unfortunately) can. This is a good thing in a song, though maybe not so much in real life.
 
Near the beginning, I worried that the song had reached its peak too early; that is, that the singer was going full throttle and there would be 3 1/2 more minutes of trying to push that emotional intensity. That fear was unfounded, though, as the intensity was dialed back somewhat and allowed to build again. 
 
Thanks for the great listen!
LJ

Dan
Boy, this is really good. The whole thing, the arrangement and all-around production sounds professionally done imo.

What a fantastically constructed song, nice mix. Having read the back story this is one powerful, emotional song. Well done guys you both should be proud of this one.

emeraldsoul
Did you guys catch that panned "windchime" at 2:33? Holy cow if I tried to do that it would sound like a drunk guy knocking milk bottles over. 
 
Really really great mix, Dan. All the good stuff was up front at the right times.
 
cheers,
 
-Tom

Thanks Tom!
 
Regards,
Dan
 

Lovely, stirring song. Downright anthemic. Great guitars. Keyboard/synth work I can only envy as I admire it. My wife loves it too, so it's unanimous. Great work, fellas.

bjornpdx
Dan
Boy, this is really good. The whole thing, the arrangement and all-around production sounds professionally done imo.

Thanks Bjorn! To be honest, the hardest part of the collaboration was deciding what direction to go in, lol.
 
Regards,
Dan

Powerful story, powerful song.    Simply excellent all around. 
 

biodiode
What a fantastically constructed song, nice mix. Having read the back story this is one powerful, emotional song. Well done guys you both should be proud of this one.

Thank you Adrian!
 
Regards,
Dan