Thoughts on a New Song: Wine o'Clock

OK you seem like a friendly and constructive bunch and I guess there's no point writing these songs if nobody hears them. I'm an occasional songwriter but I've been trying to finish this one for about two years. My piano chops are not the best so - hands up - this is built from EzKeys which will always split opinion but there it is; I'm not trying to dress it up as all my own playing or composition. However the lyrics and other instrumentation are my own hand and I did my best with the vocals (you can only work with what you're given). I was short on time so I know they can be better and yes, appalling mic technique I know. It really needs a female vocalist being a song about a single mum with a drink problem (inspired by a news story about working mums and their wine drinking habits).

Anyway, enough of my rattle, here's the link:

https://soundcloud.com/an...ne-oclock-full-version

All feedback appreciated. Andy

Thanks Allan, you're too kind. Yes reverb and a touch of delay covers a multitude of sins doesn't it. 🎤😊

Lyrics seem thoughtful, and I think the vocal performance is a keeper.
 
You've got the vocals panned pretty hard left? And the piano with chorus stuff panned right, pretty hard?
You might consider putting the vocals dead center so they can drive this bus.
 
Drums should come up a tad, particularly the snare. 
 
I like it! You have done well by this chord progression. I like the fade out, nice touch.
 
cheers,
-Tom

Try to place drums, bass, vocals in the middle (center).
Too much side panning is going on...
This is what I think.

A little remix regards the panning and some backing off of the vocal reverb I think you have a winner with this one.
 
Thanks for sharing.

Vocal is too muffled and waaaaaaaaaay too much reverb (IMO) and I luves me some reverb too.

This is such a sad song! But it's an old fashioned country music theme, and I'm not sure who could sing it properly these days, now that the great female singers of the 40s and 50s are gone. That said, extremely well-crafted lyrics. The bridge dives even deeper into sorrow, and I guess I would have wanted it to fly a little bit, at least musically if not in the lyrics. In my opinion the song deserves to be heard.

Excellent song!  The vocals bring emotion to some very excellent lyrics that tell a good story!  I'm a reverb/delay hog ---so, the verb that you used didn't bother me at all.  However, it would probably be better to take the advice given above by people that know what they are talking about.  Just a wee bit of panning and mix tricks and you definitely have a keeper.