Tragedy

I think I like the song Starise, but I'm getting a lot of distortion on the mix, especially on the drums and keys. Very hard to make an informed critique.

Sounds like it could be a good song Tim, but the mix is coming across very hissy in the top end and quite distorted.

I think it's got great potential as a song but the mix is rough and that makes it hard to listen to.  It's mixed extremely loudly and everything seems separated.  Are you mixing through cans or monitors?  Rather than use effects/compression/etc. on each track try putting the effects on the master bus and use them sparingly.  It will make for a more unified sound.
 
But I like the song.  It's good.

Y'know what's cool?  I happen to think you have a really good song on your hands.  Now you need to mix it.  It'll be cool to see what you can do!

Drums sound like they are in another room (to me).
 
Although the piano is the central instrument I think it's a bit too strong. It's crowding the vocals. 

a fine tune but you need to bring the vox up. WSS

Tim, I think you have a good foundation here, starting with the vocal performance; you have a great voice. Some mix and timing tweaks should really help bring it together. I'm no mixologist, myself, but this is what I'm hearing:
 
- The bass, kick and snare all need to come up, and the piano and cymbals (especially) need to come down.
- The kick might need some fattening - hard to say until the level is up.
- The piano rhythm might be stepping on the bass and kick and need to be syncopated a little to make room. 
- The vocal could also come forward a bit.
- The cymbal timing is a little shaky, exacerbated by being so prominent in the mix.
- I think the issue with the timing of the first verse is that "Really" starts on the second beat (as it should), but there's no strong hit on the downbeat before it from any of the instruments to establish the start of the bar. Based on what comes before an after, I'd expect to hear a strong piano chord there.
 
- Also, there's some meter weirdness between :53 and 1:02, starting with an early piano hit on the last 8th of the bar that should have been the downbeat of the next bar, and everything after that being early for a couple bars as a result. You might want to count through the whole thing, and see if that happens anywhere else. The phrasing of the lyric might need some adjustments in places.
 
Hope that helps. Good stuff. 
 

 
Thanks again guys.
 
I re recorded the vocals on this.Went to a different microphone. Sidechained some of the stronger instruments to compression mildly during vocal parts and changed a lot of levels.I also improved some of the timing.
 
Hope this is slightly better.
 
https://soundcloud.com/starise
 
 

great message Tim. Vocals are believable and well sung. Nice one mate

+1 on the good stuff.  Piano is still too hot imho.  Everything behind the piano sounds more balanced.

Tim, this mix sounds pretty good to me.  I hear a good balance between instruments and vocals.  Actually, the mix is good enough that the timing problems with the drums are quite clear.  I think if you pay attention to the timing, at this point, this song will come together and be a gem.

I think these other guys have given you far better ideas than I could concerning the mix, but as for the song itself, I really liked it!!  I found the lyrics very provocative and insightful, and your voice is a good match to the song.
 
I hope you much success with your music!!