ruralrocker2010
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Unholy War - Acoustic
Guys & Gals, I wrote this today and it's not a final production. It's still in the idea stage. But shoot, whatever. I thought it might best to get some feedback from musicians. I'm just playing along and singing. So no real need to critique pitch or production. Mostly looking for feedback on the flow, melody and feel of the song. http://soundcloud.com/joshua-barnes/unholy-war http://soundcloud.com/joshua-barnes/unholy-war-2 - this time I played them separate. And the results were better and some other mistakes presented themselves as well. But I also played to a click - so hopefully it can be reused in the future. Any thoughts on structure or anything you want to add to the song writing process, I'd love to hear.
post edited by ruralrocker2010 - 2012/03/11 20:01:21
Joshua Barnes Sonar Platinum / RME UCX / i5 3.2 8 GB Memory (Dell Inspiron) / Komplete 10 / Win 7 Home 64 Bit
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Lynn
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Re:Unholy War - Acoustic
2012/03/11 11:26:26
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I don't know if this is what you want to hear, but this could be a good song if it were a step or so lower. It doesn't seem to be in your voice's range, but you asked not to comment on the vocal so that's all I will say. In spite of having only voice and guitar, I'm still having trouble understanding all your lyrics. The song itself is catchy, and I do like the melody and hook. BTW, Shawnee man, I just live across the state line, so, hello neighbor. I look forward to hearing more of this in the future.
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ruralrocker2010
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Re:Unholy War - Acoustic
2012/03/11 11:33:55
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RE: Speed
Is the chorus just to fast? Meaning, the meter? Or is the overall tempo just too fast?
RE: Range
Too high, too low? What leads you to that conclusion?
RE: Lyrics
I understand. I think that's unfortunately part of my style and it's a critique I get often. But I'm simply going to have to ask people to read the cd insert if they want to know what I'm saying. : )
RE: Shawnee
Yeah, I've seen you post on here before. I lurk a bunch but haven't been commenting lately. I've not posted anything in a long time. I'm doing a ton of song writing now, so I'll be posting more. I'm hoping to work with this community to shape some ideas and get that final production advice when my songs get to that point.
Joshua Barnes Sonar Platinum / RME UCX / i5 3.2 8 GB Memory (Dell Inspiron) / Komplete 10 / Win 7 Home 64 Bit
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Lynn
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Re:Unholy War - Acoustic
2012/03/11 12:20:22
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Since you asked, I think the song is a step or two too high for your voice. It sounds like you're straining to hit the high notes. As for understanding the lyrics, I think once you get this song in right key for your voice that problem will clear itself. If you value your lyrics, then make them understood without having to use a lyric sheet. The best to you.
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Thatsastrat
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Re:Unholy War - Acoustic
2012/03/11 13:15:04
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Lynn
Since you asked, I think the song is a step or two too high for your voice. It sounds like you're straining to hit the high notes. As for understanding the lyrics, I think once you get this song in right key for your voice that problem will clear itself. If you value your lyrics, then make them understood without having to use a lyric sheet. The best to you.
+1 Nuff said!
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ruralrocker2010
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Re:Unholy War - Acoustic
2012/03/11 14:01:56
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I did ask but now I'm concerned that I'm not sure what you hear as "straining". Thing is, I didn't agree with the criticism, since this is barely mid-range for me, but I believed you heard something and I wanted to know what that was. As a person who really understands straining, I don't hear what you hear. I'm wondering if you're hearing my compressed distortion as straining. The sound that goes from 'clear' and breathy do distorted is on purpose.
Lyrically, there is much that could be cleared with EQ. This is unprocessed. It's just a mic and compressor and whatever color that signal chain offers. I am going to record it today more slowly and see if I like the results.
Thanks again!
Joshua Barnes Sonar Platinum / RME UCX / i5 3.2 8 GB Memory (Dell Inspiron) / Komplete 10 / Win 7 Home 64 Bit
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ruralrocker2010
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Re:Unholy War - Acoustic
2012/03/11 14:03:49
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I should add, it IS possible that there's a lack of good breath support. I don't necessarily 'hear' that, but that could be what you're hearing. I didn't warm up before recording this song, I was still in the scratch pad phase.
Joshua Barnes Sonar Platinum / RME UCX / i5 3.2 8 GB Memory (Dell Inspiron) / Komplete 10 / Win 7 Home 64 Bit
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Lynn
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Re:Unholy War - Acoustic
2012/03/11 14:37:10
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Hey Joshua, without knowing your vocal range I may be off course. Anyway, I think you have the kernel of a good song, and I await your next version. ruralrocker2010
I did ask but now I'm concerned that I'm not sure what you hear as "straining". Thing is, I didn't agree with the criticism, since this is barely mid-range for me, but I believed you heard something and I wanted to know what that was. As a person who really understands straining, I don't hear what you hear. I'm wondering if you're hearing my compressed distortion as straining. The sound that goes from 'clear' and breathy do distorted is on purpose.
Lyrically, there is much that could be cleared with EQ. This is unprocessed. It's just a mic and compressor and whatever color that signal chain offers. I am going to record it today more slowly and see if I like the results.
Thanks again!
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BenMMusTech
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Re:Unholy War - Acoustic
2012/03/11 19:31:44
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Ok once again a good job, I can hear what Lynn is saying about not quite reaching the high notes. I suppose you play and sing at the same time??
If you could lay the just the guitar down and then sing song, you could import the guitar into Reaper, then use the Varispeed to change the pitch of the song say half a tone down. Once you have nailed the vocal return it normal speed and bang you have the vocal perfect. Old Beatles trick.
Reaper costs nothing even after the 30 day expiry period, all you can pay $40.
Varispeed is an important tool and certinaly worth 40 bucks.
Peace Ben
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