"Washed Away" (Contemporary Christian) [UPDATED]

Well crappy weather today - ice and snow - so took advantage of being stuck at home and did a new recording! This is a song I plan on having my church band play (hopefully). Don't worry - I won't be the singer! - just the bass player. Some of you know I'm not a singer but I'm trying!! Also this is the first song I've recorded with my new acoustic (Takamine) - it's a jumbo body and I'm still working on the best way to mic it but I thought it turned out pretty good.

Anyway, I'd appreciate any feedback and suggestions!

Here is the link - it's called "Washed Away"

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7468361

Dave

www.soundclick.com/steakbone

Dave... I'm getting an error loading songfile...

Same here. lofi and hifi

DITO!

Dave, this is very nice. The mix seems a bit too up front - I'm not sure why - it could be the bass and the acoustic guitar.

I love the message - very nice vocals - well written.

Nice tune.

Well, I do not know quite what to say. This is not up to your usual standards IMO.

This is a good song. Some production would do this a great deal of good. The dissonance Jimmy was talking about ...I agree.

It's OK to do a slow song... but it shouldn't feel like it's plodding.....

The recording itself was pretty good for a thrown together rough draft on a snowy day. Now, refine it.

Nice, very relaxing. I like the simple organ gluing it together.

Well Jimmy playing a G on bass during the C9 chord just didn't sound right to me. But for now I did slap on a new bass line not playing the D during the C9 because I agree it was giving it a dissonent sound that didn't quite go with with the vibe of the song. I'll redo it after I worked something out a little better. I've uploaded a new mix on Soundclick if you want to let me know what you think. I also changed the synth pad sound (before I saw your post Robby!) and ditched the synth intro. Again, open to input if you think it sounded better before...

James I'm glad you liked it -maybe you were just better prepared because you've heard my singing before!

Dave

www.soundclick.com/steakbone

Hey Dave.
A GREAT structured song with a hook that sticks. Love the bass line and the performance is tight, sounds live. I like your vox, it would be nice to hear like a choir in this piece. Looking forward to see what you do with this. KUDOS, my friend!

LATER
Kev

wow what a differrence the new bass made. just wow! yea
staying on the C on the C9 was the trick. maybe the 5th wasnt for
this tune.

now i got something else to ponder. at 0:23 the bass and drums
do licks as if they are going to continue but stop at about 0:26
this leaves me hanging.

it sounds like at 0:23 the bass aad drums should just sustane
so the dropout isnt abrupt. generally speaking when an instrument
is going to drop out it shouldnt build before doing so.

wow you did great!
jimmy

Jimmy - thanks man I'm glad you could see the potential in the first version and pushed me to find a better bass line. I'll take a look at the other part you're mentioning too...

Thanks Shad - I appreciate you taking a second listen and glad you like it better now! I can imagine the hook with some nice male/female harmonies that I think will sound really nice.

Dave

www.soundclick.com/steakbone

Dave,

I'm with some of the others that said this song has plenty of production potential.

There's a lot of harmonies that could be utilized also. I think this could be one of your best with the right production and "feel".

Good song.

Jeff

Dave, I thought I had commented on this tune already but guess I missed it...
To me, the production and performances are fine, but the tune seems a little somber for the subject... The mix sounds very good to me... Vocals are a little pitchy but only in a few places...
Well done...

Mark - I'm not sure how much my singing is getting better or if I'm just getting better at using V-Vocal! This key is a little easier to sing in for me and with V-Vocal I've learning the trick of using the formant control to make the pitch shifting seem more natural.

Jeff - thanks for your comments! I still listen to the blues songs we did with Mark and Larry on a regular basis and they've been added to enough Soundclick stations that they still get quite a few plays...

Thanks, Tap! Hopefully this weekend I will work on a few minor clean-up issues with the mix but I kind of like the "live" feel it's got so I probably won't polish it up too much.

Notnat - I appreciate the comments on the performances and mix! The first verse and pre-chorus were definitely meant to be somber. I tried to make some changes to the 2nd verse and then build it from there to have it start building and becoming more uplifting. Maybe I will look at changing the synth pad sound starting with the 2nd verse.

Philip - your comments mean a lot and that is probably the nicest, most rewarding post I've received to any of my song postings so thank you so much. A lot of P&W songs do seem pretty contrived like they are following a formula. This song may or may not be something we end up playing in church service - but we do tend to play songs like this during times in the service like the offering or communion. I don't normally listen to Contemporary Christian music when I'm not at church, but through the songs our band plays I've discovered some good songs out there; I especially like quite a few of the Casting Crowns songs. But anyway, thank you again for your kind words. By the way I struggle writing lyrics to songs but these came to me in about 10 minutes with some minor tweaks when it came time to record it...

Dave

www.soundclick.com/steakbone