What's the biggest spider you've seen

You win.

I believe it was one of these, or some thing very similar.  Bright golden on the back and about 4"-5" in diameter.  I was weed eating in the back yard a few years ago when it came out of the weeds and ran up our wooden fence.  I had to go inside and clean up my undershorts.
 

Michael,
 
Brings back fond memories. The only thing that didn't have me drop dead of fear was that the Midnapoor monsters were like garden spiders. Bright colors. Way too big.
 
Was a kind of standoff. The first spider was hissing at me. Hi pitched chirp warning me not to wander into the web. Later figured out that it saw me as too big to wrestle with. Cutting its losses if we had to tangle. Standoff. My two eyes staring into about 8 red eyes and dripping fangs ready to attack.
 
Was later transferred to Africa to do missionary work and save the heathens down there.
 
The spiders were only about as big as your hand, but more a vision right out of hell. They liked to set up shop in showers. You learned to be cross eyed. One eye on the one water outlet. Another on the spider, hoping you didn't splash it and make it fall down on you.  Brr....
 
Sweet dreams to all,
 
John

They get some big ones in Australia...
 
http://www.dailymail.co.u...ggest-spider-EVER.html

Thanks for the reminder to get my flame thrower juiced up for spider season

Not as big as John's but plenty big enough Camel Spiders were very common in Arabia. At night if you approached one it would try to take cover in your shadow giving the impression it was coming for you.
 
Urban legend is one would always beat a scorpion in a fight and bating apparently took place. I never saw it myself but I have been told the scorpion always won.
 
 

DrLumen
The one spider that surprised me more than others, I came across a spider in the garage. I'm 6'2" and about 250# and this little $**t (about an inch and a half in diameter including the length of the legs) was standing firm with the legs raised ready to attack. Later, I found out it was a Parson's spider. He lost that encounter but I have to admire it as he had some balls!

Actually, he was trying to convert you. 

bapu
Those Spiders From Mars were pretty big
(back in the day)
 
Of course it was all Ziggy's fault

Bass player blaming the guitarist. 
 
Never heard that one before. 

Another story, re DrLumen's decision not to stomp them out...
 
Was doing my pharmacy thing behind a Rite Aid counter in Lincoln City, OR. About 2001.
 
Was new on the block and my veteran pharmacy tech suddenly got sever agitated over something. She started babbling hi speed to someone on the other side of the counter. Said I was the new pharmacist and was dying to meet her. The tech said she had to go to the bathroom and took off like a bat out of hell. I was being set up...
 
The lady was a pure nut case. Psycho **** fixated on every ailment known to humanity. Problem was that it wasn't her that was sick, it was her dog she projected everything on to. She would come to the pharmacy with the latest ailment for her dog and want over the counter medicines to give the dog as a suppository. She would load up with chemicals and head back to cram them up the dog's ass. Poor creature.
 
Would experience a cold shudder every time she showed up because there was a lunatic 30 minute minimum tirade ahead, and the customer is always right. Piss her off and you could be fired. Work piled up as you concentrated on the poor dog's ass.
 
About Hobo spiders. Last thing I would want to be bitten by. Same venom as the brown recluse. In nature, they strike and retreat as the bug is dissolved internally. The spider comes back a few minutes later for a tasty milkshake.
 
Does the same thing to humans. Gross disfigurations at best. Loss of limbs and death maybe. Cuts off circulation to the area and dissolves proteins for the next meal. Body part where the bite happened can rot off.
 
One day the lady came in and said she didn't feel too good. She dropped her pants in the middle of public and her legs had a couple hundred red bite marks.
 
She lived in a trailer with her dog. She saw spiders coming thru the floor. Checked under the trailer and there were several nests of Hobo's in the wood debris.
 
Her response was to rip up the floor boards. Stripped herself naked and went on a stomping spree.
 
First time she ever asked for something for herself and not for the dog.
We told her to get the hell to the ER immediately (for whatever they could do)
 
Never saw her again. Outcome was not too good.
 
John
 

Hobo's...
 
Interesting creatures if not creepy.
Regarded as being aggressive, but not true. They are shy and afraid of humans and will only bite if cornered.  2 bites out of 3 will be "dry" meaning bitten but no venom. Bad luck however to the one out of three.
 
Aggressive nature is mistaken for their poor vision. They look like they are charging across the floor at you but it's because they can't see you. On the males, looks like a huge set of fangs coming at you. These are their testicles on their head, talk about sex on the brain...
 
Up here in the Oregon outback, we got the Hobo and the Yellow Sac with necrotic toxin about a third as deadly as the Hobo. Not as bad, but still a bummer if bit.
 
Advice is to keep your bed 6 inches from the wall and any bedding 6 inches off the floor. Hobo's can't navigate too well on slick surfaces so may not be able to crawl in bed with you. I have on a couple occasions turned down the bedding and there is a Hobo waiting for you to roll over on it. They also like the inside of shoes and coats in closets if they have been left there for some time.
 
Slick bathroom sinks and tubs. They get in but have a hard time getting up the wall so you got to on occasion exterminate the bathroom fixtures.
 
Scary as hell, but all a part of Allah's creation.
 
John
 
 

craigb
If you really want to get creeped out, type in "World's Largest Spider" into Google.  I've got the heeby jeebies now!

Gee thanks a lot Craig .
I was on my way to the bathroom and before I went I typed in "World's Largest Spider" into Google.
Now I think I will just hold it in for a while .

Kenny

Holy Crap... Win 7 repair with over 200 updates. All I want is to bang on the music and have it work. Several hour ordeal ahead.
Idle time so just to throw out something on spider bites that may be of use. Just file away on the back burner until needed and hope that it will never be needed.
 
Spider poison, snake poison, about anything equipped with poison falls somewhat clean into one of two categories. The things that attack the nerves and things that rot out the local area. Prototypes would be like a Black Widow for nerve toxin and the Brown Recluse for rotting our flesh locally.
 
If faced with a choice, would way want to be bitten by a Black Widow. Several days of hell but a recovery and possible infection at the bite site.
 
The proteolytic poisons of the Brown Recluse, Hobo, are a miracle drug that cuts off circulation to the area as the proteins are dissolved to drink later.
 
Was observed that if you got nuked by a Hobo, the amount of fat in the area of the bite was a big determinant in how bad your road ahead was. More fat, more grave the outcome.
 
The docs will try to treat the bite first with two agents. "Cephalosporin" antibiotics to keep the rot from spreading to your body and brain. Steroids to reduce inflammation and damage, although there is not good evidence that the steroids have any survival value. Next option is to surgically cut out the area or amputate the limb if the first option fails.
 
So here's my spin on it...
 
Get the poison out of the bite area as quick as you can, as soon as you realize you are about to lose something. Traditional treatment keeps the poison in the area and tries to treat the symptoms as the body rots.
 
Go to the local hardware store and get some cheap MEK paint thinner. (not named properly, but okay for Methyl Ethyl Ketone).
Reason fat areas suffer worse is that the toxin diffuses into fat rich areas, as it is an oily substance. Get bitten in the butt and you are way more in trouble than if bitten in the hand.
 
Apply MEK to the bite area and surrounding area a couple inches out. Rub in and after a minute or so, wash the area. Let dry and it will look a pasty white because oils have been removed. Repeat the process every 20 minutes for 6 times.
 
Have been able to halt verified invenomations leading to necrosis by this method.
 
Applies to poison ivy, poison oak as well. In my aircraft fix it days, we were often trying to salvage a plane in the bush down in a swamp of poison ivy. As soon as the itch started, do the MEK nuke and no rashes. Same principle. Urushiol, allergen in oak, ive, sumac is fat soluble. Wash it out of the skin and no problem. The old aircraft mechanics were way ahead of the doctors.
 
Note that "Technu" over the counter stuff makes a refined mineral spirit extractor. Works okay, but would want to save my leg with hardcore rotgut MEK.
 
John
 
Only about a hundred updates left for Win 7. Keep me in your rosary beads.