bayoubill
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Woes Of Elderly Living (Now With Current Events)
XX asked me at breakfast time, "Would you like some Becan and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" I declined. “Thanks for asking, but, I'm not hungry right now. "It's this Viagra," I said. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime, XX asked me if I'd like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?" I declined again. "The Viagra," I said, "really trashes my desire for food." Come dinner time, XX asked if I want anything to eat. Anything! "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?" And I declined yet again. "No," I says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry." "Well," XX says, "Would you mind letting ME up? I'm starving."
post edited by bayoubill - 2018/03/21 17:13:25
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optimus
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/20 03:02:37
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Sonar Platinum, Cakewalk by Bandlab, Roland Octacapture, Windows 7, i5 processor, 8 Gb RAM, X_Touch
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57Gregy
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/20 19:04:49
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☄ Helpfulby bayoubill 2018/03/20 19:39:41
Better call a doctor! That seems like it would be a lot more than 4 hours!
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Linear Phase
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/20 20:42:59
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too many lasers...  Sonar = audio editing ninja of a music software!
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bayoubill
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/21 17:18:25
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☄ Helpfulby Voda La Void 2018/03/21 17:42:47
While having lunch at the neighborhood diner, bayoubill leans over and asks his wife, XX "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?" We went behind the Football Stadium bleachers where you leaned against the back fence and I made mad passionate love to you." Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?' "Oh bayoubill, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the stadium and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and bayougbill drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, bayoubill moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?' Shaking, bayoubill is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
post edited by bayoubill - 2018/03/21 19:12:32
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kennywtelejazz
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/21 20:50:47
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 Kenny
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Beepster
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/21 21:20:56
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Many MANY moons ago when I was still a sexy young twink ready to be used and abused by hot "older" women (older to me at the time meaning approaching 30yo lol) my buddy had scored a mountain of free beer and knew that I was exactly the guy who could sell it for him.
Well let's just say I met this one girl shortly after that and we did not leave the apartment for two whole days... and the only reason we did was because the only thing we had consumed during that period was the beer I was supposed to be selling... and perhaps some water and... ur... vegetables of the smoking variety.
Ah to be 19 again.
Wait... scratch that. I was a crazy person living amongst even CRAZIER people. I'll just stick to my rose colored memories of that time period.
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Beepster
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/21 21:27:28
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PS: I'm sure some of you older gents have much more impressive marathon tales from the 60's/70's but by the late 90's only idiots did coke/speed.
*taps chest*
Pure... Beepster.
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ampfixer
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/21 21:59:23
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☄ Helpfulby jude77 2018/03/23 01:19:03
Take it from me, the 70's was a sleazy decade. Nothing to be missed and none of the hippy magic that the 60's provided. And lets not forget that it was the decade that gave us platform shoes, wide ties and polyester.
Regards, John I want to make it clear that I am an Eedjit. I have no direct, or indirect, knowledge of business, the music industry, forum threads or the meaning of life. I know about amps. WIN 10 Pro X64, I7-3770k 16 gigs, ASUS Z77 pro, AMD 7950 3 gig, Steinberg UR44, A-Pro 500, Sonar Platinum, KRK Rokit 6
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Beepster
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/21 22:13:58
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ampfixer
Take it from me, the 70's was a sleazy decade. Nothing to be missed and none of the hippy magic that the 60's provided. And lets not forget that it was the decade that gave us platform shoes, wide ties and polyester.
Many of my friends over the years have been 80's punks/metalheads/rockers that were essentially teens in the 70's (and also a good chunk of old hippies/bikers from the 60's). Yeah. I gotta say, even though I appear to have been respawned at the incorrect time locale I'm not sure I would change it. Despite being a bit of a pervy chucklefart I very much dislike "sleaze"... as well as "chemical" drugs. Those friends of mine were the survivors of those eras. Literally half of their friends were dead from OD's (and for the 80's folks quite a few AIDS deaths from needle use). Them, their battles with addiction and tales of the carnage most definitely worked on keeping me RIGHT the heck away from all that crap. Certainly a lot more than friggen' frying egg on the TeeVeez. Also... How ya doin', ampy?
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Beepster
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/21 22:16:20
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Oh and the weird thing is though I have had MANY of the old timers tell me I remind them of the original 70's punks. I guess a little more arty/nerdy/spazzy than the more militant/comformist 2nd wave.
Jokes on them though. I'm just a freaking weirdo!
:-p
Edit: Wow... I can parsing! Derp.
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57Gregy
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/22 14:14:34
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ampfixer
Take it from me, the 70's was a sleazy decade. Nothing to be missed and none of the hippy magic that the 60's provided. And lets not forget that it was the decade that gave us platform shoes, wide ties and polyester.
And the Mustang II.
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MandolinPicker
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/22 17:48:31
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The Mandolin Picker "Bless your hearts... and all your vital organs" - John Duffy "Got time to breath, got time for music!"- Briscoe Darling, Jr. Windows 8.1, Sonar Platinum (64-bit), AMD FX 6120 Six-Core, 10GB RAM
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bayoubill
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/22 23:19:00
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I had a Plymouth Magnum GTX 440 in 71' and a Shelby Mustang in 2011 then a
van down by the river in 2012 - 2017
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bayoubill
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/22 23:23:01
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Now I have a Ram 1500 truck and a  Camery lxe
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Jyotishvarii
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/23 02:02:23
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So what are we driving in and where are we headed in the rig
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bayoubill
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/23 16:12:04
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bayoubill
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/24 14:40:08
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☄ Helpfulby Voda La Void 2018/03/25 13:46:48
An elderly couple was driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.
The officer said, “Mam, did you know you were speeding?”
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?”
The old man yelled, “He says you were speeding!”
The patrolman said, “May I see your license?”
The woman turned to her husband once again and asked, “What did he say?”
The old man yelled, “He wants to see your license!”
The woman gave the officer her license. The patrolman then said, “I see you are from Premont,Texas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen.”
The woman turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?”
The old man yells, “He said he thinks he knows you!”
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eph221
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Re: Woes Of Elderly Living
2018/03/25 22:33:38
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☄ Helpfulby bayoubill 2018/03/25 23:03:00
I go to 7-11 and there are guys walk-in around with post Viagra boners. It's pretty common these days. I guess they go home and get seconds.
*Q-TIPS ARE FUZZY!!* Is a lumineer a new dental appliance? i7 2.5 ghz 32GB RAM WINDOWS 10 My Ass Cubase 9.5
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