Wrong Place, Wrong Time - new PlanRed song UPDATED!

Beautiful song! I love the chord progressions. Nice tune. I love the piano too. Nice job!

Personally I didn't like the synth in the intro. Or at least not as loud as it is. I would check the timing at 2:15. Something starts to lag there I think.

But good job. It would sound nice with just keys and vocals, but this is nicely done.

ORIGINAL: mgh

Hey Guys and Gals

I realise I have been more of a taker than a giver later, but I pray your indulgence one more time, and I promise I'll be back on the critiquing circuit this weekend...
Anyhow,

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=725243&content=music

new song time. A piano-led ballad, this tune has been gestating for a while, I wanted a just piano and vox version but Ste wanted some more stuff, so here ya go...the lyrics are really good, Ste never knew his father, really, and this really comes across...I lost my dad 18 months ago and I can relate too...

Usual stuff, any pros/cons gratefully received.

Phew, some deeply personal lyrics there Mark, a real catharsis. A nicely arranged song with some neat touches. I think you were right though; on balance a piano/vox treatment would have done just as well.

WOW, some very nice writing on this tune. I do think I hear some time issues with the drums. I do have to agree with you also Mark, a piano and vox would make this song more deep and personable. All in all this is just a GREAT tune that I truly enjoyed. GREAT JOB!

I really like your voice. It has a sorrowful quality, like that Coldplay guy. The pitch issues are there, but not terribly out of place, if you know what I mean. A voice like yours works cuz it dances around the notes, right on the edge.
The delay on the vox at 1:17 should go. Doesn't work and distracts from the feel of the song. Not in love with the guitar tone.

One structure issue: it is about 45 seconds too long.

Like the sentiment, love most of this song.

... Didn't here the first version. Sorry.

I did not read the others, but I disagree with "a bit more as certain notes are stepping on each other", they fit well to my ears.

Vox is extremely well-recorded (this time), to my ears. You've really progressed in leaps and bounds.

This is now my 2nd favorite of yours. The chorus is so-very-sweet and melodic: the voice register cracks at 3:25 (fix that ASAP). This song has wonderful synth work which I'd love to see boosted about a decibal.

Phenomenal piece! I can sink deeply into this.

Nice job Mark - you added an acoustic guitar part for the intro (I think that's new) , which is a nice touch. I like the bass lines you added as well.

Sounds great. For me this is #2 after "Medicine For My Mind".

Hey, I like the guitar in the intro! :-)

Hey, Mark - I didn't hear any of the previous versions. there's a weird sound at the very beginning - almost like the sound I get from the reverb tails at the end of a mixdown.

really nice vocals on this. nice piano, too, but there are just a couple places which are a little off tempo. the guitars are overpowering the vox when they kick in, tho, I'd back them down a little. very cool oscillating synth.

I really like this! nice work!

Mark, I like this version much more. Very tasty acoustic guitar on the intro and the whole thing 'sits' better. Really like your string arrangement too, nice work.

Great vocal tone, very dark lyrics, they certainly make impact. I agree drums need to come up and there are some vocal/drum timing conflicts in places. The song got a little wordy for me, like there was no real chorus, just many verses. While this normally wouldn't bother me the music is very dynamic and it feels like it is leading you into chorus parts, but they sound like verses when they arrive. I didn't want to bash the song as it does so many things right but I would have preferred a more memorable chorus as I think the arrangement is begging for it.

Very touching, very beautiful song. I'm not sure that monophonic synth fits with the beautiful nature of this song, the singing and the piano and orchestra have really sentimental feel. We the guitars and strings come in, they seem to crowd the vox a little? Maybe some panning and or keep the volume down a little bit more on those parts? Very sad, very touching, very well written.

Not having heard the original version, I can only say I like what I heard here. Ste sounds like Mark Knopfler at times.

Really great song, passionate singing.

Cheers
Shad

ORIGINAL: Mamabear

What??!!!

Nothing.. nothing at all... carry on

Bobby - thanks for stopping by, i don't agree with you but that's your opinion. You make some valid points about overhotting the pudding, so to speak.

Reece - yeah a few people have mentioned the tempo at points, i'll have to get me audiosnap out i think...

Ron - it's my mate ste who does the singing. His voice is rough around the edges but it is distinctive. Hopefully you got the Brian stuff...

james - thanks for relistening. i also think tis better.

jamz - nice to see you popping in a bit more lately! You always have some great ideas. I'll take a look at the durms, it's session drummer 2, played thru a mix of loops and step-sequenced patterns. I've got it all compresssed and eq'd separately, but i'll have to tweak aroudn some.

Ed - yeah it's an unusual structure, i had it as verse 1, bridge, verse 2, chorus x2, verse 3/outro, but how Steve sings it it doesn't almost come across like that. the song IS wordy, but boy i love those words, they tell a story. yep, i'll be looking at drums!

Philip - How much do i owe you??!! yep, but that's why we post 'em here, to get that 'tough love' and hopefully improve!

Robby - that synth was at the beginning of the original version, and was too prominent, hence why i replaced it, but i do like it, especially at the end...funny how you want it lowering and Philip wants it increasing!!! Thanks for listening!

Shad - thanks for stopping by! Janet is getting feisty now!!