Your Kindness (now with video)

I'd love any mix critiques or song/arrangement ideas. 
 
Newer mix with a Youtube video: I messed with stuff based upon suggestions, many thanks!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WX7zBZv0JbY
 
 
 
 
Old mix: 
https://soundcloud.com/songsbytom-com/your-kindness
 
 
thanks,
-Tom

What a lovely song. From around 1:42 to the end, it is excellent. You have a great voice and the instrumentation is wonderful. My only quibble would be the flute-like sound at the beginning up to 1:42. My speakers are not the best (nor are my ears!) but the flute sound seems distorted and rather invasive. If you changed it to a very quiet solo violin, that might work. But what do I know! Great song.
 

Tom
Wow, I'm in a pretty good mood now after listening to your song.
Really like the melody a lot.

A couple of things I thought of while listening:
The drums seemed too loud and distracted me a bit.
Beautiful piano with nice chord transitions. I noticed a slight hesitation around 0:44.
Totally loved the guitar.
Bit surprised when the vocal started. I'd assumed the whole thing was instrumental. Whatever.
Violin plucks (?) during the vocal didn't work for me.
I'd probably end the song with the same piano as at the beginning.

Wonderful song. Thanks.

This is a really beautiful song.  The timing of the intro of various instrumentation and vocals is very good.  Lyrics and vocals are excellent.  I agree with the comments about the drums above but they certainly don't distract from the song.
 

Well, I like the glass harmonica, and the drums. The only problem I see is that the glass harmonica never wavers or modulates in any way. It needs some movement...
 
I'd maybe push the drums back into the mix a bit so that they sound like they are in the same room as the orchestra.
 
As others have said, it's a really long intro to where the vocal begins. I'd shorten the intro by moving the guitar solo into the middle somewhere.
 
You should add some bass pizzicato to the violin pizzicato you've already done, I've found that makes it sit better.
 
All around, very sweet!
 
Regards,
Dan
 
 
 
 

markno999
Tom,
 
Really great song.   Really liked it.   Just some minor observations, the stick  (rim shot) is a little loud throughout, I might tame that a little and put a hair more verb on it.  Also not a fan of the glass harmonica intro, a soft violin as already mentioned or an Irish Whistle would sound really good as an alternative.  The first couple Pizz plucks I thought I was hearing a glitch in the recording.  I would consider removing them or replacing them with something different as they are a bit distracting....    The rest of the orchestration is really awesome.  The vocals are nicely done too.      No significant suggestions, I think what you have done is really outstanding work.

Regards

Agree with Mark, those are the things that jumped out me. It's a really beautiful song though Tom, loved the dreamy outro....
 
...and the mood is smashed to bits by Soundcloud going straight into a Snoop Dog rap..I HATE THE WAY THEY DO THAT!!

Thanks, everyone - those are some helpful observations. You folks are awesome.
 
Bjorn, thank you - I too noticed that one late piano note, but I was going to leave it in, so the whole arpeggio thing didn't sound too perfect. But now, I'm a gonna change it! Good call.
 
markno999 - great ears you have. remix is in progress, although I'm actually a big fan of the pizzicato so I'm going to find a way to make them work! An Irish tin whistle might be pretty cool as well . . .
 
Freddy J - thanks for the comments, particularly on the lyrics, I tried to go for a "less is more" approach, which seems to work. Usually I go the other way . . .   
 
kzmaier - thank you - the "too bright" mix is something I worried about, too, and I was going to add a proper bass guitar part. I might go in and heavy up the low strings, I think it could use that. And towards the end, it gets pretty sparkly, I'll admit. 
 
Dan, yeah I'm going to bring out a chorus for that glass harmonica. It might to help mellow it, too, because some find it grating.  The intro is too long, but I was thinking "extended Pink Floyd instrumental chill-out" and I ended up getting "too damn long intro"   :)     Good idea on adding some bass pizzicato, I never would have thought of that. many thanks!
 
Philz - thanks very much! Duly noted on the long intro, and thanks for the compliments in the vocals!
 
Jamesg1213 - I'll work on thos pizz plucks! And I will definitely talk to Soundcloud about that! Oddly enough, I just got a phone call from Snoop's people, they want me to open for him next show. I dunno, I'm kinda busy . . . thank you, glad you liked the song!
 
Daryl1968 - hey thanks, I'm just trying to keep up with you! You always post the cool schizz. As you can see, I'm working on being relatable.  :)
 
cheers,
-Tom
 
 

Beautifully done Tom.  The intro was a tad long for my tastes and I'm not a fan of the 'pan flute' sound.  Your vocal is very nice -- heartfelt.  The vocal and melodic delivery on the verses remind me of something Nashville writer Hugh Prestwood might write.  The entire mix was balanced and pleasing -- I really liked the slight 'swing' on the drums.  Good stuff  !!  
 
Allan
=-=-=
 

Tom, beautiful piece of work, melody, arrangement and voice, just beautiful.
However, I was a little disturbed by the guitar. While the line was lovely, the tone I found ... just too buzzy. Maybe that's what you intended.
At 3.05, where you have strings doing a sort of refrain and seem to morph into an oboe gave me goose bumps. It bought to mind a phrase in Ravel's Adagio were the oboe plays a similar phrase. If you get the opportunity, look it up.
All in all, a beautiful piece Tom.
 
Cheers
W
 

Kakku, many thanks for the listen!
 
Optimus, I agree with the guitar tone problem. This is me really playing a real guitar, so I start in my head wanting it to sound like Mark Knopfler. Then I quickly realize I'm not and I can't. Thus the end result! Until such time as he makes himself available. :)  Or he becomes a Kontakt instrument . . .
 
Voda, your comments are really appreciated! Any time I can get some magic going, it feels pretty cool. Rare, but cool!
 
Allan, thanks much! yes the intro I agree is too long for anything super commercial, but looks like despite that very common comment, I'm gonna stick with that and I might lose a few listeners in the process. I'm fighting the battle against short attention spans one long intro at a time. And likely, losing it. :)
 
Wookie, thanks very much for the listen as well!
 
 
-Tom
 
 
 

Thanks, Bjorn, much obliged. Happy New Year to ya.
 
-Tom

war is over
 
the zone you float in is clear and true
 
keep that boat afloat
 
if you touch only one person you have been a success.  I was touched...hence
 
jsq

Thanks Bert, appreciate it! It's kind of a weird video that starts out with pretty much just visuals, but ends with message. Thanks for the kind words.
 
and thanks also Jessie Q Screed, long may we all keep afloat.
 
-Tom
 

I loved both the song and video. Excellent!

thanks again!
 
Mesh, I very much agree, the intro is too long for most listeners, but I just can't bring myself to change it. Each time I raise the cleaver, I look into its little eyes, and I don't have the heart to do it.  :)  Thanks for the kind comments!
 
Starise, many thanks again, and so glad to hear you are back in the game!!!
 
Lynn, so glad you liked it, and I'll take an A+ from you any day. 
 
 
cheers,
-Tom