• Coffee House
  • Bapu's (and others) random thoughts for the day. (p.1478)
2012/12/18 16:14:53
Old55
Maybe the Mayan calendar actually signals FSF reaching 500 and not the end of the world. 
2012/12/18 16:20:08
Beagle
chefmike8888


Beagle


Mesh


The question is, who is (fool enough) prepared to give CPR and revive this to bapu?

uhhh....NO.

Come on Beag.
Are you telling me that a dog, who licks is butt by the way, wont put it's lips on Bapu?














































Me either




































Mike


2012/12/18 16:24:48
daryl1968
Old55


Maybe the Mayan calendar actually signals FSF reaching 500 and not the end of the world. 


I think you may have it Jan
2012/12/18 16:26:57
bapu
Oh, Jan has it 'aight
2012/12/18 16:29:55
Mesh
Jan's got the Mojo?
2012/12/18 16:46:27
Old55
Is it contagious?
2012/12/18 16:49:48
Ham N Egz

Three Holy Men and a Bear!!
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences. Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, .....circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
2012/12/18 17:12:21
Jonbouy
tidy boiler, tho'

 

 
I haven't heard that for years.
 
The missus and I were discussing having some PC training after I dropped a 'Prince Philip' style derogatory term during a doctors appointment this afternoon.  It turns out neither of us very good at choosing the right terms to use anymore, they've all changed since we were kids.
 
We decided that my eldest daughter is a right-on kind of mollisher, so we're hoping she can help.
2012/12/18 17:38:36
SteveStrummerUK

As I stood in court awaiting sentencing I whispered, "I hope they don't rape new inmates on their first night in prison?"







And that's how I lost my job as a barrister.

2012/12/18 17:48:13
SteveStrummerUK
 
Weather forecast for the next 3 days

Wednesday: Cold, rain showers -1 degree.

Thursday: Cold, rain showers, -2 degrees.

Friday: Hot, meteor showers, 10,000,000 degrees.
© 2026 APG vNext Commercial Version 5.1

Use My Existing Forum Account

Use My Social Media Account