I was mugged by koalas once. It was embarassing. I was minding my own business in my cage. A few kids would try to jab me with a stick as they went by, but their parents would push them away from the bars pretty quickly. Usually the mothers would cry out, "It's Hideous!", or "Gross!". The fathers woulld warn their kids that they could end up looking like me if they didn't watch out.
Anyway, a gang of koalas paid off a guard to get into my cage. A crowd gathered to watch them. The little monsters beat me senseless. Fortunately, that didn't take long. They stole my becan, painted unicorns on my face, and stuffed me in a tire swing. That's right, they stole my becan.
Stupid Koalas.