SteveStrummerUK
 
My new blow up doll is so realistic, it told me it just wants to be friends

Chortle
 
Heeeeeeee's baaaa0aaaaaaack!!!!

 
I think I'll unsubscribe from this 'ikkle fred again now.
 
My work here is done....
 
I proved that I was reading the title at least.
 
 

SteveStrummerUK
 
I think I'll unsubscribe from this 'ikkle fred again now.
 
My work here is done....
 
I proved that I was reading the title at least.
 
 

What with all the competition brewing over who gets TOTP on the 700th?
 
Actually I don't blame you.

 
My mind is made up.
 
I'm gone.
 
No amount of jollity and encouragement can make me stay.
 
Now leave me in peace.
 
Or I'll tell Daveny5 that you are actually more sarcastic and pompous than he.
 
Well done.
 
Over and out from Straummy Towers.
 
 

 
Toodle-pip and au revoir.
 
 

 
I wonder...
 
Is it pronounced "DAVE EN-WHY FIVE", or "DAVE-KNEE-FIVE"?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Or just "TWAT" "DAVE"
 
 
 

 
A true story....... (which has the word 'pompous' in it)
 
 
Albert Einstein was invited to give a series of after dinner speeches but soon began to tire of these events.
 
"I have an idea," said his chauffeur. "I've heard you give this speech so many times that I know it by heart and, because I bear a passing resemblance to you, I could give it for you."
 
"Why not," Einstein laughed. "Let's do it."
 
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat at the back of the room. The chauffeur gave an eloquent speech and even answered a few questions.
 
Then a pompous professor asked an extremely complex question about anti-matter formation.
 
The chauffeur replied, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting at the back of the room, answer it."

SteveStrummerUK
 
A true story....... (which has the word 'pompous' in it)
 
 
Albert Einstein was invited to give a series of after dinner speeches but soon began to tire of these events.
 
"I have an idea," said his chauffeur. "I've heard you give this speech so many times that I know it by heart and, because I bear a passing resemblance to you, I could give it for you."
 
"Why not," Einstein laughed. "Let's do it."
 
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat at the back of the room. The chauffeur gave an eloquent speech and even answered a few questions.
 
Then a pompous professor asked an extremely complex question about anti-matter formation.
 
The chauffeur replied, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting at the back of the room, answer it."

Now that deserves the Chortle image.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sadly I cannae be arsed to go get it.

 
Please stop trying to be a-tricking me into staying here Edwidge.
 
 

 
I really enjoyed yesterdays Wimbledon.
 


I haven't seen a women's semi that long since my last trip to Thailand.