The Bapu
drewfx1
In case you were wondering, the link to the future I posted yesterday (http://forum.cakewalk.com/12-m2562670-p731.aspx#2874300) is now working correctly since it's the future, relatively speaking.
Of course it's not really the future anymore, but I can't do anything about that because the stupid forum SW apparently does not currently support linking across the time space continuum correctly. But hopefully it will in the future. I'll provide a link when it does.
Check with Bubba. He's got a handle on the TSC thingy you're referring to.
The handle broke off. It wasn't my fault. Okay, there were the usual loud and somewhat disturbing scenes that are typical of Karyn's Day celebrations. I don't know who decided that they wanted to order pizza from Sheboygan, WI circa 1000BC. (If it's not delivered in 30 centuries, it's free...) The resulting chaos and technological innovation as local tribes attempted to fulfill the order completely disrupted the timeline.
Dwelling in what would later become known as the Great Pizza Continent long before the Native American tribes of our timeline, a team of nomadic wanderers and outcasts received the order. Understanding the need to rebuild society in order to comply, they quickly established Chief Strutting Hog's Pizza and Bait Shoppe. Early attempts proved disastrous. A young innovator, Creeping Mold, attempted to put mushrooms on a pizza. He was promptly tossed into Lake Michigan. In time, a type of pizza had been created which the people called, "Deep Bowl" pizza. Unfortunately, not everyone could agree on the design or construction of the Ultimate pizza. Some felt that pizza should be thin, soft and floppy like soggy leaves. Others felt that it should be made of substances other than food. War broke out between the factions. Floppy pizza lovers were driven to the east where they eventually settled in the area that would become New England. The insane people who preferred inedible pizza traveled west and settled in California.
A system of roads was built to support the delivery of pizzas. Shortly thereafter, a society of people who dug holes in the roads grew to fill a natural void. By the time of the first Thanksgiving, the affair was catered by Stomping Woodchuck's Flimsy Excuse for a Pizza. They weren't the best around, but they were the cheapest. Unfortunately, the entire settlement died of botulism. Stomping Woodchuck offered no refund.
Enraged, by the senseless loss of life, England momentarily suspended hostilities against the French who didn't really notice. Hundreds of warships descended on the New World. Once ashore, the British invaded Stomping Woodchuck's lobby. Unfortunately, they had to take a number and wait to be served. During this lengthy delay, the game of cricket was introduced to the local inhabitants. Without a natural defense, the indigenous tribes agreed to a match which continues to this present day. Satisfied that their work was done, the troops returned home to continue the fight against the French, who still did not notice.
One by one, each European nation which attempted to settle the New World was turned away, typically with full bellies and a firm resolve never to do that again. Instead, residents of the Great Pizza Continent turned a blind eye on the world at large and focused instead on the construction of the essential pizza delivery infrastructure required to fulfill the ancient order.
At long last, mere minutes before the 30 century deadline would expire, the completed order was carefully placed into the hands of Smells Like Dead Weasel, who loaded it into his trusty AMC Gremlin, cranked the necessary "Classic Stone" music, and drove into the night. Unfortunately, Smells Like Dead Weasel had absolutely no sense of direction. While he was never officially found, rumors persist that he can sometimes be seen walking up to houses at random and asking if they ordered 75 large pepperoni and pineapple BBQ pizzas with extra cheese and extra becan.
In all of the excitement that we might be getting our order soon, someone "accidentally" broke the handle. The continuum is a mess right now. I'm sure we'll get it sorted out eventually, but for now, it's complete chaos. Also, I'm hungry.