Ok, I'm awake now - after 12 hours of recovery sleep. It's been a tough last four days... I've had this "condition" that can occur from sitting too much called a pilonidal cyst. I think it began because I was stuck in stop and go traffic in 90 degree heat for hours last Monday in a manual transmission truck without A/C (we had a fire on Government Island which is in the Columbia River, half-way between Oregon and Washington - they shut down the main freeway crossing the river for a while - HUGE mess). Feel free to look up the term if you want to be disgusted (in WWII they called it "Jeep Seat").
Only those who have had hemmoroids might understand what a
pain in the arse these can be. Fortunately, it self-lanced yesterday so I won't need some quack going down there with a scalpel! I can actually sit and stand without pain today - YAY!