Today will begin with an 80% chance of Good. Early this morning, however, we are seeing a 60% chance of Work blowing in which will downgrade us to only a 20% chance of Okay. There's an 8:00 AM coffee which should perk things up until that 9:00 meeting. At that time, there's a 90% chance of Partly Bad. Beware of Diverted Responsibility Storms throughout the morning.
There's a brief respite during the mid day, but absurd deadlines, backstabbing, blame and fingerpointing are expected over the course of the afternoon with an 80% chance of Horrible. During the evening commute, there is a 5% chance of Not Bad, but road construction may suddenly downgrade to Mind-Blowingly Frustrating.
This evening, there is a 10% chance of Awesome, but that Honey-Do front we've been monitoring could move in at any moment. If there are teenagers, there is a 95% chance of drama. (Actual values may vary with gender...)
Late tonight, there is a 30% chance of Good, with a 5% chance of Night Terrors.
Overall, today is expected to be 20% - 40% better than another randomly selected date for which there are no quantifiable metrics.
A statistician is a terrible thing to waste. At least, they are 30% of the time.