I just bought one of these......



Well, I say "bought". Actually I stole it off a small, fat, ginger kid.

A macho young swimmer named Dwyer,
Really liked playing with fire.
One night in the dark
He swam with a shark,
And his voice is now two octaves higher.

Bapsi: I don't think that Jamaican 100m sprinter is any good

Straummy: What Usain?

Bapsi: I'm saying I don't think that Jamaican 100m sprinter is any good

SteveStrummerUK


Bapsi: I don't think that Jamaican 100m sprinter is any good

Straummy: What Usain?

Bapsi: I'm saying I don't think that Jamaican 100m sprinter is any good

Husein was not much of a sprinter either, rather a better mole in a hole.

Earlier today, I went to the pet shop to buy a Chinchilla.


Pfft, what a waste of money....


If anything, it's actually made my face even warmer.

Due to a booking mix-up, a man and a woman who have never met before find themselves having to share a sleeping compartment of a train. After the initial awkwardness, they both decide to be adult about it and flip a coin for who gets which bunk . The woman calls correctly and takes the top one.

In the middle of the night, the woman leans over and says, "I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I’ve got a better idea....why don't we just pretend that we’re married."

"Why not," giggles the woman.

"Right", he replies. "Get your own f***ing blanket."

I've got a mate called Sid, who was the Victim of  I.D theft.

Now we just call him S

Paulo,

That was *almost* a chortle.