Two nuns were walking through the zoo.. a sister and a novice...
they passed (guess..thats right, you got it) the Gorilla cage and as they looked in, the gorilla grabbed the sister and yanked her trhough the bars.. habit went flying and gorillas do what they do with lady gorillas (if you know what i mean which i am sure you do because even i dont spend 24/7 in front of sonar)..and then tossed the nun and her clothes out of the cage...
The novice was horrified and watched in silence as the nun hastily put on her (whatevers) and habit.. the nud turns to the novice and says embarassed.."child, do not speak of this to anyone, at any time as long as you live..do you hear me"?..
"yes sister" she replied.
They weny back to the abbey and nothing was said that day
nor that week
and not even that month
and yes you got it, not that year
and the world turned, the days into weeks into months into years and lots of them passed..
and lots more
and still a few more years past
and one more
ok fine.. and one for luck
So then (after one more year had passed) the sister nun, who was now mother superior, was laying in her death bed (and you so know there is some sort of punchline coming which there better had be or you guys will be pissed at me for wasting your time)..
So.. she laid on her death bed for another year (i did not say i wouldnt waste your time now did i?)
and it finally came to pass (after another year) that it was time for the last rites and the nuns filed in one by one to pay their last respects
(are you getting anxious?..feel free to go to the bathroom, have a sandwich..even go to the bar if you want)
so the nuns filed in to pay their last respects, and as there was a lot of them.. it took another year...(see told you to go pee)
and then finally (yes, honest..finally), the novice from the zoo visit went to see the mother superior (and at this point i did in fact resist the temptation to say she broke her leg and had to recuperate for some period of time which coincidently would more than likely have been something not quite entirely unlike a year in length)...
so ... (are yu still there?.. ok fine, i shall continue)..
so she came up to the bedside to pay her last respects.. and leaned over the mother superior weeping in angst (whatever that is..but it dont sound good)..and said "Dear Reverend Mother.. may i ask a question"?
"Yes my child.. at this time you may ask anything"..
"Reverend Mother.. do you remember that day, so many years ago...when we visited the zoo"?..
"Yes, Yes my child..I rememebr it too well" she said with a shudder..
The sister continued.."I have kept silent all these years about that day as you requested.. but i have a question about that day"
The Mother superior looked quickly around to see that nobody was listening and quietly said "proceed my child"..
"reverend mother.. what that gorilla did to you was horrific....... may i ask..... did it hurt"?
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(you wont like this)
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(but it is a apey gorillary thing theme so you asked for it even though you didnt)
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The mother superior said...
...
"did it hurt"?
"DID it HURT"??
"Of course it bloody hurt ... he never rang, he never wrote... i never saw him again!"