So, i get asked to record an acoustic duet..  as they want to make some demo... I so knew it wouldnt end well so was happy to do this gratis in this case..
 
What i knew in advance was that he wasnt a great guitar player, and average would be kind, and she, well picture the ear piercing vibrato inducing country shrieker and you get the idea.. raw talent yes, can sing in pitch yes. volume is on/off and nothing in between?. yes.
 
So the track in question i load into Sonar for comparative purposes, stick him in the booth, take a pup feed and also mic the guitar. Send a click track to his phones and hit REC. After 5 attempts i say, "you know it has pickup notes right?...I think you need to start playing on the 4 beat.........." .
After another half a dozen takes, "how about i give you a monitoring feed of the song and you play along"?
After several more attempts (this is now an hour in) i have a full take... he does ask "how did it go"..and i said "Well, lets wait until we hear the whole song eh"?
 
Stick the singer in the booth, at this point i would give her the monitoring feed of the guitar, but took pity and said "here sing along with the original song".. engaged 20dB pad.
 
When done.. i said told them to take a break, did a quick mix & master, told them to sit down (luckily i have a sofa in the room) and hit play..
 
After the shock and dazed look faded from their faces, i asked innocently "So, how did you think you did"?..
 
"he cant count to four and i cant sing for sh*t"....
 
 
 

That was a good on Ian.  Here's one from my Sound Logic days in L.A..

A young, heavy metal band comes in from Beverly Hills.  They load in (studio was on 2nd floor w/no elevators!).  All great and expensive gear.  They set up and are really excited to record three of their songs.  

As I was setting mics, they broke out a case of beer and by the time I finished with the sound check and first rough passes (about an hour later), they were so high and/or drunk they couldn't concentrate enough on the beat, tuning, starts and ends to get decent takes.  They called it and came back the next night with clearer heads.

Rimshot

LOL!!

At least they're honest about themselves.... :)





Ps.
Now, why couldn't you make them sound good? Fix it in the mix? Autotune? 





















I keeeed.....I keeeed (like Bapu sez) 

I tell people that have never recorded that recording will be brutal for a few sessions... or maybe a few years.


I'm saving up for a couch.

mike_mccue


I tell people that have never recorded that recording will be brutal for a few sessions... or maybe a few years.


I'm saving up for a couch.

Yup, i had tried some degree of forewarning.. to the guitarist : play with a metronome, work on even tempo'd, right hand strumming for volume and string selection, smooth quick accurate left hand technique..and practice practice practice... and to the vocalist : breathing, volume and tonal control..
 
at least now i dont appear as if i was just being elitist/nag...lol
 
Sofa is handy for checking mixes... sometimes at the desk you are too inside the music.

I have many but as a player...

The first one to mind-

I was hired to do an 8 hr session. I was to write and play the lead guitar part(s).

A couple had hired me. He wrote songs and his wife sang.
They hoped to get at least two completed tunes from the session.
They had friends come from out of state for the session. He was to cover all the acoustic work and she was to cover the keys.
The bassist was a guy I had heard of that played "Up With People" trips and at that time slap and pop bass was his thing...on everything lol. (these were rockin'country tunes)
The drummer I had heard play. Very steady, simple and average honky tonk drummer.

They spent like what seemed forever trying to get the drums sounding right...I sat in a booth ready, listening to all the racket.
Bass player slappin' and poppin....Ed, the acoustic player had turned engineer/producer and his wife was playing any and everything she could think of....I sat in the booth, ready.

While waiting I knew Ed turning into engineer/producer wasn't going to do his part(s) and got my head ready to cover the acoustic guitar part(s).
Wasn't long and he stuck his head in the booth and asked me to...no problem.

Finally a run through. They kept the tracks and let me lay down the lead. Then they spent the rest of the 6 or so hours trying to get the other parts...total gas. Nobody had prepared for any aspect of recording in a studio and their parts?...not good. That was a very long session to me.

There is more than knowing ones part and how to lay it down. There is studio etiquette.
They were all upset with each other. Each being right and each at fault.

I unfortunately had many sessions with players that really didn't know how to prepare for a session. Many of them were excellent musicians and handled their part but....there's more to it...and if I'm not clear, it may be something to pickup on if you're planing on paying for studio time.

They got a rhythm and lead part for their money...so they said. Pretty sad really.

When I first moved from the west coast to upstate NY about 20 years ago, I ended up meeting a couple of guys who were putting a cover band together. We talked awhile and I agreed to be the lead singer and rhythm guitarist. After a couple of months rehearsal we booked a couple of gigs and things went well. My wife brought a large boom box to a gig and recorded the 2nd set without our knowledge. The next day she played the tape and it sounded pretty decent for what it was. I played it for the guys and they got all fired up to go into a studio in Ithaca NY to record a demo to use for getting gigs. I tried to convince them what we had was good enough, but they were having none of it.

So we book a Friday night from 7 to 11 at Electric Wilburland studios. The place is still there. Old church converted to a studio with a great vibe and nice gear. These clowns show up drunk and high, insisting on recording live straight to tape. WTF! So we set up and blast through 8 songs twice. Every 3rd or 4th song, out they go into the parking lot for more lubrication and inhalation. By 10:00 its just a train wreck. I told Wil, the owner/engineer I would stop back Sunday for the mixdown and left.

I still have the 2" reel from the that session. A few years ago, I took it down to a friends studio that still has a tape machine to hear it again, as I hadn't listened to it in almost 20 years. It didn't get better with age, but it definitely was worth a good laugh.

Randy

Not really a recording studio story but....

About 20 years ago a bunch of us set about recording some acoustic stuff in a friend's bedroom, on an old 4-track. Of course we were all high, and there were some extra friends in the room just to get high and listen. Everyone's mind was all over the place and it took forever to get things set up (as simple as the setup was). Just when we thought we were ready to roll, someone would announce some problem with their instrument or with the mic placement or forget which song we were playing etc. 

So finally, we were ready to roll. The tape started, "1...2...3"

All of a sudden, Peter, who was just there to get high and watch, stood up and yelled "WHOA...NO...HOLD IT...STOP...STOP!"

And I said "What IS it Peter?"

"Gotta adjust my boxers."