Reece, can you just use ear buds to hear yourself? Because they aren't closed backs....you should be able to hear the live performance and yourself in the buds. That may be the fix there. Unfortunately, the whole he plays you play thing needs a fix for sure. They need to set up the songs to cater to each guy. Sort of like the bassist in my band. He needs to use a 5 string for some songs and he prefers his 4 for all others. So when we do songs that use the 5 string, we segue them together so he doesn't have to make a change.
Ohh I've got the fix. If the ear buds thing is too loud or not loud enough....how about one of those little Rolls headphone amps? I think they are like $40 bucks. Plug it into your head phone out of your amp, then you'll have a level control using the Rolls amp. This of course will depend on whether or not your keyboard amp has a headphone jack. But that's what I'd try. :) Good luck man...at the end of the day, God is watching you and appreciates what you do even if it's sometimes a bit frustrating.
I had a few issues with my church band too. It really bothered me the way they ran things. Funny story real quick...I always got to church early so I could play my acoustic guitar and hear it resonate all through our huge Catholic church when no one was there. The sound was just amazing. One day I was frustrated and really didn't want to be there because of the band leader.
I said a little prayer and said "God, show me a sign if I'm not supposed to be here...so and so is really annoying me but I'm willing to put up with it for You." On that note, I started playing the intro to Ozzy's Diary of a Madman...which is a beautiful piece of acoustic guitar music.
I woke up about 8 minutes later with people all around me wondering what the heck just happened. Either God didn't like Ozzy, or he gave me my sign. The cello that was next to me, fell over and knocked me out cold. LOL!!!! :)
-Danny