I said I would present a straight up love song........and here it is.
 
Velva Red, she did it.
 
http://www.soundclick.com/html5/v3/player.cfm?type=single&songid=13608146&q=hi
 
jesse q. screed

I think this song is great. You need to develop certain of the idea further. Right now it's a little brittle. Her voice is so good. You should Stick with her😙

Hey eph, thanks for commenting.  Help me out a bit though, what do you mean by "brittle?"
 
jqs

She can sing, but as David said the backing is very brittle or thin there seems to be no weight in the music, no real bass or lower mid's.  Definitely worth developing more and she is a keeper for vocals.

OK Wookiee,  thanks for the insight.  I think I can fix that up.  I mixed this on headphones and probably rushed it to post, like I do a lot, because Velva's voice is so nice.  I got over excited. 
 
I'm not sure if I have enough bandwidth left for this week to upload it again, so I will have to wait until I get to my friends to fix and post.
 
Your comments are valuable and will give me guidance as I try to hone this tune better.
 
jqs
 
 

I agree with previous comments on the backing music. In fact, in the beginning I really liked the guitar sound, but as the song progressed it wore out its welcome. Seemed to be playing to a different mood, kind of disconnected to everything else.  Maybe that's intentional?  Not sure..you never know with artists, what their vision might be.
 
Nice vocals and melodies.  Would love to hear this again after your tweaks.  

Hello, VLV thanks for the comments.  I agree with f what you say.  In honesty, none of this, but the melody and vocals, is intentional.  I'm at the crap shoot stage right now and as I said before, I jumped the gun in posting.  The good thing about that is you get some great comments on what could be worked on.  I will value your critique and hopefully have an improved version next time.
 
jqs

If you gave me the tracks "as is" to produce the first thing I'd work on is timing.
 
The way the drums are laid out, it's as if they are way behind the beat or the singer is way ahead of the beat.
 
Then some layering of instruments to build up the nature of the song.
 
Or summat like that.
 
BTW, yes, she can sing.

bapu
If you gave me the tracks "as is" to produce the first thing I'd work on is timing.
 
The way the drums are laid out, it's as if they are way behind the beat or the singer is way ahead of the beat.
 
Then some layering of instruments to build up the nature of the song.
 
Or summat like that.
 
BTW, yes, she can sing.

Is that a proposition?
 
If so, PM me.
 
I think she may be behind, originally, as I have been searching for the center, but as it is, it was the first time we worked together, we were learning how to understand each other.
 
Her voice, and the song, are golden.              Were it that under a wing I could light.
 
jqs
 
 

Nice song and a really nice singer, but like others have noted you need to
develop the backing music.