This is my new song for the week.  Maybe I'm trying too hard!
 
 
 
https://soundcloud.com/da...4/adihkas-downward-dog

Is your name "JAMES"???????????? 
 

No

HHhmmm , interesting one Dave ,
 
You do some real nice moments in there for sure .
I was listening w my studio cans so my impression was that everything was a little too upfront inside the sound stage for my personal taste ...
Is a first draft of your tune  ?  
It seemed to me that you took great care in coming up with some very interesting sounds .As they were introduced into the musical performance they all seemed to come in at full throttle .
It could be me and that's the way I'm hearing things today ....in any event the song does showcase the fact that you do have a talent in music.
 
all the best,
 
Kenny 
 

Kenny,thanks for the listen.  It's basically a binary song with two plagal cadences.  So, it's more of a novelty piece.  I can't hit a home run every time, but I do try to write a song a week.  Sometimes they morph into better songs.
 
I Am interested in what you mean by *upfront* in the soundstage.  Does that mean *needs more depth*?  Which instruments are upfront... the synths?  

Having me explain my self is asking a lot from me at this point , but real fast a few quick points ....
When you have the 8 bit synth bass type part in the first 30 plus seconds of the song when it is prominent it is OK once the next section comes in the synth part seems to mask the newer stuff you have introduced ..
I almost feel the choir is sort of loud when it comes in and it seems very localized and narrow ...
right up the middle ?
I like what you did around 1:12 ish underneath the song with the supporting sections ...there is nice movement and I like how you played around with the stereo field of those parts ...the thing is the choir masks what you did ..
maybe the volume of choir?
at 1:31 the chord hits seem very loud to me and due to the electronic nature of their sounds they seem to lack warmth ...I do like your effects processing of them though ...
I do find the backwards electronic dog bark sound w the drums as it comes back in ...a nice section 
At 1:46 the pitched percussion / xylophone is a nice tone but I wonder why it has to come right up the middle of your sound stage ? it seems way too dominant there and somewhat loud for the part ..  
At 2:06 and 2:26 the little guitar chord pad is to short , I actually found that sound to be a welcome relief and I would urge you to consider placing some of those types of sounds in you song    if you did it could certainly replace what ever that ambient background noise you used   was...
Once again at around 2:39 the choir seems to come in rather strongly it overshadows the parts you have supporting that section of the songs foundation ...I happen to like what you did there with the songs stereo effects  
of the pads and sounds you used there ...it's just getting interesting yet the choir overshadows those parts a little to much ....sort of like they are in the shade and the choir is getting all the sunlight ....
at 3:04  the underlying french horn / type of sounds ?  are buried , it's to bad what ever types of sounds they were I found the parts to be interesting yet I had to fight to hear and make them out . 
The last 3 chords of your song did have interesting sounds to them w nice effects ...hearing them the first time Yeah OK ...hearing them more than once though has me thinking you could have had that sound floating over the top with some low and midrange chord inversions underneath ...to end with some balls and power ...
It is very possible that you may have chosen the sounds you did for other reasons ..like poking fun at tradition or fill in the blank ...
Either way you asked ...I did my best to convey my impressions ...generally I don't like to go this deep publicly ,but since you have asked I did ...
Keep in mind that I may feel differently if I listened to this over my speakers or at a different time of the day .
As far as my cans go , I listen to everybody from Pro's to Joe's , including myself with them so they are a trusted listening environment for me.
 
all the best,
 
Kenny 
 
 

Wow that's quite a commentary.  Thanks for the insight!

Oh yeah

Hi Dave,
this is definitely not my "cuppa" but I can hear elements of good work in here.  your music seems very unfocused to me, have a lot of different "styles" - this and your other work with acoustic and electric guitars are quite different from each other - almost like you're different people writing them!
 
the back and forth synth starts to annoy me after a while - was that your intention?  
 
sounds like carnival stuff in one area.
 
now that part sounds a lot better, IMO, after being bombarded with the two synth notes for 2 and 1/2 minutes, the smooth synth coming in was a huge relief!  but then the crystal synth at the end was a little too harsh, for my ears.
 
just my opinion.  

Thanks for listening Beagle.  I'm a songwriter so I don't have a specific genre i work in.  This was just for fun, as I said. The mix is a little sloppy I know.  All the songs that I really feel strong about get re-recorded and pitched to people.  Sometimes, these *caprices* get worked into other songs.