Hey David,
Interesting stuff. Kind of like Reece, its not really my thing, so its hard to comment on the composition. I would have to agree and this is just my opinion, but there is a lot of randomness to the composition for me. I like compositions that have a bit more pattern and repeated elements to them.
For me, the drums had to much reverb on them and were too low in the mix. I guess I wanted to hear the drums and maybe some bass lay down a foundation that was more of a consistent pattern. Then maybe, the other more random elements have some sort of glue to tie them together more.
Again, this is not the type of music that I usually listen too though, so I could be all wrong.