Whew! Was quite relieved when my Doomsday Pod finally arrive this morning. Boy was I sweatin' bullets!
 
Then I discovered I had to put the stupid thing together. AAAAAAAAAAAAH! There's no time for this!
 
To make matters worse the only instructions were in French. This is just GREAT! 
 
HOURS LATER...
 
OK, so my neighbor speaks French, sort of, so he agreed to help me put it together but only if I let him in with me. What could I say? Anyway, we finally got the thing going. We're closing the door in just a few minutes. Wish us a happy new life somewhere out there.
 
BTW, the instructions say once I'm sealed inside, I won't be let out for 10 years to insure any nuclear fallout or bits and pieces of non believers or any other free radicals circulating through the cosmos are all gone and its safe to emerge.
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If for some reason the end doesn't come I'm gonna need you guys to bring everything you've got and get me outa this thing, OK?
 
My location is.. {ZZZZIZZZTH STCHOWEEETZ} "WE'RE SORRY! DUE TO THE BEGINNING OF THE 1ST PHASE OF THE EARTH'S ENDING CYCLE, YOUR CONNECTION HAS BEEN LOST! PLEASE REBOOT THE UNIVERSE! THIS IS AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE! REPLYING TO IT IS FUTILE AS THERE IS NO ONE LEFT TO ANSWER YOUR CALL! PLEASE STOP CRYING AND TRY TO ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR DAY!"