A guy goes into a super market for groceries with his wife. He comes across a 12 pack of beer and puts it into their cart. His wife tells him"PUT THAT BACK." He tells her" It's on sale" but she won't hear it so he puts it back. A few minutes later she comes across a container of face cream and puts it in the cart. He tells her " put THAT back" so she says "I need it to make me more beautiful and it's on sale!" He says " That's what I wanted the beer for and IT's a lot cheaper!"


P.S. A Thanks to Mod Bod for reporting this event

I had a friend years ago that told jokes.
He couldn't tell a joke if the world depended on it but he would
get people laughing and mean side hurting and watery eyes laughing.
He would just naturally get the joke and himself so screwed up...
I saw him a couple of years ago...hasn't changed a bit.

A woman says to her husband "I'm so depressed. I've just been looking at myself in a full length mirror and I'm old, fat, my boobs are sagging, I've got wrinkles and my hair is thin and lank. Can you tell me something positive to cheer me up?"


Husband says "Well there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

Man calls 911- I think my wife is dead...what makes you think so?....well the sex is
the same but the ironing is piling up.


Man's wife has been missing for a week...he's talking with officer and the officer says, it's not looking good you better prepare for the worse...so he goes to Goodwill and gets her
clothes back.