I guess it depends on what effect you think telling the truth is likely to have........

At a work social event many years ago, I was trapped in a corner by a colleagues wife and could see over her shoulder everyone else having a far better time than me and wanted to join them, but she wasn't taking the hint and after what seemed to be an insufferable amount of time for any man and having earlier imbibed several pints of truth serum (beer) I soon found myself hearing my own voice say.... " I have to go over there now because you're boring the crap outta me" and promptly left without looking back and proceeded to have a jolly old time.

The reality of what I had done only really dawned on me on returning to work.... how was this gonna go down ? She's sure to have told him............... how's he going to be towards me now ? We were never what you'd call friends or anything, but had a good cordial working relationship thus far, but how would he treat me now ? I decided to get it over with and made his office my first port of call that day on a work-related premise to see the lay of the land...........................never in the all the time I had known that guy was he so pleased to see me or so friendly. The incident was never mentionedat all , but from that day onward it was like I was his new best pal or something. Guess I must have said something that he had always wanted someone (or maybe himself) to.

So based on my experience - just tell 'em how it is - someone will thank you for it !

Starise


 
  I want to run away but I can't. I'm trying to look interested but the act is wearing thin. I can't concentrate on anything. I am not married to this person.

Wouldn't want to be married to that person, either. But then, if you only had a cursory interest and all you are doing is giving me the cheap acting method ... I wouldn't want to be near you, either!
 
I'm rough on these areas, because I am too damn psychic in relationships and it can get out of hand quickly if the two parties are not willing to find a way to communicate and understand each other. I used to have a couple of minor issues with the lady I loved the most, and one day she cornered me, and asked ... and I said ... what is it that you are afraid of? ... that I can see that you sat in Evan's class with Karen on your left, and she was wearing a blue skirt and a white top? ... some people can see things, and the only thing you can help them with in terms of "seeing" is help them with the perception to get cleaner and clearer ... but if all you are doing is hiding a part of yourself that you don't want me to catch ... we don't have a relationship anymore!
 
We never had that issue again, and talking was rough for me in general, still fighting English really hard then, but all in all it was good ... no complaints here, although I might even have told her ... and expected ... her to be able to ask similar questions if something I said didn't make sense ... or sounded backwards.
 
I was also writing a screenplay and a couple of other things around her ... so she KNEW ... or at least had a fairly good idea ... that it was not malicious as it was about learning and figuring it out.
 
But in my book ... honesty trumps it all ... Bapu or no Bapu! Even though sometimes I think that some comments and replies ... are not necessary, but his post count must not dwindle!

 Thanks for the friendly advice... I did try the farting on numerous times;) That usually only breaks things up for a short time unless it happens to be one of the really bad ones. This person is far too kind for me to ever say anything. The other day I got away by going to a break, that seems to work fairly well. I think the problem is hyperactivity and boredom which leads to running mouth syndrome.

 I usually don't mind but sometimes or I should say usually I am about to make some kind of a decision that takes more thought than my small brain will process if it's interrupted. Just about always this is when this individual decides its time to start a lengthy conversation about almost anything and I do mean anything. At that moment I am so frustrated I want to hit my computer keyboard but I look over and listen and nod...never matter I just forgot everything I was thinking only a few seconds ago. I like people and this is a nice person but man I wish I could just go away sometimes. I know some of the problem probably lies with me too.

 I can't wait for the holidays when we go to my get togethers where I am content to be there for maybe an hour or two. Enough time to see everyone and be on our way.My wife being a photographer it is a 4 hour photo op so I have three hours to sit and listen to somebody brag about how wonderful they are never asking me how I'm doing....this is usually when I get up looking for the wine.It's not really this bad but thats the jist of it.

 Patience is a virtue... patience is a virtue lol.
 
 Truth be told I would miss this person if they ever left and I enjoy working with them but sometimes I need a mental health day.

You have to remember the first rule of the happy home life: If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

My wife is a "frequent talker".
1: She changes subjects in the middle of a conversation.
2: Gives her commentary while somone else is giving the facts (or the real commentary) on TV.
3: She begins talking before she gets in the room or when she hears me coming. (I never know what she is saying or talking about).
4: She talks to herself. In the kitchen when I am in the den, just loud enough so I can hear.
It is all maddening but it will never stop.
 
If she is talking while some talking head is saying something I am interested in, I usually say STOP. If it is the same thing I have heard 100 times in response to some similar thing, I just say OK, over an over, until she stops. When she starts talking when I am not in the room I use my most frequently use word... "WHAT"?
My hearing is not the best and I have a hard time understanding either one when two people are talking at once.
If I am doing something that requires no talking, like reading or recording I tell her in advance to please not talk to me while I am doing this. If I am reading or studying something I will completely lose my train of thought if someone talks to me and will have to go back a ways to get my place again.
 
One of the things that bothers me the most is when we/if we are watching something on TV and I go to the hall bath for a quick weewee... inevitably she will laugh loud and long. Then when I get back say, "roll it back you have got to see this". It is never anything any different than the other tripe but I usually just play along. I know it is harmless and she is well meaning and I know she loves me so I put up with most of it and just go along. It would be really petty of me to complain all the time... however I usually DO say something if she starts talking to me before I get in the room or when she talks to herself and I have to ask if she is talking to me.
 
I think one of the hardest things for a man to learn is that a woman has a primal need to tell and to ask, either when she gets home or when you get home. She will ask a bunch of questions most of which will have an answer of yes or no. If someone calls, she will ask, "who was that"? A: "Smith". What did he say? A: "nothing"... "well I know they didn't say nothing..."  
You have to find a balance between a mans tendency to want to say nothing and know nothing and a womans need to tell and know everything.
 
Bottom line... I am pretty sure ALL women are frequent talkers.
 
J

 jbow I can see your dilema there. I think some men are wired like women when it comes to talking. In my  case, my wife is a teacher and she is on her feet all day long doing nothing but talking so when she gets home she isn't as talkative as say a woman who is never far from home. She also has a handful of friends and close aquaintences that she is always talking to on the phone so she is pretty much talked out by the time I see her although we still talk. 

  The phone bugs me as much as anything. If she isn't home I'll let it ring and figure that the caller will leave a message if I'm busy. If the phone rings and she is home you *** well better pick it up if she can't. I have been scolded for not picking up the phone.

 Communication itself can be difficult sometimes because a word like crayons sounds like "crowns" when she says it and if I'm not close by I might not hear what she said. I think she gets tired of me saying, what? 

   I still love her dearly though and wouldn't trade it for anything. I don't think I would deal well with your situation Jbow but I guess I would find a way to cope with it.I'm sure she is a fine lady and I have heard other similar stories from others in the past. We have a neighbor that if she catches us in the yard you might as well figure you lost an hours time. I prefer that to having neighbors who won't even ackowledge that you are a human being and I have had a few of those.

 We need both types to make the world go around I guess.

Then there are the LOUD talkers. When I was a kid there was one old lady who, I swear, you could hear her through the phone from across the room. Most of the women on my wifes side of the family are pretty loud and all talk at once then they are together. I find a hole...

It ain't so bad really. It just is what it is and of course my wife makes good money and alomst never complains (about me). That really helps.

J

jbow


Then there are the LOUD talkers. 

Sometimes seem like they're the majority. lol


I think that being a soft spoken person who doesn't speak much makes it even more annoying. And the loudest talkers often seem to be the ones wallowing in the least relevant conversations. Since it requires quite an extra effort for me to even raise my voice, I end up speaking even less in their presence - not only is it pointless, but it's a total waste of energy. 


W/ my low tuned pillow-talk kind of voice, I'm naturally much better discussing only the more important matters, one on one. More than 2 other people to interact w/, and I'm usually off in listen only mode.


My worst case scenario is sitting at a table w/ a bunch of people having trivial conversations in an environment where there's loud music, like a bar. I guess that's why I can outdrink them all - it's all I have left to do. ;)

I had something really interesting to say on this thread, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways..

You know we have some one in our office who just does not know how or when or why to shut up.......the mouth goes and goes and goes and goes......it doesn't say anything.....but it still goes....

90% of the time she does not know what she is talking about....does not even have a clue ...but that does not stop the mouth from going because "she is the expert"...

One time while she was talking to me and I could not stand it any more I just blurted out...."GO AWAY!"..............and still the mouth kept on going!

Next I said" SHUT UP!"..............and the mouth kept on talking as if nothing had happened....

I walked back to my desk, sat down, put some ear phones in, turned up my MP3 player and the mouth stood there and kept going for an additional 10 or so minutes!!!!!  Did not even get the hint!!!!!

unreal.......totally unreal.......

I've watched her start a conversation with one person, and when a different person walks by she will drop the first person and take up where she left off while walking behind the 2nd person......and this continued for an hour or so.....going back and forth between different people with the very same conversation.......

Now a days I just walk straight pass her, don't say a word cause if I do.....I will be lucky if I can get away with in the hour.....

So my advice....just walk away....they may not even notice that your gone!

Clifford

''This song is o-ffensive'' 

Jake Thackray - On Again, On Again