Rain

Fortunately, unlike Bub, I have the best in-laws in the world. They know that I'm not a freeloader, and that we're only taking turns. And it's not like I'm just sitting on my ass either.

You know how to hurt a guy! LOL!

I thought it came out as empathic - that's how I intended it. :)

Old55


You're allowed to rant, Jules.  We're here to listen. 

+1

Don't let the turkeys get you down Julianna!
 
I haven't had a J.O.B. where you have to drive in, at the same time, every stinkin' day since 2003.  I have, however, still managed to work my a$$ off, albeit mostly from home.  I've had the occasional comment about "not having a job - must be nice" to which I usually reply "Well, if you're that jealous of it, let's switch places - of course, you'll have to actually do MORE real work than you do now, miss out on most of those breaks, going out to eat and socializing, oh yeah, and you'll have to do it for peanuts.  But, at least you won't have to commute!"

So I'd suggest offering to change places with him for a day and have a pre-made LONG list of all the housework he'd be expected to do before he can sit down and write some music for you (be sure to include a detailed sheet about the music too).  Hehe... 
 
(Psst...  Hey Bub, her name's not Julie! )

Rain

I thought it came out as empathic - that's how I intended it. :)

I knew what you meant, it was still funny though. :)

craigb

(Psst...  Hey Bub, her name's not Julie! )

Is it Lisa?

Bub

craigb

(Psst...  Hey Bub, her name's not Julie! )
 

Is it Lisa?

Probably better than...
 

 

 
Hi Jules. 
 
I may be wrong, but the wording in your original post makes me think you're almost condoning what your husband said.
 
You actually state that you made a "mistake" in sighing. And by not speaking out there and then after he passed that insensitive comment, I worry slightly that you may have given his remarks some justification, at least in your husband's mind.
 
I think you really should call him out on it, and ask for an apology. And if he genuinely meant what he said, ask him to suggest an alternative to the current work/life arrangement. But my guess is that he's absolutely loving the fact that you are at home to nurture and bring up your children, and that he is happy that the two of you have the choice to be able to live as you do now - I'd imagine that in the majority of families with young kids, both parents have no choice but for both of them to work.
 
And you should never, under any circumstances, be made to feel that your opinions or feelings, however you choose to express them, are a 'mistake'.
 
 

I agree with that sentiment Steve because my inner feminist (despite my wingdoodle I'm a bra burner at heart) gets infuriated hearing this type of stuff. However it might be just a case of a silly dude forgetting what he has and letting his mouth run to places it shouldn't (we've all done it). 

I'm still holding out hope for a nice bouqet of flowers and a forlorn expression when the dude gets home. No need for outright conflict when a good old fashion guiltin' will do the job.

;-)

Rain

Of course, it is a dream come true to be able to just work on music. But it's not like I'm entirely comfortable w/ my situation either. I used to always buy her little presents and take her out and such - those were the things that motivated me to go through the day at work - to be able to spoil her and to take care of everything.

I could have written that paragraph in particular, Rain.  He's never been big on spoiling me (in trinkets at least), and I've been okay with that.  And getting through the day when I was working at the University was all about getting home to HIM and US. He made more money with less time "in the office" (professor) than I ever could... And yet... The ability to just be here and make music, is unreal.


In truth, the clock is looming as I'm supposed to go back to work when the youngest hits first grade next year... A thought that makes me gag, not because I'm scared to work, or feel that I wont find work or whatever, but more because it means that I won't just be able to do what I love anymore.  In fact, I'm still remembered where I was before I stayed home, and I know there are positions practically waiting for me.  I just... Don't want to.  It isn't what I want to be.  It doesn't mean anything to me.  It's an awful predicament to be in, and most of my sensitivities about what I AM doing right now come from that.  This is the first and likely only year where there aren't little ones underfoot constantly, and I'm trying to make the most of it.  



Thanks for sharing that, Rain.