a friend is attempting to take the journey with me and has been tempted more than once to use poor form to kind of cheat for certain chords but I keep reminding her (and myself) that its probably best to tough out the suck until our hands get used to the positions.  I have gone thought such things with other instruments.  Trumpet was a pain to get started.

Get an acoustic 12 string and play that for a while.
 
Then when you switch back to the 6 strings, it will seem easy. 

Lol..if I go that route I could get a six string bass and use guitar tuning

Some great advice above.
 
I remember when I first started to tackle the barres.  I had a bunch of dead sounding strings mostly.   I found that by reinforcing the 1st finger with the 2nd, the barre was easier to do. I also found that I could rotate the finger slightly so that instead of the fleshy side down, the side of the finger was down and it seemed to make that barre easier to get.
 
Of course, the more you play and work on these chords the easier they become as your body starts to do what it's supposed to do. Muscle strength and muscle memory play a huge part in getting that barre right without thinking about it. That takes time and lots of practice.
 
Not dealing specifically with barres, but any chord on the neck..... I remember the first time I realized that to be a proficient player I needed to be able to instantly jump to a chord with out thinking and without hesitation. That was a fun time. Lots of missed chords and dead notes.... but with time, and practice and perseverance, it was accomplished.
 
Start by fretting across all 6 strings. The open tuning of the guitar is a chord. So learn to fret it successfully. Use 2 fingers if needed. Make each of the string ring cleanly.... pick slowly across and listen.   As you start into the barres with additional notes. you will realize that there are generally only about 3 strings that must be fully fretted. The others are not necessary to press all the way down since they are fretted by the "other" fingers.
 
 
Have fun..... build strength .... and play that thing.

Guitarhacker
Not dealing specifically with barres, but any chord on the neck..... I remember the first time I realized that to be a proficient player I needed to be able to instantly jump to a chord with out thinking and without hesitation. That was a fun time. Lots of missed chords and dead notes.... but with time, and practice and perseverance, it was accomplished.

I had the most amazing thing happen to me in college about a month into learning guitar chords that I would never have thought of, but so glad it happened. I am sitting there one night, practicing and watching my left hand like a hawk and *boom* the power goes out. In the four years I was there, this is the only time the power went out, and I can only attribute it to a weird "Act of God." I am sitting there wanting to see my hand, but it is now pitch black... and the power stayed off for over an hour, so I was forced to play by feel and by ear. Those 60 minutes of "random chance" catapulted my guitar playing where I never would have taken it on my own.
 
 

drewfx1
Get an acoustic 12 string and play that for a while.
 
Then when you switch back to the 6 strings, it will seem easy. 

And more in tune.
Jay Tee has some good advice overall, especially the part about playing along with songs you like.  I did this when I was learning 20 years ago, when there was no Sonar or internet for TABs.  I put an Eagles CD on and figured out the chords (I was learning open chords at the time).  I sucked and all I had was an acoustic and I lived in an apartment.  I didn't even play with a pick for the first 6 months because I didn't want to share my suckage with my neighbors.
 
The more you play, the quicker the callouses will form, but don't pull a Brian Adams and play till your fingers bleed - you'll be out of commission for a week if that happens.
 
Good luck and enjoy the journey.

Thanks again to everyone for all the great advice. Being a novice at something is so humbling but every bit of progress feels so rewarding.

Dub, you've got such great advice that I have nothing more to offer except this: keep at it - it's hard but one of the most rewarding things you can accomplish to be able to play the guitar.
 
On a side note - I used to be a snob about tunings (Ah the Goo Goo dolls such because he plays easier patterns in alternate tunings). I'm older now and realize what an idiot I was. It's like people saying the Edge is a crappy guitar player because he relies on delay so much. None of that matters - all that matters is that you create something worth listening to - even if just for yourself. Hell, I had a drummer once that didn't want us to play a cover song tuned down half a step because he thought it was "cheating". We pointed out that this was not for the singer's benefit, but the fact the ORIGINAL was played tuned down half a step. He never grasped that, and was ticked off every time we played it because - in his eyes - we were cheat'n losers! :)

Hi Dub, just my two cents. When I teach people to play guitar, I start with holding the guitar. This doesn't mean an exact position, classical for instance, but holding the guitar in a way that is comftable and most important keeps the guitar secure in that position.  The neck should be in the playing position without using your left hand. If you balance your guitar on your right leg and hold the guitar with your right arm against the lower bout of the guitar and gently push the guitar against your body you've got a rock solid position. By pushing the guitar gently with your right arm and your body as a pivot point your almost pushing the guitar neck into your left hand fingers and you'll need almost no force to play, even barre chords. I usually play with the left hand thumb just lightly touching the back of the neck or even not touching if I want to play vibrato or bend a note.
 
Rik

When I took up classical 15 years ago it really spoiled me in terms of playing position. That classical stance, with the guitar on the left thigh and the foot on a stool, really is the optimal in terms of stability and control, and it allows for a much higher level of dexterity. So much so that, after a year of it I found the "normal" way of holding the guitar to be very awkward and unstable and I couldn't play that way.

It got a little embarrassing at parties when someone would hand me a guitar to bang out some blues and I'd ask if they had a footstool. Not cool in the slightest. I reverted back to the "cool" way a year ago when I bought a Telecaster. I hadn't played an electric in 15 years and I was damned if I was going to look like a dork with it.