I had a teacher in grade school who liked to get everyone's attention by smacking a ruler on his desk. It would make everyone jump - unless the class was making so much noise that the ruler-smack got lost in the din. Even though it was just as loud as always, it lost its impact because it was no longer loud relative to the sounds it had to compete against. In mixing terms, the peak-to-average ratio (also known as "crest factor") was too low.
Loudness and punch are relative. For example, a drum hit is impactful only if it rises significantly above everything around it, including its own sustain. IOW, how hot it is
relative to everything else.
Trying to make
everything loud makes
nothing loud. If loud drums are paramount, then you have to be prepared to sacrifice other instruments toward that end.
Plugins such as Rough Rider can actually work against you in this regard. They'll make drums sound fatter, but at a cost: namely, flattening out each hit so it no longer rises as far above the surrounding sound. The consequence is reduced punch. A big part of mixing drums, and indeed all mixing, is finding a balance between peak and average levels. Rough Rider lowers the crest factor by raising average levels while lowering peaks.
The kick is especially challenging, because we simply don't hear low frequencies well. It takes a whole lot more energy to make low frequencies sound loud. This is why many mixers start with the kick and reference everything else to it. You can't just keep turning the kick up when it starts to disappear into the mix, or you'll end up right where you are now, with no headroom left.
Try applying the compressor to just the kick rather than the whole kit, then adjust the rest of the kit accordingly. If the kick starts to disappear, don't raise it - lower everything else.
As for the second part of your question, the answer is automation. Presumably you're using a synthesizer for the bass; the wobble is amplitude modulation and can be automated to come in exactly when you want it to, and how quickly. The exact instructions for doing this will depend on the synth, but any synth that has a knob for adjusting the modulation amount can be so automated.