yorolpal
It has been my experience that true professional music producers and creators are, for lack of a better term, not "studying you". Or me. There are simple self evident reasons why you (or me) is not yet an international mega star. My advice is to learn how to live with that. YMMV.
You know Ol Pal, that's one thing I often find myself thinking about.
My younger brother started his musician career in his early 20s. In a matter of a few years, his released musical output was 10 times as big as mine, and he had played more concert in a couple of years than I had in all my life. In all honesty, the important thing for me is to write and learn - the rest eludes me.
One major difference between me and all the pros and semi-pros that I have met throughout the years is that, as serious and obsessed as I am w/ music, I never had that sort of sacred respect for my music. It always surprises me to see how musicians will treat their music w/ consideration, each song as a piece of their legacy or something. I visited a friend in Montreal last spring and we discussed a collaboration. He had all those versions and mixes of a song that he'd been working on on and off for years.
I cannot feel that need myself. I have a sort of disregard for my own stuff once it's written. By the time I'm done mixing it, I'm already into the next thing. For example, almost all of the music that I wrote between 2000 and 2009 is on hard drives stored somewhere in Qc, along w/ dozens of reels of analog tape and countless hours of material that I wrote and recorded before 2000. I don't see myself buying a PC and running Sonar just to access those. I gave away the reel to reel tape machine. Practically, I might as well have dumped all that stuff.
I don't have a copy of my released material. I have a few songs of mine as mp3, and that's basically it. But I have all those songs I've written in my head and remembering them is enough.
And sometimes, I'll hear music on the radio or iTunes and go -
man, that's the kind of song idea I had a thousand times and just didn't pursue, as if it wasn't worth the attention. In all humility. Plus, I wouldn't want to be stuck writing in one particular direction. I don't want to play the songs again and again or promote them, I just want to write and record it. After that, I'm done w/ them.
Not until I started writing for my wife did I start being methodic and careful w/ my own stuff, treating it w/ respect, as part of a bigger picture - because it no longer is just mine.
It's not that I don't believe in myself or my talent, but, I have no interest in defining myself through these songs, building a body of work. I just need to write and create stuff, all the time. The results are almost considered a simple byproduct.