Hey All,
 
I don't think I've ever posted this - it's an instrumental I came up with...just a dark thing that came together so quickly that I surprised myself. I'm much better at instrumentals (I feel) than vocal music. I really struggle with vocal music. I was reviewing some old stuff and thought I'd share this.
 
https://soundcloud.com/joshua-barnes/save-my-soul-joshua-barnes-updated
 
I had a writing partner at the time who liked this so much he wanted to write a song to it.
 
Here's a version of that too.
https://soundcloud.com/joshua-barnes/save-my-soul-complete-with-vocal
 

ruralrocker2010
I really struggle with vocal music.

I'm surprised to hear that Joshua. All the songs I have listened to by you so far have sounded real confident and well done in the vocals department.
 
Nice work here... The vocal version is very well done in my opinion... Great singing
 
cheers
 
andy

You've got *it*, that grandiose, eagle-eye view of music. Good job!

synkrotron

ruralrocker2010
I really struggle with vocal music.

I'm surprised to hear that Joshua. All the songs I have listened to by you so far have sounded real confident and well done in the vocals department.
 
Nice work here... The vocal version is very well done in my opinion... Great singing
 
cheers
 
andy

Perhaps what I mean to say is that it's very hard for me. I don't know what the average production cycle for any of you is, but if it's an instrumental, I can pop that out in two days, maybe one. A vocal song takes weeks and months. Never have I ever been able to complete one in less than two weeks. Never.

I think it is just a matter of capturing the right emotion of the particular piece you are attempting to vocalize. I find this is the case for me, even if it is spoken word and not singing.

I enjoyed listening to both tracks and they each have their own distinct style. The tunes that seem to write themselves are always the best imho. 

I like how it skips a beat (or something) that's a cool arrangement. I listened to the non-vocal version. It's a good listen, and a nice instrumental. I do like that riff. Probably I'm waiting for the soaring Gilmour guitar lead. Is it coming?
 
Meanwhile, most of this tune seems weighted in the lower register. I seem to be picking out that snare. My first thought is it has a different reverb on it than the rest. Or maybe, take a look at your snare's reverb being returned, you could maybe roll off some of the lower reverb return from that snare, so the snare would sound more bright? Just a thought, might be worth a try. Low reverb returns can lead to mud, but your song isn't particularly muddy. 
 
cool stuff.
 
-Tom

I really enjoyed this... both versions!
Thank's for sharing!
 
Regards,
Daniel

Nice tune, laid back and kinda dark, like you said.  To me it does need some vocals, or more instrumentation.  I could easily hear some bluesy gravely dark vocal on it, oh yeah.  I would turn this up in the car if it came on the radio, for sure. 
 
Edit:  Ok...so now I listened to the other version with the female vocal, and that's pretty damn good too.  She's got a nice voice for this.  And she got a little gravel in it now and then too.  Sweet.  

Just had a listen to the second version...   Neat arrangement, sparse-ish but still has a few layers happening.  I think the vocals fit great with your music, they sound right together IMO.    The "roller rink" organ tone was an interesting choice too, but it seems to work.