So I know I've mangled my ears over the years and that ear wax buildup is a bodily defense mechanism to avoid damage. I also know that I must have a crazy amount of build up (due to the fact I occasionally yank out some pretty epic orange ear boogers out of my sideholes and particularly because my left ear seems to seal up for a while after I take a shower... it's pretty annoying actually).
 
Ear candling is of course debunked as ineffective (and kind of crazy dangerous AAAAGH EAR FIRE!!!) and plunging is kind of considered a drastic move in many circles but I would very much like to get the proverbial potatoes out of my ears so I can recalibrate them for my hopefully long(ish) life of mixing now that I kind of sort of know how I like things to sound.
 
Anyone had this done and/or have any thoughts on the subject? I also want to see if I can get sent to an audiologist (there is one in town) to check for any dead freqs in my hearing spectrum that I can account or as I muck about with my nerdlinging.
 
And now for a classic (ultra old school edition) Beepster CSB.
 
When I was maybe 8 or so I went to the docs with my dad and was in the room when he got an ear plunging. The things that came out were about half the length of a cigarette. Freaky deaky man.
 
I kind of figure it would feel like taking a big healthy poop out of your earballs.
 
And I think I need that.
 
Discuss.

PS: Cheryl/Carol from Archer seems to have stolen the werd "earballs" from me because I was saying that before Archer was even a thing.
 
But I forgive her though... because she's awesome.
 
#OUTLAWCOUNTRYYALL

Have you tried showering?
 

What are a "showering"?
 
:-/

I've always been weary of getting my ears syringed by the doctor. Too much pressure and they can rupture your eardrum. So what I've found instead is a special syringe which has a nozzle on the end that squirts the water out in 3 angled jets, so it still flushes your ears out but doesn't spray directly on your eardrum. I forget the brand of it but you can probably find it with a Google search. 
 
But that's the easiest part of getting rid of an earwax plug. First of all you have to soften it. A syringe on its own is not going to do much good. There are many earwax softeners available in the drugstore, but honestly, I don't think any of them are better than good old olive oil. That's how I got rid of my last plug. 
 
I'd been cleaning the outside of my ear with a Q-tip and in a moment of madness decided to shove it in at an angle because I had this idea that there was a plug of wax in there that I might be able to dislodge. Big mistake - I ended up compressing it up against my eardrum and went totally deaf in that ear. It took me 2 or 3 days of softening with olive oil before a good squirt with the 3-jet syringe got it out. The best way to do it is to tip your head, pour a few drops of oil in the ear, then plug it up with cotton wool and leave it 10-20 minutes. Or in the absence of cotton wool, just lie on your side to make sure it doesn't drip out. 
 
There are some circumstances in which a plug will come out without softening however. Many years ago I was swimming in the local pool and felt something in my ear. An enormous dark brown/red plug had come loose, and I think it might have had something to do with the forces of the churning water around my ears as I swam freestyle. 

Not sure if you are serious, but just get one of those ear thingys from a chemist, they are made for exactly that. Depending, on how long, if ever since you have had it done, the first time might require some industrial strength power, you can get some stuff to soften it up first, but after that the little squeezy thing from the chemist will work fine, just do it regularly. I was told by a doctor when I was a young'n that I had overactive wax factories, and after a few trips to get my ears syringed out I said to myself no more, got the little squeezy thing, give them a hit once a week, and it's all good.  (you foreigners might call a chemist store a drug store, dunno)

sharke
 
I'd been cleaning the outside of my ear with a Q-tip and in a moment of madness decided to shove it in at an angle because I had this idea that there was a plug of wax in there that I might be able to dislodge. Big mistake - I ended up compressing it up against my eardrum and went totally deaf in that ear. It took me 2 or 3 days of softening with olive oil before a good squirt with the 3-jet syringe got it out.

I've always since remembered a bit of advice the doc once said "never stick anything in your ear smaller than your elbow' I had the old Q-tip compaction a couple of times.

I remember they used to have these drops that you put into your ear and it caused the wax to melt and flow out.
 
I, personally, do what they tell you not to do every day (I also put a q-tip into my ears), but my technique has never caused me any issues and my ears are better today than they should be for my age (go figure!).

Pardon?

I'll keep all my plugs. I paid a pretty penne for them.
 
Plugs Eventually Negate Intensive Sonics.