Chapter 1
 
It was a cold, dark, stormy night.  The lights were out and the air was frigid.  The darkness roared in the sound of the silence, and the storm through cold wet drops of water on the dark cabin in the middle of field where Jack Peppercorn was having dinner.
 
Peppercorn was a stout and stately man.  He had long black hair and looked like a person with long black hair.  His eyes were dark and stormy, and he was a night person too.
 
Skip ahead...   Skip ahead....
 

Chapter 2 next week.

Jimmy Crack(head)corn?

'Threw', not 'through'.
 
 
Vicar Wilt and Lance Corporal Wittering have started up a whistling club which they have named "Triller's Corner". This week they will give a concert dedicated to the counter melodies of Vaughan Williams as interpreted by the Hillankton Oaks Rowing Eight. In G. Curiously tickets are selling poorly amongst the men and none so far have signed up as members; they seem more keen to attend what they tell me is a very educational lecture to be held this evening in the public bar of the Ploughman's Crupper on the merits of the Kentish hop, nearby in the village of Strear Blethering. Capital to see the men with an outside interest though, I must say.

Enclosed please find four tins of strained herring blancmange.
 
 

jamesg1213
'Threw', not 'through'.

Depends on what part of the country your frum.

Sounds a bit dark....

Mesh
Sounds a bit dark....

 
Nights generally are. Not always of course, but I think it was an unnecessary adjective, in this case.

IBTL
 
Dark Night controversy and all.

Do you think he used Beep's Magic 8-Ball to come up with his ideas?

I thought you might come in with Black Dog? too dark?