Updated the video, 'cause you don't want to leave clips in with "Videoblocks" watermarking on them! And I learned, frame rate makes a difference. 30 fps is different that 29.97. Who knew? Much smoother now. Any comments are very welcome.
 
YouTube: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaWCsCCAEEk
 
 
 
 
Soundcloud with "spoken word": https://soundcloud.com/songsbytom-com/a-very-very-troubled-soul
 
without: https://soundcloud.com/songsbytom-com/a-very-very-troubled-soul-instrumental
 
 
thanks very much!
 
-Tom

It's a good track either way, although, without the "spoken word", there are periods where you can tell that something is missing. I think if you want to do a music-only version, you should have another instrument carry a melody (or something) to keep things in focus. Really liking all of the instrumentation you chose, and those drum grooves are slick!
 
Two thumbs (and a pinky) up!
 
Regards,
Dan
 

Tom
I liked the spoken word version better. (I thought the spoken word part was from a Lyndon Johnson speech at first, but nope.) The instruments played off each other very well. Nicely done.  

I focused more on the words than the music so to me it would be better to leave out or shorten some of the instrumental sections between the spoken word parts. I found myself wanting to get to the heart of the matter but didn't get there until half way through, not that there's anything wrong with that.  

I enjoyed the listen. Thanks.

this is really good Tom - love the sounds you've used and the drums sound great.
All the little breakdowns here and there are spot on.
Listened to the spoken word version
 

I Listened to the spoken word version. Very (troublingly) poignant. The music was great.
 

We have a local pianist/producer named Tom Grant.  He has done similar productions.  I like your style.

Hi Tom, 
 
I really was absorbed by this; I hope the troubled soul is not a troubled emeraldsoul. 
 
I think it's just great (although obviously distressing)!  It's a very moving piece of work.
 
It did cross my mind as I was listening that if you wanted to try an alternate arrangement, you might experiment with (while keeping the "I come to you tonight with.... troubled soul" section as the "chorus") splitting the long "verse" that articulates the details of why his soul is troubled into two shorter "half" verses. You could then place the first one somewhat earlier in the piece, to be followed by another "chorus" or so and then the second section of the "verse" and then another "chorus" ....Hmmm, this is as clear as mud. :) I mean:
 
a) Chorus or a few chorus sections as you already have them
b) The first half of the verse (coming in earlier than where the one long verse starts now)
c) More chorus sections (as you have them)
d) The second half of the verse (starting around where your complete verse starts now)
e) More chorus sections 
f) Maybe even one complete verse near the end?  
 
Anyway, those were just musings. As I said, I like it very much just as it is. Thank you very much for this piece, Tom.
 
LJ
 
 
 

Skinnybones! - Thanks, and that's quite funny because at one point I was working on doing exactly that! As is, the middle is a little bit like drinking through a fire hose, with all the lyrics. I probably need to lose a few.
 
The trouble with that suggestion I think is the added song time it would seem to require - right now the song runs around 4:10 and I wanted to avoid it going 5 or 6 minutes, 'cause overall it's slightly distressing in subject and who needs that for 6 minutes?   :)
 
Eph221 - many thanks, I do what I do, as do you . . . glad you liked it. Portland, OR has a piano player by the name of Tom Grant and he's waaaaay better than me, as far as I can tell. Is that your guy?
 
Ed - glad you liked the music, and perhaps if bad stuff happens, it hopefully won't be as dire as what's not-so-obliquely being discussed in my song. Or, if it does, the compensation will be some Shiny New Infrastructure. Most likely, though, "Everything Is Going To Be Fine" . . . fingers crossed!
 
Daryl - thanks for the listen, particularly on those drums, which I spent forever on. I still think the snare is a bit light in its current presentation; I just can't find the right way to fix it up. Oh, well. Thanks!
 
cheers,
-Tom
 
 

Hi again Tom,
Just to make sure: I didn't mean for a minute that there were too many words; in fact, I hope you don't cut a single one of them! They have great impact. I just thought maybe squishing some of them in a little earlier might work. I completely get what you mean when you say you don't want your song to end up being too long (says the queen of the too-flippin'-long song! :)
LJ

I've never heard him live!

emeraldsoul
Skinnybones! - Thanks, and that's quite funny because at one point I was working on doing exactly that! As is, the middle is a little bit like drinking through a fire hose, with all the lyrics. I probably need to lose a few.
 
The trouble with that suggestion I think is the added song time it would seem to require - right now the song runs around 4:10 and I wanted to avoid it going 5 or 6 minutes, 'cause overall it's slightly distressing in subject and who needs that for 6 minutes?   :)
 
Eph221 - many thanks, I do what I do, as do you . . . glad you liked it. Portland, OR has a piano player by the name of Tom Grant and he's waaaaay better than me, as far as I can tell. Is that your guy?
 
Ed - glad you liked the music, and perhaps if bad stuff happens, it hopefully won't be as dire as what's not-so-obliquely being discussed in my song. Or, if it does, the compensation will be some Shiny New Infrastructure. Most likely, though, Everything Will Be Okay . . .
 
Daryl - thanks for the listen, particularly on those drums, which I spent forever on. I still think the snare is a bit light in its current presentation; I just can't find the right way to fix it up. Oh, well. Thanks!
 
cheers,
-Tom
 

 
http://tomgrant.com/biography-2
 
I've never heard him live so can't make a comparison.  As far as recordings go, I remember he was kind of a prog. jazz guy.  It'd be cool to see him play straight ahead stuff sometime.