https://soundcloud.com/papergate-451130648/suicide

Mix sounds very crowded to me like everything is sitting on top of everything else, need to give everything some more space.  Thanks for sharing.

I very much like this vibey song.
 
You could lose that "cricket in the weeds" hi-hat I think and safely not miss much. I'd turn the vocals up, bass down just a hair. Probably bring the electric guitar (lead) up a bit when the singer isn't singing. Your rhythm acoustics seem fairly swamped in chorus, which is a choice of course, but maybe just a tad drier and lower in volume for those acoustics?
 
I like your singing voice very much! I'd get out the mixing machete and thwack out a hole for those vocals to shine.
The song and arrangement are particularly catchy.
 
-Tom

My Brother, You have a work here,.
 
I say eliminate the drum track (and build another one.),, now, iit is racing, tempo wise and timing wise.  The drums on this should be subdued, halting.
 
I have listened to your other songs, you are talented and I love your lyrics.
 
Screed Q. jesse
 
 

Many thanks guys for the constructive points, and I too feel it finished a tad overcooked, but you know how it is when you've sort of had enough and that was how it ended up here to see what could be done. I really like writing words and I'm (as is most probably apparent) not a musician.