Hello everyone, I'm back with a brand new song that I wrote two weeks ago.  I defer to all of you to help steer me in the right direction.  This song is so new that I'm very much open to ideas and suggestions.  Once again, I feature my new EBow which I'm having a blast with.  I hope you enjoy this ditty about the affects of aging.
 
new mix on 3/28/17
 
I appreciate all your replies, and it can be found here: http://www.soundclick.com...ngid=13521702&q=hi
 
 

First of all, great song - lyrics, instrumentation, chord structure, performance = A1.
My only nit is the drum pattern during the verses. It seems to make the track drag, mainly early on.
Listening a bit closer, I think it's the snare flams that are doing the damage - no dragging during the chorus.
Again, this is a bloody good song, I'm on my third listen. Your vocal reminds me of Peter Gabriel on this one.
Nice one Lynn.

Sounds like the basis of a good tune here, like Daryl there is something about the drums that does not quite gel.  Do not ask me what as I do not tend to use drums that often so I can not help.  Will keep the furry ears out for the updates. 

Love the song and general structure of this tune, typing this on my third listen. There is something about the drums which like the others I can't really put my finger on, maybe its the double hit/roll of the snare that's making it not gel. 
 
Forgot to add, it sounds great on my surface pro 4 speakers - great mix 

Loved it.  The drums didn't bother me as much.  The drummer is on the back end of the beat to be sure, but it didn't bother me.  :D:D

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!   Excellent number.  A bit different and more orchestrated than some of your other songs.  The lyrics are great and your delivery is excellent.  I liked you use of the "telephone" FX on the vocals.  The use of strings worked out well and for some reason I just loved that rhythm guitar panned hard left (little things excite me).  I don't know ---- I didn't have a problem with the drums. 
Brilliant stuff Lynn!

Lynn,
 
This sounds and feels like you are entering new territory from what I've heard from you before. This is a really good song, and your arrangement is quite nice. Your mix is nice and open, no crowding, with everything audible. The drums don't bother me, but they could be simplified a bit and use the flam more as accents periodically.
 
Regards,
Dan

Daryl, thanks for your kind comments.  I'll explain the drums in a minute.
 
Wookie, as always, thanks for listening and replying.
 
Adrian, I appreciate your comments and taking the time for the extra listens.
 
Eph, thanks for your comment.  You're on to something about the drums.
 
Freddy, wow, you always encourage me with your comments.  So grateful.
 
Dan, thank you so much for your observation about going into new territory.  Sometimes you just get lucky when trying to be creative.
 
As to the drums:  Now, I'm going to spend a bit of time listening to alternative parts, which I don't mind doing at all.  The current part is a simple straight 4/4 beat from Superior Drummer's Avatar beats.  I like it because of the double snare beat, which reminds me of something Bill Bruford of King Crimson does a lot.  It is something that I don't use when I program my own patterns because I'm not a drummer, and I do like counterpoint very much.  I use a different pattern in the chorus.  I consider the verses the part of the song that's most affected by gravity, and the choruses are the parts that "defy" gravity ;)
 
 

Lynn
 
 
As to the drums:  Now, I'm going to spend a bit of time listening to alternative parts, which I don't mind doing at all.  The current part is a simple straight 4/4 beat from Superior Drummer's Avatar beats.  I like it because of the double snare beat, which reminds me of something Bill Bruford of King Crimson does a lot.  It is something that I don't use when I program my own patterns because I'm not a drummer, and I do like counterpoint very much.  I use a different pattern in the chorus.  I consider the verses the part of the song that's most affected by gravity, and the choruses are the parts that "defy" gravity ;)
 
 

Fairy nuff mate - it's only a personal nit and a very small one - I love the song.
 
 
 

Hehehe.......Daryl said Fairy.....hehehehe