For years, omfg, almost 10 years now I've been getting calls from, "The United States Federal IRS, and The Sherriff, The Grant and Loan Department, The FBI," etc, etc, etc...
 
Its because I once really did have identity theft, and also apparently there is somebody in Florida with my exact first, last, and middle name who is a serious felon and stuff.
 
But anyway its so annoying.  
 
Every time they call with this, "Grant dept. schtick," I tell them to, "send me a check."  When they call with the FBI, and the IRS, I tell them the Federal Government passed a law cutting their funding and they can no longer afford to call, so they could not possibly be calling.
 
We've actually had like arguments about whether or not they could afford to call me, and if they are not really Zombies from Mars.
 
Usually after a minute or two they hang up..
 
I must be their most annoying person to call

No!  Really?  Tell us more!  

craigb
No!  Really?  Tell us more!  

 
In an unrelated matter.  The 2017 Mile High Society award for, "Class and Glam," has finally been given out to this lovely couple:  http://www.foxnews.com/tr...ats-officials-say.html

If you have a commercial website, scams come in the form of shady SEO companies who call you up and claim that they're "working with Google" and can get you on the first page of Google search results. Some actually claim to be Google and that they're calling to confirm your Google Business listing. Mostly I just hang up, but every now and then - usually if I'm in the bathroom for the long haul -  I'll call them out on this "affiliated with Google" BS and listen to them squirm as they try and backpedal (or in some cases, double down and insist that they have special access to Google). It's all about wasting as much of their time as possible.
 
I find it helps to suggest that you might be interested in their services, if only they could explain a little about themselves and who they really are. It's at that point they're caught off guard because they have previously been hung up on 300 times  that day - you hear a frantic rustling of papers as they try to find the relevant part of the script. I have them going around in circles with stupid questions and then when I get bored I'll treat them to a little summary of why I know they're telling lies and in which ways their dumb script didn't add up. That's when the verbal abuse usually starts - their one lead of the day and they got b**** slapped. I even had one furious guy yell at me "YOU WILL NEVER BE ON GOOGLE AGAIN! YOU ARE BANNED!" Still waiting for that one to take effect!

My cell block mate at college won a Macarthur Genius Award. :D:D  I didn't even know she wrote poetry!  I wish we had written music together.

sharke
If you have a commercial website, scams come in the form of shady SEO companies who call you up and claim that they're "working with Google" and can get you on the first page of Google search results. Some actually claim to be Google and that they're calling to confirm your Google Business listing. Mostly I just hang up, but every now and then - usually if I'm in the bathroom for the long haul -  I'll call them out on this "affiliated with Google" BS and listen to them squirm as they try and backpedal (or in some cases, double down and insist that they have special access to Google). It's all about wasting as much of their time as possible.
 
I find it helps to suggest that you might be interested in their services, if only they could explain a little about themselves and who they really are. It's at that point they're caught off guard because they have previously been hung up on 300 times  that day - you hear a frantic rustling of papers as they try to find the relevant part of the script. I have them going around in circles with stupid questions and then when I get bored I'll treat them to a little summary of why I know they're telling lies and in which ways their dumb script didn't add up. That's when the verbal abuse usually starts - their one lead of the day and they got b**** slapped. I even had one furious guy yell at me "YOU WILL NEVER BE ON GOOGLE AGAIN! YOU ARE BANNED!" Still waiting for that one to take effect!

This is why my business phone number is a Grasshopper toll-free number that never gets answered.  I only listen to the voice messages, which the scammers never leave.

We never answer the land-line now. If it's a 'real' person, they can leave a message. I never answer unknown numbers to my mobile either. Makes for a peaceful life.

jamesg1213
We never answer the land-line now. If it's a 'real' person, they can leave a message. I never answer unknown numbers to my mobile either. Makes for a peaceful life.

I do the same unless I'm in the right mood to wind them up a bit, but here's the thing......when I do actually answer almost 100% of the time now whoever it is hangs up without saying anything ? WTF??
 
I can only assume that they are so used to being either being ignored or told to sod off that they have forgotten what they are supposed to say if anyone actually gives them the opportunity to say something so they panic and hang up.

paulo

jamesg1213
We never answer the land-line now. If it's a 'real' person, they can leave a message. I never answer unknown numbers to my mobile either. Makes for a peaceful life.

I do the same unless I'm in the right mood to wind them up a bit, but here's the thing......when I do actually answer almost 100% of the time now whoever it is hangs up without saying anything ? WTF??
 
I can only assume that they are so used to being either being ignored or told to sod off that they have forgotten what they are supposed to say if anyone actually gives them the opportunity to say something so they panic and hang up.

 
I suspect a lot of these drones get paid by the call (probably 0.000001 rupee), so if the phone is picked up that's good enough for them.

I get a lot of the scam calls that feature a recorded message (usually starting along the lines of "Your business has been selected for an interest free....."). I'm amazed at how bad these scammers are at holding your attention. The voice is always a very chirpy woman who sounds like she's narrating a radio commercial. Big red flag right there, I'll hang up instantly. Then they started saying "Hi...." and leaving a gap (for you to reply "hi") before speaking again. Ooooo how crafty! Now they've gotten so clever, they start their messages with "Don't hang up!" as if that's going to make anyone keep listening. Guys...guys...doesn't matter what you do, it always sounds like a recorded message. Always. People are extremely good at detecting whether they're listening to a real person or a recording.