Here's another of the 2 songs I'm thinking of releasing. Please be as brutal as you need to be.
 
https://soundcloud.com/so...ion/nomansland/s-fAYNL
 
Final mix (March 4th)
 
https://steenelm.bandcamp.com/track/nomansland

Some Melodyne on the vocals here and there couldn't hurt. Could use some backing vocals too.
 
Since you commented on "Three Out Of Four Ain't Half Bad" as having a boomy bass I truly feel that the bass here is bordering on non-existent, IMO. That would have been my crit here regardless of your comment there but you were wondering if it might be your speakers. 

bapu
Some Melodyne on the vocals here and there couldn't hurt. Could use some backing vocals too.
 
Since you commented on "Three Out Of Four Ain't Half Bad" as having a boomy bass I truly feel that the bass here is bordering on non-existent, IMO. That would have been my crit here regardless of your comment there but you were wondering if it might be your speakers. 

Yeah. I'm beginning to think that, as I noticed it on other tracks afterward. Dissapoint. Maybe I should have chosen the JBL's. Thanks for your feedbank.

bapu
Some Melodyne on the vocals here and there couldn't hurt. Could use some backing vocals too.
 

Got to +1 on Ed's comment, again will keep the furry lugs out for the remix. 

Nice song. Good strong songwriting!
I do not agree on melodyne.
I hear potential in your voice but it is not really working the way you sing now.
You are playing it safe, and not really hitting all the notes. It becomes a mix of talking and singing.
My advice, see a vocal coach. Im pretty sure he/ she could do magic because i hear potential.
 
 
 

Not a bad start. If you can take this to the next level, you've got something. I do agree that there is hardly any bass here, but that's only part of what needs to be addressed. Your vocal, overall, is better on this than on "That's What She Said", so I would focus on getting the instruments to better support your vocal.
 
The monitors may not be the problem if you haven't taken a hard look at your mixing space.
 
Regards,
Dan

dcumpian
The monitors may not be the problem if you haven't taken a hard look at your mixing space.
 
Regards,
Dan

As I just returned from errands, as I was driving I was going to come back and say this. So Dan beat me to it.

kloon
Nice song. Good strong songwriting!
I do not agree on melodyne.
I hear potential in your voice but it is not really working the way you sing now.
You are playing it safe, and not really hitting all the notes. It becomes a mix of talking and singing.
My advice, see a vocal coach. Im pretty sure he/ she could do magic because i hear potential.
 

I guess that's good as I always thought it would be cooler to create the songs rather than sing them. It's just no fun write songs and not have them go anywhere. I'm not sure about the vocal coach. On the other hand I would not put anything out that sounds terrible. I just I'll have to practise.
 

dcumpian
Not a bad start. If you can take this to the next level, you've got something. I do agree that there is hardly any bass here, but that's only part of what needs to be addressed. Your vocal, overall, is better on this than on "That's What She Said", so I would focus on getting the instruments to better support your vocal.
 
The monitors may not be the problem if you haven't taken a hard look at your mixing space.
 
Regards,
Dan

bapu

dcumpian
The monitors may not be the problem if you haven't taken a hard look at your mixing space.
 
Regards,
Dan

As I just returned from errands, as I was driving I was going to come back and say this. So Dan beat me to it.

I feel like and idiot right now, as I remembered there were some foam rubber pads that came with the monitors. I guess they're meant to prevent the table to "sing along" and keep the neutrality. I fetched them form the box and it helped. I had replaced my sampled bass with a synth bass, but now it's back in.
Thanks for the feedback Dan. "That's what she said" was just written earlier this week, so I haven't sung it as much yet. Gonna take some more cracks at it.

There's a lot of potential in this song, Steen, and as for the vocal-sometimes transposing a song up a step or two can bring out the best in one's voice.  I'd like to hear your voice in another range, and who knows?

Lynn
There's a lot of potential in this song, Steen, and as for the vocal-sometimes transposing a song up a step or two can bring out the best in one's voice.  I'd like to hear your voice in another range, and who knows?

Thanks Lynn. It's not a bad idea as I did that with "The key to your heart" and that worked well, but unfortunately my vocal range isn't that wide as I would have liked. I'll test it though.